Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Seriously?

So. We all know that I have fear of all-things-medical to an extremely unhealthy degree. It's only gotten worse over the years and now extends even to getting an eye exam and I've put getting one off as long as I can but I know I need a new prescription and these glasses I'm wearing are so scratched that wearing them is a constant annoyance. So this morning I gathered my girded loins (not literally) and finally called the place I went to last time. I liked the doctor I saw there but I have forgotten his name.
Now, I KNOW I'm still in the records at this place because they call me routinely to tell me that I need to come in and get an eye exam although I never answer the phone and they leave messages. So. I figure that sure, they'll just be able to look me up and get me in to see that guy if he is indeed still with them.
So. As I said. I called.
I pretended to be a regular person calling for an eye exam and said my little spiel about needing one and wanting to see the doctor I'd seen before and forgetting his name and the lady who'd answered the phone said, "Just a moment please," and put me on hold where I was told repeatedly that my call was important to them, etc., with a snappy little song playing in the background and eventually someone answered and I gave my little spiel again and was put on hold again and then finally I heard the sound of a ringing telephone and eventually, the call was picked up but all I could hear was someone in the background sighing heavily and I finally said, "Hello!" and then there was a second of the snappy little song but before I could be told that my call was very important, the call ended to the sound of a busy signal.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

So. I hung up and called again and immediately and without the hassle of going through the whole being put on hold again, got the Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

What the fuck?

All right. I just called again and obviously, they are having a very hard time with calls this morning so I shall try again later.

Now. I wonder how long it will take me to call and arrange that colonoscopy and mammogram I'm supposed to be getting?

You know, I joke about all of this but honestly I am aware that this fear is extremely unhealthy, life-hindering, and takes up a great deal of my time and energy simply trying to deal with it.
I do understand that no one likes to go to the doctor (except for a few individuals who are insane in the opposite direction) but I'm pretty sure this avoidance and anxiety exceed the normal limits.

Aren't I special?

No. I am not. But I wish I were a little less fearful, a little more sensible, and a lot more able to simply do what one must do and accept that these things are a part of life and in fact, can save your life.
For now, at least.
As far as I know, Jim Morrison nailed it when he said that no one gets out of here alive.

Onward.

Love...Ms. Moon




16 comments:

  1. Sounds like someone needs a new office manager! Seriously, going to the doctor is never fun. I'm with you on that.

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    1. (Except that occasionally they might save your life.)

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    2. Or a new phone system. That was completely fucked. And I never did get to make an appointment so I wasted all that angst for nothing.

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  2. Jim had it exactly right...he offered us a glimpse of the way out! If we are all just passing through, maybe we could just enjoy the ride and not identify too strongly with the body which is clearly going the way of all things? But no, we all want these strange bodies to live forever on the sunny side of the street, and therefore, suffer greatly in the process. I lasted 2 minutes in the CT scan apparatus...I just had to tell the poor tech that there was no way this was happening for 20 minutes, unless I was in a semi-coma!

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    1. I've never had to undergo a CT scan or an MRI and I'd just as soon never have to. Bodies are so bothersome.

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  3. I do have 'white coat syndrome,' which means my blood pressure skyrockets when I see a doctor of any kind. Fortunately, my family doc takes my BP a second time just before we're finished, and it's usually back to normal. My dentist though? Unhealthy, unnatural, infuriating fear! Doesn't matter if it's a cleaning or a root canal...I walk in his office, to the restroom, throw up, brush my teeth (with the paste and brush I bring along), and when I walk out the dental assistant takes me directly to the exam room. And I hate feeling this way!

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    1. My doctor does the same but my BP is always still horribly high.
      This fear we have is simply horrible, isn't it?

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  4. Yep. I get it. I have Kaiser--which is good and bad. If you do have some sort of health issue that needs a re-check and you ignore emails, calls, and texts they will send you a registered letter that you must sign for. I think one of the things that makes me take good care of myself is distrust/fear of the medical establishment. I would like a single payer plan with cash bonuses for good behavior (patients and medical professionals.) I'm only half kidding. Good luck to you, Mrs. Moon.

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    1. I agree with you.
      And it seems mighty harsh to have to sign for a registered letter if you ignore calls and emails. Jeez.

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  5. Have you tried Costco? You can be looking at big screen TV's and eating pigs in a blanket then go and get your eyes checked, leave then go get a big ass hot dog as a reward. And they are cheaper. After your hot dog you can pick out lenses.

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    1. I would do that but I have so many issues with my eyes and vision. That last doctor I saw was the first one who figured out how to correct something (I have no idea what) which no doctor had been able to figure out ever. Which is why I trust him.

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  6. I am the same and l have finally after years of doctor drama got the best doc in the UK maybe the world. Went to get my blood takenn6 weeks after he gave me form. Took me months to go to see him the end up with dratted form. Now l have to go back to doc for next step. I think we are providing a public service keeping demand down. Maggi in the UK XXX

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    1. I agree, Maggi! And if we die- well, fewer patients to have to contend with, right?

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    2. Yes we are leading the way in modern healthcare both sides of the pond. xxx

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    3. Yes we are leading the way in modern healthcare both sides of the pond. xxx

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