Friday, August 24, 2018

This Is Life


Today was all over the damn place. Woke up this morning and felt like the world was crashing around me. A morning of existential angst and despair and fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.

These days do happen.

The best thing was that we'd agreed to have a family meet-up at El Pat, our Mexican restaurant where they know us and we know them and they put up with us and we appreciate that. Hank and Rachel, Lily and Maggie, Jessie and August and Levon, Mr. Moon and I were all there. August saw his Boppy and that was that for him. He crawled on his lap and barely budged.


I got no notice at all from the boy until his grandfather left and then he deigned to sit on my lap and ask me to draw him pictures. But that was okay because Maggie came and sat on my lap and she shared my lunch and August shared Boppy's lunch and it was all good. Levon even let Boppy hold him and Maggie had to crawl up into that lap too because she loves babies with all of her passionate little Maggie heart.


She loves her Boppy too. 

But it was after lunch that the magic happened. For some reason, August and Maggie seemed to really notice each other and want to communicate in depth for the first time. They sat first on the steps outside the restaurant and had a conversation about their shoes and August's socks and Maggie's lack of socks. 




It was the most beautiful thing. Honestly, all of us adults simply stood and watched them as if we were watching a play. It was not just entertaining, it was amazing. All of a sudden, they've both achieved a level of vocabulary which allows them to have a real, true conversation. 
After awhile, for some reason they moved to the little wall beside the landscaping and continued the conversation. 



They even tickled each other which led to this. 


I swear, we stood there and watched these cousins talking and interacting for at least fifteen minutes and then there were places to be and things to do. 
But oh, how sweet it all was to my heart, to see this interaction, these two cousins finally, after so many tries, finally figuring out how to be together as friends. 

So I was feeling somewhat cheered when I got home but then I opened up Facebook to discover that a man who has been a friend of mine for longer than I've known my husband died today. 
Hit me hard in the gut, even though he's been sick for awhile and I knew it was coming. He'd been diagnosed with a cancer that the doctors admitted they could not cure but because he loved his wife and his kids and his grandson, he agreed to get surgery and do chemo to stave off what he knew was inevitable. And he was doing okay. Doing okay. 
His wife had retired and they'd moved from Montgomery, Alabama to Tampa, Florida where they were both from. And Zig was getting gigs and playing some. He was a guitar player and a serious one and he never felt as if he was truly living unless he could play and so it was a good thing for him but then he got a MRSA infection that took him down bad. He spent a lot of time in the hospital and felt worse than he'd felt throughout the whole cancer but once they got that under control, he got a pulmonary embolism which went undiagnosed and led to a heart attack which miraculously did not kill him but he never recovered from that and well, now he's gone. 

I have a million things I could say about him, a million things I'd like to say about him. But right now, my heart hurts. I've talked about him before and Glen and I went and saw him play in Mobile in 2012 to catch up a little, drink some tequila, talk about old days and new.

I wish I'd gone to see him play again, especially after I knew he was sick. We did talk back and forth some via FB messenger. I'm glad of that. I think he appreciated the fact that I never told him I was praying for him. Sometimes we discussed Cuban food and how to make it.

I'm thinking of his wife. I'm thinking of his sons.
I'm thinking of him.



Ziggy Luis. There are a million youtubes.

Maybe tomorrow I'll try to write something more in depth about him but for right now I'll just say- Fly free, Zig. God. You were beloved.
And your version of Bell Bottom Blues was always my favorite.

Love...Ms. Moon


32 comments:

  1. I'm very sorry for your loss of such a good friend. These losses always feel like a punch to the heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely. Like...how does this happen? How can he be just gone?

      Delete
  2. those two, Maggie and August, are just so cute. yeah, and sorry to hear about your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I would have loved to see the Magnolia and August conversation. When I was born I had two cousins older than me, born in October and November. I was born in February then had another cousin born a week later than another cousin again in October. 5 kids born within a year. Oh, the fun we had!

