I woke up this morning around dawn and thought, "Gee. I do not feel good." I went back to sleep and next thing I knew it was almost ten and my husband had come to check on me to see if I was still breathing. I was. Not only was I breathing, I was having one of the worst dreams of my life. It was one of my dreams where my husband has left me, I don't know how I'm going to take care of my children, and my home is completely filled with things I need desperately to get rid of, including baby clothes and toys that I've somehow forgotten to give away and in this dream, there were also many things I'd made and embroidered years before that I looked at in wonder, having forgotten I'd made them and the clutter- oh! the clutter. An entire upstairs of clutter and the downstairs even worse including the Christmas tree that always seems to stand in as a symbol of things that I am responsible to get rid of. On top of all of that, I had been completely paralyzed with some sort of mental illness and could not even manage to brush my hair or get dressed and I needed to feed my children and I could not cook nor did I know if I even had any food.
So, yes. Combine a day of junk-and-treasure shopping, a vaccination reaction, and probably a fever and you get your usual neurosis nightmare on steroids. The whole mental illness thing was a completely new and horrendous addition to the already terrifying dreamscape. But also interesting as I truly did go through some difficult times with depression and anxiety while my children were younger although I never got to the point where I absolutely could not function as a mother.
So I cried a little as I was waking up and my husband held me and we agreed that we both felt fairly shitty and we laughed at how useless we were.
But it wasn't horrible. Our arms ache at the injection site and we're very, very slow but we've managed to move about some, he doing some repairs and me a little laundry and sweeping, and I watered the porch plants. One of my begonias is blooming and it's such a sweet bloom even though this is a lousy picture.
Thursday, May 19, 2022
Gracious A La Vida And Chicken Pot Pies, Too
The pink of the little flowers is as pale as a Kewpie doll's cheeks but in real life, they are a delight. I also discovered that one of my small succulents is sending out a bloom and that the ginger root I put in some dirt to see if it would sprout has indeed finally, after I'd almost given up, a shoot coming up. This is grocery store ginger and I've never, for some reason, planted any before so I am excited about that.
When I shopped on Monday, I bought two frozen chicken pot pies in case I did not feel like cooking after our vaccinations and I am patting myself on the back for that. It's sort of a ritual for us to have frozen chicken pot pies after some sort of dental or medical thing and we laugh about it and we do enjoy them. So there will be no real cooking and I plan on going to bed early, even though I did sleep for eleven hours last night. I laid down on my bed this afternoon and read a New Yorker magazine from the Guilt Pile (as a book I just read referred to the issues not gotten to yet) and one of the articles was about a Brazilian musician named Caetano Velosa who is extremely famous but whom I'd never heard of and that sent me down a Youtube wormhole that lead to another singer, Mercedes Sosa, and a video of her singing Gracious A La Vida with Joan Baez and I thought about the wonders of living in a time where I can so directly access information and performances so instantly and although I think that the internet may end up being the death of us all, there are miracles to be considered there, one of them which is surely being able to lie on one's bed watching the beautiful face and listening to the beautiful voice of a woman I'd never heard of in my entire life until the crazy-ass, internet led me there.
And Joan Baez, too.
So. That is that. Tomorrow I plan to be ALL WELL so that I can pick up August and Levon from their schools and tend to them until their daddy gets off work. We may not be doing any diet coke and mentos experiments and we may be watching a few too many videos but who cares?
Love...Ms. Moon
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Mercedes Sosa is one of my favorite singers! I was listening to a program last Sunday about Chilean singer Violeta Para who wrote the song "Gracias a la Vida" and was one of the founders of the new music movement.
ReplyDeleteActually, I am Kristin
DeleteHard to shake those dreams off, isn't it? Enjoy the boys tomorrow, just what you need!
ReplyDeleteI really should get another booster before I do a show, but I hate the thought of being incapacitated. Time's running out, though. I better do it soon.
ReplyDeleteI found Mercedes Sosa by accident. What a voice! Yes, it's a marvel to be able to just get to see and hear all kinds of talent.
ReplyDeleteI hear you about the nightmare. All the worst things you can think of happening all at once. I find the worst are the incapable ones, where you can't think or function and people depend on you. I'm glad you had nice company to wake up to, anyway.
That second booster kicked my butt too. I was so surprised because I had not reaction to any of the others.
ReplyDeleteFeeling unwell sucks. I went for my shockwave treatment this afternoon and cried from the pain and then just cried. I think my endometritis is back.
ReplyDeleteThat woman, Mercedes Sosa, wow, what an amazing voice. I do find the internet to be an amazing place. Hope you're feeling better tomorrow.
Oh my goodness, that voice! Thank you for sharing that video - I had never known of Mercedes Sosa. Will be going down that wormhole tomorrow...
ReplyDeleteChris from Boise
And catching up from a few days ago, I second Ellen D's recommendation of "West with Giraffes" by Lynda Rutledge.
DeleteChris from Boise (again)
You'll definitely be feeling better tomorrow, this seems to be a one day only reaction, at least for myself and everyone I know here. I try to avoid YouTube because I know once I listen to "just one thing" I'll be there for hours. HOURS!
ReplyDeleteI tried to grow ginger once, didn't work. I'm looking forward to pictures of yours when it flowers.
Sorry you're having a reaction and dramatic dreams! I've heard Joan Baez sing that song live (though not with Mercedes Sosa) and I also read that Caetano Veloso article -- very interesting! I was introduced to his music by the movie "Frida" back in 2002 -- he's one of the performers of the song "Burn it Blue" from the movie. (It's a GREAT movie if you haven't seen it.)
ReplyDeleteI was reluctant to get my second booster. It just seemed like 4 shots in less than a year and a half was a little excessive but my PC said to go ahead and get it especially since we were going to be in an auditorium full of people for an event. Anyway I got mine last week. Sore arm and then that night a little achy and chills til I took some ibuprofen and the next day I was fine.
ReplyDeleteI might try growing grocery store ginger. My cone flower ginger that you sent me is coming up.
Sorry to hear you weren't feeling well and hope that clears up real quickly! I know your determined to spend time with August and Levon so that will help you get better. That was a wonderful video with beautiful voices! Thanks for sharing that!
ReplyDeleteSleep can do wonders can't it. Hope you're feeling better now. And yes you're right, that is a beautiful song sung by two wonderful singers! Another one to add to my Amazon Music playlist!
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing like a day off, even if on feels a bit "off". Thanks so much for that video of two beautiful women making wonderful music.
ReplyDeletewow, that DID sound like a dream/nightmare on steroids. When one is unwell (as you were as a result of the booster) this brings some of the most unwelcome and disturbing dreams. A hug and a quiet day...and pot pie hopefully helped you get a better nights sleep last night. Your begonia is a delicate thing! I can't grow them here, too arid.
ReplyDeleteSusan M
That dream! Just everything and the kitchen sink thrown in there. I’ve had dreams like that. I’m glad you got the chicken pot pies and let yourselves move slowly through the day.
ReplyDelete37P left that comment above btw. Forgot to ID myself.
ReplyDelete