Today's camellias.
About three years ago I bought a really lovely dress that was on drastic sale in the Sundance catalog and wore it exactly once to go see Lon and Lis play. I came home, hung it up, Covid happened, and I never wore it again.
Until today.
I wore it to a funeral.
I surprised my husband by telling him this morning that I would go to the funeral of his hunting buddy's wife today. I know he did not expect me to go. Not only were there going to be many people there, it was in a church. An Episcopal church, to be exact.
I think the last church funeral I went to was also an Episcopal service but that was in Monticello. Episcopalians seem to be rather groovy people in that although they do have a lot of ceremony going on and use chalices and wear fancy robes and so forth, they don't appear to me to be very judgmental or hell and brimstoneish. I had a friend who was of that faith and he was funny as hell and a great guy, liberal and empathetic too. I heard him once say that Episcopalian churches didn't have evening services because they're all drunk by that time of the day.
That is probably a joke. Still- a religion that can joke is a good thing too.
So both Mr. Moon and I got dressed up. I even wore what passes for stockings. They may have been or they may have been tights. I have no idea. And real shoes! And that velvet dress. I put on make-up. It was as good as it can get for me these days.
We were late getting there, slipping in the door right as the bell-ringing portion of the service started. The church was full and we ended up being directed to sit in the third row from the front and there were no people in the first two rows on that side so we had an unobstructed view of the proceedings.
It was a long service with many Bible verses and prayers, speaking by the family members, the priest's sermon, and hymns. And they also did communion wherein everyone in the church could walk down the aisle, get bread from the priest, and then walk over to the guy with the chalice of wine to either dip their bread in or sip from. If they wanted. And if you didn't want to do any of those things, you could cross your arms in front of your chest and the priest would just give you a blessing. Also, he assured us that we did not have to be Episcopalian to participate because he believes that Jesus loves us all. That was a nice touch.
Glen and I did not sing, we did not say the Bible verses, we did not make the responses, we did not kneel. And needless to say, we did not get in line for the blood and body of Christ or the blessing.
But overall, it was a good service, I guess, and I don't think I embarrassed my husband which was my main goal. I even kept the eye-rolling to a minimum because we were directly in front of the priest as he sermonized. And we were there for Glen's friend and the children.
I am so glad that my husband is with me on the religion thing. At one point today during a prayer, I wondered what I would do if he suddenly because a believer. These things do happen. I just don't think I could deal with it if he did.
Anyway, we're home now, both of us changed out of our fancy clothes and back into our overalls, comfortable and glad to be. The martini glasses are in the freezer, clean sheets are on the bed, greens are cooking on the stove. The frogs are singing with true joy in the swamp behind the house and somehow, I feel closer to whatever the powers that be in the universe are right here on my back porch than I did in that church today. This is not a surprise.
May reported this morning that they were feeling pretty shitty. Michael's throat was very sore and May had a terrible headache. Rachel asked for a grocery list and May gave her one. Rachel is a jewel.
And so it has gone today. I did not cause the beautiful old church where the service was held to be struck by lightening by my presence and I did not bust out laughing at the way white people drone their parts in church as if they were robots, even when the words they are flatlining are words of joy and celebration. And don't get me started on the way we sing hymns. Basically, it sounds like, "How many more verses of this can there possibly be?"
Here's the puzzle I just finished last night.
I haven't entered a church of ANY kind in many years....the last time was a catholic wedding of a dear friend 40 yrs ago that was about the most dismal and somber event I've ever been too...could have been a funeral, it was so somber. Oh wait....I did go to our local catholic church for another wedding 25 years ago.....Father Ed (now retired and quite the man about town here) bless his *alternative* (gay) heart.....and that one was awesome wedding........But....I'm glad you went today.....respect for the family is tantamount..... good for you both! And now...on to martini's and clean sheets. Sorry May and Michael are so under the weather.....may they improve SOON!
ReplyDeleteSusan M
PS as always....your camillias are to die for......
