My heart is very, very full this evening and in such a good way. I had an opportunity to meet two people who immediately felt incredibly familiar and there was so much about them which was gracious and good.
And besides that, meeting them gave me an opportunity to be even more grateful for this place where I live which is a sort of paradise, even with the funkiness, the chicken poop, the not-to-be-denied state of things around here which could be kindly described as "lived in."
I have often said that this old house is my dream house and I'm not joking. It offers such solace to me, such a feeling of stability and of comfort and even of stately, if faded, beauty.
And the love I have for this yard is no secret. For the house I can take no credit- it has stood in one form or another for one hundred and fifty seven years. And of course, the oaks which are part of my strength and my constant state of awe, are far older than that but I have added to this yard. I have tended it. I have respected it and observed what might be planted here and then there to thrive and I have set chickens free on it to run and scratch, I have played with grandchildren on it, I have shown them some things about nature and the growing of plants that they would not have known had I not lived here.
I am proud of that and more than proud- I am so damn happy every day that not only do I get to live here but that I get to reap the benefits of it all.
Here's my blooming native azalea which I planted and I cannot get a good picture of it, no matter how hard I try. It's as if when presented with its colors, the camera does not know how to respond. I remember when Kathleen and I went to Tallahassee for the Goodwood plant sale years ago and I bought this and brought it home and planted it. I know I talk about these things a lot but here's the honest truth- I feel as if in this house I have finally found a home. The house I lived in for many of my childhood years looked fine from the outside and there was a woman who came and cleaned every week and my mother was obsessive about cleaning the windows but the things that went on inside of it were the things that bred fear and worry and anxiety. At least in me.
So to live here in a house which has sheltered so many lives for so many years and where the things I have planted are beautiful and responsive to my care and which provide us with food and with flowers and with a peaceful and graceful place to be is a sort of miracle. To have grandchildren who love to visit and who have an entire history since birth of being happy here is another.
And today I got to share some of that with two new friends and I was glad.
On my walk this morning I took this picture:
And I do. My blessing is all of the blessings.
And I know how boring I am, talking about this stuff so often.
But I tell you- I am struck with wonder about it all every day.
Every day of my life.
I'll find something to bitch about tomorrow. I promise. The possibilities are endless.
"Count your blessing" has the ring of a koan.ReplyDelete
Sounds like a very special connection was made today in a very special place.ReplyDelete
It was wonderful, the best part of a sad trip to a funeral. I have always felt an incredible connection to you form this blog, and an even more of intense connection after meeting you. I will cherish each egg you gave us, from your beloved hens. It truly is a dream house. We are home safe. Love GailReplyDelete
You are so far from boring. You weave your words.ReplyDelete
I never find your posts boring. I learn something from them each day, laugh, always, nod my head in solidarity and just otherwise fall a little bit more in love with you and the whole shebang.ReplyDelete
It's good to talk about our appreciation for our blessings. More people should do it, and more often.ReplyDelete
Never underestimate the power of repetition.ReplyDelete
oh gosh Mary, I could have written this post. the house, the yard, the kids, the grandkids. my 150 year old house that I lived in and nurtured for 40 years. leaving that house, that yard where more than half my life happened was so hard, traumatic even. I brought as much of it with me as I could. I'd have brought the house if I could and the guy that bought it would have saved it but he couldn't find a single house mover willing to try it (trees and power lines in the way). it's gone now.ReplyDelete
It is not a small thing to have found a home!ReplyDelete
I love that you enjoy your home so much. And I am looking forward to you bitching about something tomorrow - there is always something interesting going on in your mind.ReplyDelete
You discribe your home so warm that it sounds like the most true home ever :) It's pleasure to feel your kindness.ReplyDelete