It has rained all day today and is currently only 77 degrees on our porch. A dear and welcome relief for which I am grateful.
I feel like I was actually productive today in that I did an adult thing. We got a letter the other day from the company that does our Medicare supplement insurance telling me that I could get my prescriptions either free or much cheaper AND get them in three-month dosages AND have them delivered by mail.
Well, even I could see the benefit in this.
So first I tried to do it online via the website address they gave me but it kept giving me an error message when I tried to register although I KNOW I was putting in the correct information. So I called the number they also offered and got a nice man who sounded as if he might be working from home unless children are running around the office where he works.
Which I doubt.
But he hooked me up and was very polite and very patient and very clear in his questions and instructions and I should be getting my meds in a few days. Then he handed me over to the IT person to get the website registration issue taken care of and I think that's done too.
When I called they asked if I would mind doing a survey after the call and I said that I wouldn't mind and so after I talked with the IT lady, I did take it. It was so funny because they wanted me to rate every question on a scale of zero to ten, zero being not at all and ten being the best.
Yes. I am familiar with how this works.
BUT, they had to explain the scale for every question. Every. Single. One.
Carefully and slowly. I guess we're all old people.
After all of those questions, they said that after the tone I could give any additional input on how I felt the service had been and I got a tone and I started to talk but before five entire seconds had passed, a voice said, "Thank you. Good-bye!"
Well. That was that.
Then I went to get my teeth cleaned which was fine. I have a rather strange relationship with my dental hygienist. In some ways we are very similar. We're about the same age, we've both been married twice, we have children and grandchildren whom we adore and worry about and would do anything for. She makes jewelry and I make...well, a blog, I guess. She gardens. I garden.
However, she is quite on the Christian side of things whereas I most definitely am not. We do not stray into those areas during my appointments. Or politics either which I have a feeling we are as far apart on as are our spiritual beliefs.
Still, I have to say that I do really enjoy visiting with her.
Life is mysterious, isn't it?
And then I went to Publix and Costco and then I came home and unloaded and put everything away and THEN I actually opened the box holding the Cologuard test that I got some time back which I placed immediately in my bathroom and tried to forget about.
Have you ever done one of these things?
They can be done in lieu of a colonoscopy if one is not at risk for colon cancer and I have done one of each. I can safely say that doing the Cologuard test is slightly less horrendous than getting the colonoscopy although the colonoscopy does include some pretty good drugs.
If you like being passed out.
But dammit- the day before the colonoscopy is the most boring day of your life in that you cannot eat for an entire day. I don't mind drinking the colon-cleansing stuff and spending the day in the bathroom. I mean- whatever. People pay good money for colon cleansing. It's just that no-eating thing. I have to admit that food is about 78% of my life. Not eating it, specifically, but growing it, picking it, preserving it, cooking it, and yes- eating it. Also planning what to plant and what to cook. One would think that taking a day off of the eating part, at least, would not be such a horrible thing but somehow it is. And it's not even the hunger. It's just the lack of the most exciting activity in my daily life that puts me off.
But back to the Cologuard test. It is truly disgusting and horrendous to poop into a container and then... well, if you know, you know. If you don't, don't worry about it.
And then, and THEN, you have to take the box which is all so cleverly designed to hold poop in a stable and hopefully odor-free way and drop it off at the UPS place and they KNOW it's your poop in that box. Or someone's, anyway.
And for some reason, that's just really, really weird.
Perhaps it would be better just not to eat all day, go to the colonoscopy factory, get 'er done, and float around in La-La Land for hours.
Aren't you glad you're reading this now?
And so I feel as if I have accomplished so much adulting today simply because I made a phone call, I got my teeth cleaned, and I OPENED THE COLOGUARD BOX AND READ THE INSTRUCTIONS! Which I probably would not have done if I hadn't gotten a rather stern text this morning saying, "Collect your sample in the next five days and return promptly." No beating around the bush, no nicey-nice, just DO IT!
It's still raining. Mr. Moon had a rough night and morning as it appears that his body is indeed reacting to the booster shot but he is feeling better this evening. I am going to make him what we call "Samurai Soup" with ginger and garlic and greens and rice noodles and dumplings. Perhaps we'll have an early night of it although he does love to practice sleeping in his chair before bed for quite awhile.