    I am sorry about your friend. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had cousins close in age but we lived far apart so unfortunately, our relationships never really had a chance to develop. Some of us are FB friends now, which is good, but it's not as good as actually seeing each other.

      Delete
  4. One of my great disappointments was not having cousins in my life. I am so happy for August and Maggie, here's hoping for a life time of connection between them. I'm really sorry about your friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope all of my grandkids can remain friends for a lifetime, too. They are a tribe!

      Delete
  5. August and Maggie are adorable together. Cousins are the best. I’m so sorry about the loss of your friend. Life is such a mixed bag these days. Love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Life is always a mixed bag, I think. Birth and death and everything in between and there is often no time to take a breath as they happen.

      Delete
  6. That is an adorable pair. It is so nice when your kids kids are close. Somehow it feels complete.

    ReplyDelete
  7. August and Maggie are too adorable, beyond words. How much they will love each other as they grow into their lives....... and I am so sorry you lost a good friend. it is a pang to the heart to lose a long time part of ones self....... my condolences to you
    Susan M

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah. Zig is a part of my history and it's almost impossible for me to believe he's gone.

      Delete
  8. I am so sorry for your loss. Being expected doesn't make it any less bitter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. No less bitter. There is no pre-grieving.

      Delete
  9. So sad to hear about your friend Ziggy...I will look him up to hear his music and honor him and your friendship.

    As for Maggie and August ~ they are soulmates for life. Lucky for me, I speak from personal experience!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I remember you telling me about him, Mary. I am so, so sorry. Cancer. It sucks. Death. It sucks. I'm sending you so much love.

    And those photos of those two little ones -- my god.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Elizabeth. He was one of those people that you just love and that's all there is to it. He brought a lot of joy to a lot of people.
      Aren't those two little twin cousins lovely?

      Delete
  11. Your day was one long ride on the cosmic roller coaster that is this life, Ms. Moon. I'm so glad for the cousins (the most adorable photos ever) and so down over the loss of your friend. Hope you are finding rest this night. I'll look up some of those You Tube videos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Tara. I swear, I am exhausted today from yesterday. Sometimes I just feel like I'm exhausted from life in general. Still, we go on.

      Delete
  12. I am so sorry to hear of your friend's death. That would cast a pall over any day.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I’m so sorry that you lost your good friend. Life just sucks sometimes. I’m happy you knew him, though, and had him in your life so long. And those cousins connecting with each other - what a gift for them both! I had no close relatives in my life, so I can only imagine what friends they’ll be for each other throughout their lives. Thanks for showing us their beginnings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We were the kind of friends who seemed to just reconnect over the years for completely different and various reasons. Odd. But sometimes it happens that way.

      Delete
  14. i am so sorry about your friend.

    xxalainaxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too, Mrs. A. Somehow I just feel certain you would have loved him too.

      Delete
  15. My heartfelt condolences on the death of your friend. It's hard, no matter how much it is expected. When you are up to it, I would love to hear some of your stories about him. Take care,
    Wilma

    ReplyDelete
  16. I didn't know Ziggy until you introduced him to me so I spent a few minutes listening to him on YouTube. This one is my favorites because of the lyrics. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm-gbjOQZ8Y

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm so sorry to hear about Zig. It's always a shock when someone we've known for a long time dies. A real indicator of the passage of time and loss.

    I love those pictures of August and Maggie having their chat! They're growing so fast! And you can tell they'll be good friends to each other.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I am so sorry for your loss, it's never never easy to let go.

    Looking at your grandchildren and reading about their encounter brought back memories from my student years when I was still seriously considering an academic career in linguistics and esp. language development. For a couple of months I worked as an intern for a project investigating the onset of abstract thinking in young children. This is really just another term for the moment "when the penny drops". There are a couple of standard tests, mostly involving playing with shapes and colours, that kids do while the adult watches from a distance (mums were always present). I remember watching small kids, like August here, suddenly crossing that border into the world of reflecting and thinking things over and then testing it out and that huge sense of joy and belonging and well, being someone, taking over. It does come naturally, like an instinct.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.