Sunday, September 12, 2021

Date Night Sure Doesn't Mean What It Used To


When the boys took their baths last night, they decided to use a brush on each other to gently scratch backs and then they proceeded to arms. They sighed with the delight of it all. 
I always say that we have no idea how itchy our backs are until someone scratches them for us. And are we not primates? Do we not love to have someone brush our hair? And is that not grooming? 
We should all groom each other more. Society would be a much more friendly and relaxed place if we did. It's so funny how we humans are always so delighted and amazed when great apes or other animals learn to do something that humans do whether it's use sign language or wash dishes but I think it would be great if we could learn to adopt some of their habits. I mean- just think how much better life would be if we tried a few of the Bonobo's methods of mediating arguments and diffusing tension. (Note: They are known as the erotic apes. For a reason.) 
But we could just start with scratching backs and rubbing shoulders. But only with permission! Okay? Not appropriate to approach a stranger or coworker and suddenly begin any sort of tactile connection, no matter how well-intended! 
Actually, it's not even appropriate with family members unless there is a well-established custom of this. 
Meanwhile, we pay for massages and for getting our hair shampooed, for pedicures and manicures. We call it all "pampering" and in the case of massages we call them "therapeutic" but they can all be therapeutic in their ways. 
Touch. Touch is good. IF APPROPRIATE! 

So yes, we had a good date night with our grandsons. Jessie told me that before they came out yesterday Levon said, "You're going to leave, right? You're really going to leave?" 
They do love to spend the night with Mer and Bop. This morning I asked August if he missed his parents. 
"Not really," he said in his serious August way. 
Those boys.

We spoiled them. They got the choice of pie or purple cows but they wanted both so we gave them a little bit of both. They were so happy. 

And they made me proud, the way they ate their chicken and dumplings. They weren't even too crazy or wild at bath time and got out when I asked them to. Pajamas were not fought nor was teeth-brushing. And then we read stories. When I told them it was time to get in bed, they did. And I kissed them good-night and turned out the light and I'm sure they were asleep within two minutes. 

Unfortunately, Levon woke up at his regular time which is about six a.m. 
Oh Lord. 
"Is it time to get up?" he whispered to me. 
"No!" I said. "It's still dark. Come get in bed with me." 
And so he did and I cuddled him up. "Are you cozy?" I asked him. 
"Yes," he said. 
"Are you comfy?" 

And he tried so hard not to wiggle or wriggle or talk or anything and I tried so hard to go back to sleep but it just really didn't work out too well. I'd drift down, down, down, and then he'd move a limb or change his snuggle position and I'd come back up from the depths. Boppy finally got up and went to his chair. He'd been up until quarter of one, watching an FSU football game and was not happy to be bumped and jiggled by a wiggling boy. But Levon and I stuck it out until August woke up about 7:30 at which point I told them they could go see Boppy which they knew meant he would let them watch TV while he slept a little more and I went back to sleep and slept so late that I am too embarrassed to tell you when I got up. 
Boppy had just gotten them a snack of crackers and peanut butter and juice so they had not perished from hunger and I got busy making pancakes and soon we were all back at the table again. Levon had decided the night before that he wanted to sit at the big table, not in the high chair, and at breakfast he did. Which mostly breaks my heart.

And oh well, here's his brother, who, when I took Levon's picture said, "Why didn't you take a picture of me?"

"Hold on there, big boy," I said. And then I did. 

While we ate breakfast, they wanted to play a game which is related to "Animal, Mineral, or Vegetable" that they call "Dead or Alive". 
It was hysterical. 
My favorite parts were when Levon was certain that an answer was "a crab" and asked "Is it a crab?!" about four times, and, when I was thinking of a deck of cards and had given the hint that what I was thinking of had pictures, August said, "A cave!" which is so cool because some caves do have pictures in them. 
Smart boys. 

After breakfast they got to help Boppy work on the never-to-be-finished model car a little bit. 

Books were read, and toys were played with. 

Then Mama and Daddy came and Mr. Moon and Vergil went back out into the woods and Jessie took those boys home. Mr. Moon is still not back and I have a little venison roast in the oven with some carrots and onions and potatoes and lots of garlic. My kitchen should smell wonderful but mostly it smells like tea tree oil and rosemary and something else indefinable to me because I had to use the Biorganic spray for ants. We've got the little black ants coming in one place to swarm right beside the stove. Here's a picture of my spoon rest which obviously did not get cleaned well after breakfast. 

Yes. My spoon rests are ancient pieces of whelk shells that I found on the beach and they work beautifully and are dishwasher safe. This one obviously should have gone in the dishwasher. 
Little fuckers. 
The only place I'm seeing them is right there beside the stove and I think they're coming up between it and the tiny piece of counter beside it. 

And now I see that my dishwasher (speaking of dishwashers) has an error message and the water hasn't drained and that probably means that just trying to clear it out by hand isn't going to have to work and Mr. Moon is going to have to bring in that thing he hooks up to the drain line and does something with which makes it go, "Blllllpppp" and then drain. 

Sigh and sigh again. I know he's going to be thrilled about that when he finally makes it in from the woods, soaked with sweat, exhausted, and hungry. 

It's not easy being him but no one else has volunteered for the job so I guess he's stuck with it. 
I sure am glad he is. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Such a sweet, lovely read this Sunday evening! I always look forward to your blog posting!

