Sometimes It Helps Just To Have A Name For Something

I am so close to getting that little bit of the yard cleared. I worked on it this afternoon and that part is almost all border grass which is really a bitch to pull. While I was on my knees, I looked up startled to see someone standing on the sidewalk right beside me- a neighbor I've seen around. He's a friendly guy and we talked for a minute. He told me that he pulls weeds and I took his name and number. His name is John Henry Johnson which I think is one of the finest names I've heard in a long time. I should call him for some help. I need it. I think I'm afraid that anyone I hire might inadvertently pull some of the plants I want to keep. It's not always as obvious as that bed in the picture above where I wanted it all cleared out. In some areas I have about four types of invasive plants and five types of wanted plants and although I know the difference, I know it's not as easy to define for some people. Mr. Moon never can tell what I want pulled and what I don't so he's tasked with things like mowing while I do the get-on-your-knees stuff. 

Harvey also walked by as I was working. He coughed so that he would not startle me and when I saw it was him and smiled, he told me that he'd done that on purpose. He's such a sweet soul. He said, "That's hard work!" and I said, "It's harder than it used to be."

All day it's felt like Sunday. I mean, I had to correct my thoughts on that matter at least twenty times. Days that feel like Sundays are not the best days. I don't seem to be having the horrendous Sundays I always used to have but I do not associate that particular day of the week with any sort of great joy. 
Yesterday I felt content, which in my world is tantamount to joy. I felt pretty okay about myself and my life and enjoyed the simple tasks I did. I also read an article in the NYT's that I've been thinking about ever since. The title of the piece was "That Lingering 'Meh' Feeling Has a Name." It was about something I'd never heard of but, as sometimes happens, I recognized myself in instantly. The subject of the article was persistent depressive disorder, also known as dysthymia.
Have YOU ever heard of that? I had not but as I read, it was like a light snapped on and I thought, "Whoa. That's me."
The symptoms of this disorder, as listed by the John's Hopkins website are these:

• Lasting sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
• Less ability to concentrate, think, and/or make decisions
• Less energy
• Fatigue
• Feeling hopeless
• Weight and/or appetite changes due to over- or under-eating
• Changes in sleep patterns, such as fitful sleep, inability to sleep, early morning awakening, or sleeping too much
• Low self-esteem
• And then this:

• To diagnose this condition, an adult must have a depressed mood for at least 2 years (or one year in children and adolescents), along with at least 2 of the above symptoms. The symptoms of this illness may look like other mental health conditions. Always talk with a healthcare provider for a diagnosis.
  
  Two years? Try sixty-nine years. Two of those symptoms? How about all? 
  One can have P.D.D. and still experience major clinical depression at the same time. One of the paragraphs in the NYT's article really caught my attention. A woman who had been diagnosed with it said, "Clinical depression 'knocks me out. I can't get out of bed, shower, eat, or walk my dog.' With dysthymia however, she can still function. She may not want to do the dishes, for example, but she 'won't feel obliterated' by the task."
  Later on, the article says, "Because P.D.D. can be long lasting- and does not always disrupt a patient's day-to-day life- those with the disorder may assume their their milder depressive symptoms are simply character traits."
  
  Wow. Yeah. Character traits like not being able to travel? Like being obsessively worried about following a regular routine? Like feeling that one is merely a burden to loved ones? Like being (oh so slightly) agoraphobic?  Like crying at the drop of a hat? 
  
  So yes, I've been thinking about all of this and really though, what does it mean? 
  I really don't know. I do know I'm on two different medications for depression and anxiety and I am sure they help because I have not had a major clinical depression or bout of intense anxiety in a long time.

• I'm writing about this because I think that many people probably suffer from it and you might recognize yourself in here. If so, please know that you are not alone and that there can be steps to take to help people escape this feeling of always being sad which takes away so much of our joy, our quality of life. The woman quoted in the article, Amanda Stern, has a newsletter called How To Live and if you go HERE, you can find more information on the disorder and how to possibly deal with it on a more informed level. 

• Thankfully, I am still very much able to find some enjoyment and satisfaction in my life. Yesterday was an example of that. 
  I count my blessings, one of which is camellias. 

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  Love...Ms. Moon

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