Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Act II, Scene III

Well, it would appear that I am not heading into a new career as a barmaid. Barmatron?

The story goes something like this:
A few months ago a fellow approached Mr. Moon about renting part of the plaza to build a pool hall and sports bar. This was exciting news as we needed tenants. However, the fellow never followed up with so much as a phone call so Mr. Moon decided that opening a bar was not a bad idea and that we could do it ourselves. And so he started, as you know, doing the research, tearing out walls, making plans, contacting carpenters and electricians and spending time down at the city getting code information, etc. Full steam ahead, no holds barred.

And then one day the fellow who had first approached Mr. Moon about the idea of a bar showed back up.

"Stole my idea, eh?" he asked Mr. Moon who was covered in white dust and wielding a sledge hammer.

"You never called back," said Mr. Moon.

Well, it turns out that Original Fellow had been doing feasibility studies and so forth while Mr. Moon had taken a look around and made the decision that a bar was feasible and then grabbed his tools and set to work.

But Original Fellow was still interested. Very, very interested. And he had partners. And they wanted to open a bar and well, it looks like we're going to be landlords instead of bar owners, which really, was the original intent of building the plaza.

But they want to hire Mr. Moon to contract the build-out, which is good. I guess they admire his work-ethic.

So. I guess we're on to Plan B.

There's a part of us which is somewhat disappointed. We were sort of excited at the idea of having a family business. But there's also the fact that opening a business like that takes a hell of a lot of work and energy and long hours that stretch into the night and frankly, Mr. Moon and I like to be asleep by eleven p.m. at the latest.

But there's still no contract in place and we've learned through the years that what looks like a sure-thing can dissolve quickly into a surely-not thing so who knows?

And thus, life goes on. I've got another part in another play and this one- well, it's a different sort of play altogether. It's an "interactive murder mystery" which purports to have elements of Hitchcock and The Postman Always Rings Twice in it but which to me sounds more absurd than anything. Instead of playing five characters I'll only be playing one- a psychopathic assassin named Natasha and yes, there is a Boris. Strangely enough, no Rocky or Bullwinkle though. I'm not exactly sure why I'm doing this except that it gets me out of the house, forces me to use my brain, and as I've said so many times before, lets me play. I am not at all good at playing on my own, so being not only allowed but sort of required to play is a good thing for me. Plus I think there may be an opportunity here for a really fun costume and a LOT of make-up. And I'll be walking around for the next few months talking in a fake Russian accent which can only be fun, fun, fun! right?

This weekend we are taking the play we did last month over to Milton to perform there. Click on the picture above to read all about it. I'm the old lady in the pink sweater and if you could see that sweater in a close-up, you'd drive all the way to Milton just to see it in person. I swear!
I can't really believe we're going to pull all those costumes out of the closet and put them on again, say those lines again, do that play again.

But we are. Twice.

Which reminds me, I better go through my lines again before rehearsal tonight because baby, I have a mind like a steel sieve.

And that's the news today. No philosophizing or meditating on the higher meaning of spring. No politics, no ranting, no poetry. No metaphors and no point, for that matter. No mention of Jennifer Lopez's ass, no funny blather about kissin' de boys or smokin' de dope.

Just bloggity, blog, blog, as I have come to say and I think that my stop is coming up so let me gather my bags and my coat. Enjoy the rest of your ride.

We'll talk more tomorrow. Perhaps about my new career as an ACTOR in the THEATER!

Pass ze vodka, dahlink, and I will make you ze potato zoup.


  1. I have to admit, I'm really pretty disappointed. But I know this is better for y'all.

    And have fun doing the play again!

  2. Yeah, if you like being in bed by 11, the bar biz is probably not for you. Better to be on the other side of the bar, where you get your drinks and go home when you feel like it.
    The play sounds fun. Let me know if you need any pointers on playing the pyschopath...

  3. I know, DTG. I know. I'm sorry. Unless the deal doesn't go through and then- well- back to Plan A.

    Rachel- Agreed. And thanks, but I'm pretty sure I have plenty of practice in the psycho department.

  4. Hey, 'tis many a slip twixt cup and lip. No big deal.

  5. I am gone a few days and you have a Russian accent and you are talking about Jennifer Lopez's ass. I need to get over here more often. I hope the bar biz works out for you better as a landlord. My friends and I discussed opening a bar but to make it work you have to work really late and really long, and I am like you nowadays thinking 11 pm is a darn good time to go to bed. Hope things go well for you as you take your play on the road.

  6. You are in a play!! That is so very cool, I saw a mention of your acting before and am excited to hear about this process. You are kind of amazing.

  7. I can see you getting discovered by a Hollywood agent sooner or later - like the woman who played Martin Sheen's secretary in West Wing and now has a recurring role on Desperate Housewives plus does commercial. I think her name may be Kathryn Joop? Hollywood is always looking for good character actresses, women who can play someone their own age convincingly because they haven't had multiple bad face lifts (I'm thinking of Jessica Lange, right now.) And, I'll be able to say I knew you when!

  8. DTG- Leave it to you (and we so often do) to find the perfect words. Love you, baby boy.

    Mr. Shife- Well, if you google Jennifer Lopez's ass, my blog is one of the things that'll turn up. I believe it brings more people here than any other thing. And yes- running a bar sounds like fun but really? I'm not so sure.

    Maggie May- Amazing? Ah, more like subnormal. But thank-you.

    MOB- Yes, and I'm going to win the lottery too.

  9. God, I think there are few things WORSE than being a bar-owner! My mom owns one; of course, given that you have red my recent post, that is probalby no surprise, right? Ha ha. I would love the initial getting-it-off-the-ground part, but not so much the rest. I loved the pink sweater, BTW. Very chic. :)

  10. I've always wanted to go to one of those interactive murder mystery theater shows. It sounds like fun!

  11. I agree with Kori... the bar biz looks real glam from a distance, but it's hard on the body and the soul... not to mention the legs and the nerves. yikes1 Hope plan B works out well. That Mr. Moon... He is somethin!

    Still enjoying the V. surprise zuppa! So good in winter weather.

  12. Kori- I think you are probably correct. Except about that sweater. It is SO not chic.

    GingerMagnolia- We shall see how much fun it turns out to be.

    Petit Fleur- And you should know. Hey! Guess what? I made more soup!

  13. 'tis better to collect the rent than mop the floor.

  14. Especially if it's the floor of a ladies room where some young thang lost her beer the wrong way.


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