ReplyDeleteSusan M
I haven't set foot in a 'regular' church in decades and have NO plans to. I'm a Unitarian Universalist. A church that is not scripture based. In fact, I've never seen a bible around the place. The old joke amongst Unitarians is the only time you hear a Unitarian minister say "Jesus Christ" is when he stumbles going up to the altar. I was married in this church (to a man thank you). The last 2 ministers have been gay. Nicest, best educated and most giving people I've ever been around. OK. Enough of that religion stuff. Your camellias are just awesome!
ReplyDeleteParanormal John
I can't remember the last time I was in a church, but the important thing for you was to honor Glenn's friend. And as you said, that's what happened and nothing disagreeable happened to either of you. I hope your May and her Michael recover soon, and thank goodness for Rachel.
ReplyDeleteI hope another reason comes up to wear your wonderful dress. It sounds as if its airing could make the world a brighter place.
I am with you all the way on the religion thing. When you are amongst them it's easy to feel that you are surrounded by aliens from a different planet. What I would really like to know is - what was the deceased woman's first name and how old was she and how did she die?
ReplyDeleteP.S. That is a very odd jigsaw!
Good for you, attending the church for the right reason, to respect the family's feelings. And for surviving it!
ReplyDeleteWhere three or four Episcopalians are gathered, there is a fifth.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for supporting Glen's friend.
ReplyDeleteI'm truly proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone to support Glen by going to the funeral of his friend's wife. I know it probably meant a lot to him knowing how hard those type things are for you. I like to joke that I'm such a homebody that you'd think I was on house arrest. But I actually did a similar thing tonight and attended our neighbor's annual xmas party. I haven't been in 3 yrs. In '20 and '21 she didn't have it bc of covid and then last yr I had covid. So I was determined to go this year although I had to put on my big girl panties and take half a Xanax but I went, it was fun and I survived! So good for us! I'm all peopled out now and look forward to the rainy day predicted tomorrow to just stay inside, cook some white bean chicken chili, bake some xmas cookies and finish wrapping presents. That's my plan anyway.
ReplyDeleteAngie D
I'm glad you went though it sounds like a very long service. You do find the most interesting jigsaw puzzles.
ReplyDeleteThe puzzle is a goodie, congratulations. As for church, I am with you , like Christ. I always thought that that notion was really creepy… Christ being with you always, even in the bathroom. The church that I slipped into here also offered a blessing for those refusing the Jesus snack…that is something new to me. God job getting dressed up. Not sure I could pull that off. Glad you made it through that little blip.
ReplyDeleteLinda sue here
DeleteWe're in total agreement regarding religion, I think. And I too often wonder what it would be like to have a partner that became a believer. We have friends who are split. She is not necessarily a believer but she was raised Catholic and does whatever she was raised to do. He is a strongly principled atheist. It does cause some problems, especially when it came to not baptising their daughter. Anyway, good for you for getting dressed up and out. That looks like a fun puzzle.
ReplyDeletei loved disassociating at mass the entire 12 years i taught parochial school. once i got my class trained when to stand, sit, kneel and cross i was golden. i am sorry on the passing of your darling husband's friend's spouse and hope your kiddos are feeling better soon. xxalainaxx
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Don's friend appreciated your attendance.
ReplyDeleteThe Cepacol cough drops are strong tasting but they do numb the sore throat so put that on Rachel's shopping list. Hope Michael and May feel better soon.
Well, a lot of hymns ARE way too long. I can only stomach a couple of hymns, "Jerusalem" and "Morning Has Broken" among them.
ReplyDeleteI went to an Episcopalian church for several years when I lived in New York (mainly in a vain attempt to find a husband) and although I appreciated the liberal theology, it ultimately wasn't for me. That's when I went Zen, and then nothing. I might go back to something someday, who knows? Never say never. But like you I've often wondered what I would do if Dave went religious. He comes from a very religious family and I'm not sure I would deal with it very well, at least not if he followed their brand of right-wing Christianity.
Anyway, I'm glad you went to the funeral. I'm sure Mr Moon appreciated your presence and it was probably good for you as well. We all need to put on our velvet dresses now and then.
I went to a Methodist chapel last month. it was rather touching even though not my scene. I've been learning about English church organs and non conformist chapels often have very good ones so I really appreciated the organ, and enjoyed listening to it being played.
ReplyDelete