    1. Thank you, Marcia. And I have to tell you that every time I see or write your name I think, "Mar-see-a."

  2. With I guess the heat and rain this year I've had tons of ants mostly around the stove. I spray with lemon juice and vinegar, because it's safe around food. The slightest little scrap suddenly has swarms of them alk over. Fortunately they don't bite back. Unlike the masses of mosquitoes, more than ever since the flooding. Can't sit out and read. Tried. Defeated quickly.

    1. The little ants are just such pests. And they can get into closed containers. I have to keep my peanut butter in the refrigerator because they'll breach that lid like it wasn't there. Our little black ones do bite. It's not a bad bite but it's a sharp little sting.
      To hell with mosquitoes. I am sorry they are tormenting you.

  3. Date night might look a little different this week but oh the sweetness of those boys. Swoon.

    1. They are pretty sweet little guys. And always interesting.

  4. More little boy love from here, too.
    I call those little fellas sugar ants; they come in for what they want and leave by the same route; a coming and going highway. Of course, mine aren't bred and born in Florida. Those don't look like one mouthful and skedaddle for home.

    1. We call ours sugar ants too and like I said in my reply to Boud, they can get into anything and will do. Do yours bite?

  5. That is the best date i can think of. and the boys were tired enough to go to bed. Miracle. I think I see a wee baby arm on top of your kitchen Queen...Weirdo!

  6. Caves! What a terrific answer. I love how little minds are so unencumbered. Anything seems possible to them, and their ever-nimble brains allow them to conjure up the most inventive answers. I probably wouldn't have thought of "caves" as an answer even if the clue was "where bears hibernate." We grown folks seem to get stuck in our everyday world of what we know and experience. Little ones believe that it's all still possible.

    1. I thought that caves was a brilliant answer. And I knew exactly why he said it, too. You're right about adults having narrower minds in many ways than children. They haven't set up the guardrails yet, have they?

  7. We have very persistent urban ants here. They are tough guys and don't give up easily and I have had so many more this rainy summer.
    I remember when our grandchildren informed us that they sat in regular chairs. I was sad and happy at the same time.

    1. I guess ants are everywhere and for that we should be thankful as our world would not exist without them. Or at least that's what I heard some famous entomologist say.
      Yes. I think I got that high chair before I had grandchildren and we are. The youngest no longer wants to sit in it. People always warn you about your kids growing up too fast but grandchildren seem to grow twice as fast.

  8. Sounds like a wonderful time except for Levon losing his high chair. Funny how we celebrate one minute and cry the next.

  9. I think you're right about the human need to touch. My boys used to sit by my feet when I was on the sofa watching TV so I would run my fingers through their hair (which I loved doing of course). And when my brother's wife died very suddenly a couple of years ago he said one of the things he missed the most was having "permission" to touch someone!

    1. I can imagine how much I would miss that touch too. That is truly one of the most beautiful things about a relationship- the possibility of touch is always there.

  10. Well of COURSE they wanted both! Give a kid a choice between pie and a purple cow and what else are they going to say? :)

    I love your point about primates. It's true that we instinctively enjoy that touch. I used to love having my hair cut just because it felt good. That last happened about 30 years ago! Dave gives me head rubs though.

    Those are the tiniest little ants I've ever seen.

    1. Kids are not stupid, are they?
      Pie or purple cow! BOTH!
      I'm glad that Dave gives you head rubs. That is sweet of him. Sometimes August brushes my hair when I read to them and I love that more than I can say.
      Those are tiny little ants but they can sting.

  11. I don't ever get those little ants but a few times I've opened one of the cabinets to see it full of big ants, tree ant size. I take that back, I did have a bunch of little ants once that were getting into the cabinet through the seam between the side and the bottom. a little caulk took care of that entrance.

    That August is something else. and of course you spoiled them, that's what grandparents are for.

    1. and I meant to add that touch is essential for babies to develop a healthy psyche. they skin to skin and rubbing and touching. and we don't really grow out of that need for physical affection and I'm not talking about sex or sexual stimulation. we are primates but as usual we think we are better than our cousins.

    2. Those ants of yours weren't nearly as persistent as ours can be. If you block one entrance place, they'll just find another. Little fuckers.
      And yes, of course grandparents must spoil their babies!
      Isn't it funny how we think we're so different and so much better than our cousins? Humans have to be the most egocentric species on earth.

  12. lovely post all around and those boys are just so gorgeous (and smart) I can barely stand it. Will only whisper that so far, no ants here yet this year..... hope they don't read this and prove me wrong. Pain in the butt they are when they are in the kitchen
    Susan M

    1. Ants are a constant annoyance around here. We've already had to put little ant traps in the pantry.

  13. I agree that Grooming feels luxurious when someone else is doing it for us, I think it might fall in the Acts Of Service Love Language or something that makes us feel Loved by whose doing it for us. I used to love having my Hair brushed by my Grandkids, now I have Dreadlocks they haven't been able to do that for Years, I do miss the feeling of hair brushing, but don't miss having my high maintenance hair. Ants, we have the small Sugar Ants that are Red but Thankfully they've stayed Outside, Ants are difficult to eradicate, they are tenacious little fuckers. Love your Spoon Rest idea. Those Boys, they are just Adorable and are going to grow into Handsome Young Men one day in the blink of an Eye!!!


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