But It's Always The Water, Isn't It?

Phew. What an afternoon. We did go look at that house and I so wanted not to like it because...well, that is very complicated and I may discuss that further later on here. But overall, as you know well, anything that disrupts my life is something to be feared. Not just avoided but feared. And avoided. And buying another house that we would only use for fun and family gatherings sounds to me like a beautiful thing and at the same time, a thing to be sore afraid of. 

As it says in the Bible. 

Add to that the fact that this house is very large and newish and to me, very fancy, and you have a bit of a meltdown/breakdown situation. 

So no. I did not want to like it. Inside I have been fuming because Mr. Moon knew I said that I did not want a house in that location. I have passed by that area for eons and never once have I thought, "I sure would love to have a house here."

It's miles from a grocery store. As in- many, many miles. It's on the bay, not the ocean. It's right by a highway. It's...well. I don't know. I just never considered it. 

But I promised I would go look at it. That is only fair. And so he took me there today and I have to say that it is a beautiful house. Absolutely. There are things about it that I am not in love with. It does not appear that it's built to have open windows which, if you're on the coast especially, is something I consider to be of utmost importance. Why live on the water if you can't smell and feel the air when it's cool enough or warm enough to open it up? 
Another thing is that it's pretty big. As in four bedrooms and three? four? bathrooms. An open kitchen and living room and sunroom floor plan. 

Which I used to think was pretty cool but then I realized one day that having an open floor plan meant that I'd be trying to cook dinner while sports were on the TV just a few yards away. Still- look how pretty. And the floors are gorgeous oak, the cabinets finely made of pecan, the countertops some sort of marble-like substance. 

The people selling the house are quite old. One of them is dying. And the family does not want to have to deal with all of the things in the house which means that it comes as is. I think. Which is sort of cool- towels! sheets! dishes! and so forth but when I tell you that every drawer and every cabinet is filled with things, I am not lying. There is an overabundance of things in this house. Whoever decorated it never met a surface or wall she did not want to cover. And some of the things on surfaces and walls are not bad, artistic-wise. But others are just ridiculous overflow. I swear it has as many pictures on the wall as a museum. And most of the pictures are not bad! But then there are so many other things which I am sure much money was spent on at coastal decorating shops. 

But who am I to judge? I hang aprons on the wall and Christmas lights that have been up for a decade. Dolls from different countries and pictures galore that my grandchildren have made. 

But. 

It is a beautiful house. 

And then I started exploring the outside of the house and my heart sort of melted. 

There is jungle on the lot which acts as buffer to the houses next door and to the highway. 

Oaks and scrub oaks. Magnolias and palmettos. Palm trees and old, old pines. 

That oak is directly behind the house on the water. 

And speaking of water.

Although it's hard to see, that's Dog Island off in the distance. And from that dock we could swim and I imagine that dolphins probably come in right there and we saw pelicans and heard gulls and Mr. Moon saw mullet jump from the shore. Hell, there's probably bears in the jungle. 

Okay. I am overwhelmed with emotions. I realized on our way home that part of my problem with this house is that I formed my opinions of what a house should be in Roseland where my granny and granddaddy lived in a tiny cabin. Nothing fancy in the least. But a river across the white sand road and nature all around. I guess that funk and simplicity became beautiful to me in my childhood. Meanwhile, my husband who grew up not in poverty but certainly not in wealth, dreamed of growing up and playing in the NBA and buying mansions for himself and for his parents. 
Such different images of beauty and success. 

Well. Here's the deal- Mr. Moon has not yet done all of his due diligence which involves a great deal of research and work. He's done a lot, but not all. We would have to figure out things like screening in windows and part of the back deck that overlooks the bay. We have to figure out whether the kids would enjoy staying there. It's a few miles from the beautiful beaches at St. George but a hell of a lot closer than Tallahassee. Would that work? Could I find something to do there that would make me happy beyond cooking and doing laundry? How much work would it take to get rid of some of the busy-ness of the walls and surfaces? And cabinets? And drawers? 

I think of the little sideboard at Dog Island that has a drawer and two cabinets. The drawer has napkins that were there when we bought it, homemade and never hemmed but absolutely utilitarian. We filled the top of the sideboard with shells and pottery and driftwood we found on the beach. The cabinet on the left held the liquor, some of it from over twenty years ago when we bought it. And here's what the equivalent, I guess, in what this house looks like. 

This ain't Funky Town, y'all. 

I used to say "things will unfold as they should" but then I got older and things happened that should not have happened, I don't care what anyone says. BUT. Sometimes you just have to think that they will. Trust that they will? 

And even just contemplating this purchase has revealed quite a bit to me about myself and that alone is worth the sturm und drang I've been going through about it all. I doubt that my husband would agree but here we are. 

To be continued. 

Love...Ms. Moon