Friday, October 28, 2016

Being Careful With Myself

The old jail in Monticello where we early vote was fairly busy today. The ladies behind the counter are ON IT! and efficient and when I started filling out my ballot I got so emotional. Just seeing that name on the official piece of paper made me want to whimper with anger and with fear and with the absolute disbelief I still have after all these months.
I admit- Trump has caused a lot of nasty PTSD in me and I feel shaken to my core that there is any possibility whatsoever that this predator has the possibility of being our president. Obama has been such a grace-full, steady light of humanity in our White House and the thought of...that man...taking residence there where those two beautiful girls grew up, where their mother and father presided over this country as if they had been born to the task makes me want to puke.
Anyway, I filled out my ballot, darkening the circle perfectly beside Hillary Clinton's name, put it in the slot, returned the folder, got my sticker, and walked out of the building, my eyes filled with tears.

I spent some time in the little town which is the capitol city of our county and I went back and bought Lily the other set of the Corning Ware leftover containers at the Humane Society thrift store and wandered around a few other places, feeling lost and aimless. I wanted lunch but couldn't figure out what I wanted and even went into the place where they sell locally sourced everything and healthy everything and standing there at the counter and looking at all of the ladies who lunch, I just couldn't do it and walked out and ended up at a pizza joint that was almost empty and got a chicken salad sandwich AT THE PIZZA JOINT and it was decent enough and chicken salad is comfort food for me and I sat and ate it and read my New Yorker magazine and was grateful for the peace and the fact that someone else had made my food for me.

I came home and took a nap. A long nap. I slept and slept and slept deeply and when I woke up I did not feel much refreshed but it's just one of those days. I let it all go and did hardly anything productive but I did vote and I've done my minuscule part and and I am at peace with that.

Here. I just got this from Lily.


Maggie June in her magical unicorn costume. They are at a Halloween concert event in Tallahassee and all of the children are in their costumes. Look at that tender darling girl who is magical even in her very own bare skin. I look at that picture and my heart gets as melty and gooey as the chocolate sandwiched between graham crackers with a toasted marshmallow and sometimes, that's all you need. The melted heart, the recognition of tender magic, the acceptance that if nothing else, this is as much or more a part of your reality than anything else going on in this world and my god! what sweet peace there is in that.

Love...Ms. Moon

10 comments:

  1. Whenever I vote I am afraid I am going to accidentally tic off the wrong name and not notice.

    Magnolia is looking especially cute!

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    1. I had that same fear when I slipped my ballot into the machine, Birdie!
      Isn't Maggie adorable?

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  2. Yes. Look into Magnolia's sweet face and know that you've done your part to defeat the psychopathic cheeto.

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  3. I cannot wait for that moment when I vote. I need to do it early, too. Why wait? There are so few pleasures in this world and this is definitely going to be one of them.

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    1. Yes- why wait? Let's get this done!!!!!!

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  4. I finally got caught up. All of your grandchildren are just precious. I am happy that your friend got better than expected news. Oh and I voted too. Gail

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