If you're still reading at this point, thank you for being so faithful. I appreciate you. Know that for certain.
falling off my chair laughing as I read this, Ms. Moon! Love this for SO many reasons, all of which are things I agree with and share your opinions on. Mostly......I relate to the weirdness of being able to be so companionable (for lack of better word) with your hygenist, when you KNOW of at least two major things you are not on the same page with. I had a similar *revelation* the other day.......how can I like these people so much, when the two most volatile issues are ones we disagree on the most? well....at least we have dogs, chickens, love of food in common....and that keeps us liking each otherReplyDelete
Hope Mr Moon feels better after his lovingly made soup
I am glad I could make you laugh. That thought eases me somehow.Delete
I, too, am glad that I can enjoy my appointments with my dental hygienist but it is a pretty time-limited situation.
tiny poop on a tiny stick, just did that as well and it is much better than the invasive starve/drink poison/ shite of colonoscopy. Do you think it might be funny to stick it in raccoon shit and send it off? I think that would be funny...ReplyDelete
It would be funny but then they would definitely make you go get a colonoscopy AND probably a mental exam.Delete
Oh, dear ... have done both ... colonoscopy and the cologard thing - poop in the mail! All good!ReplyDelete
You had your big girl panties on today, Mary! They help us all deal with what life throws at us! Today I had my Covid curls cut off ... super short do!
I need to get my hair trimmed at least. I have had exactly one haircut since Covid began and it had been a long time before then that I'd had it cut so...Delete
Yes. Poop in the mail. What a concept!
I never thought of it as practice sleeping but I like that phrase. My hubby likes to practice sleep as well:)ReplyDelete
Well shit, a good day, all in all then. I would have a hard time sending poop in the mail but I do hate colonoscopies. The prep is the worst part I think. I cried last time and thought I was dying and then the pain. I think Johnny Cash best described it, "That burning ring of fire".
Jack is coming again tonight, hoping he's more settled tonight poor guy. And I found out my son has left his wife. What a surprise. Sigh.
Wait- didn't they give you some sort of drugs before you got your colonoscopy? That's harsh. I would not like that at all.Delete
I, too, hope that Jack is more settled.
The only thing surprising about the news concerning your son is that he left her, and not the other way around.
It was just the prep that was painful and made me cry sadly. HemorrhoidsDelete
Well, by cracky (no pun intended), I'm not due for a colonoscopy for a couple more years, but let me tell you, I'll take that damn box to the Fedex...ReplyDelete
It really is a lot easier. Or at least quicker.Delete
I am so with you on the no eating being the worst part. I hate fasting appointments for blood draws. I resent anything that keeps me from my coffee and food. So yes, I’d much rather ship poop than fast and drink the vile stuff. Hope Mindy doesn’t drench you.ReplyDelete
Mindy was a HUGE surprise! It's like it formed and then an hour later it hit! Craziness. We were fine.Delete
Yeah. Not eating sucks.
I have one of those boxes staring at me too, it's been here since Monday...ReplyDelete
My advice is to just DO IT so you can forget about it. Otherwise it just nags and then you get those texts...Delete
When I worked in D.C. I became friendly with a young woman who had previously temped at the place I was now working. She then went on to work as a receptionist at a hospital and said one poor woman bought her poop test in to drop it off - and accidentally dropped it on the floor, spraying poop all over the place! She said it was mortifying for the lady, although I guess the hospital staff have seen it all before haven't they! And I hope Mr. Moon is feeling better now. I'm sure you're spoiling him!ReplyDelete
Honestly, yes, hospital staff have probably seen it all, most of them, at least. But the real deal is - NO ONE likes to deal with adult poop. That I know of anyway. That would have to be one of the most horrific moments of someone's life, I think. Poor lady.Delete
I was still reading! Oh, Mary. I'll soon be at the age where I'll need to have my first colonoscopy and I guess I'll just go do it at the hospital. I dare not complain about it either, because after Gregg had lung cancer he had to have colonoscopies every year for a couple of years (family history of colon cancer).ReplyDelete
I could never, ever be a nurse. Bodily functions, bodily fluids, all that stuff makes me feel queasy. Yesterday our George had diarrhea all over the bedroom rug and (shhh, don't tell Gregg) I was SO RELIEVED that I'm not the first one to get home! Just hearing about it made my stomach churn.
Body fluids and bodily functions can be pretty disgusting. There's no way around it. But honestly, colonoscopies aren't bad at all except for the clean-out thing.Delete
Poor George. Poor YOU!
You were a very good doo-bee yesterday. In more ways than one. :)ReplyDelete
Ha! Yes I was.Delete
One of the good things about getting old, not just older, is that you age out of colonoscopies. Unless my doctor spots a good reason, I don't have them anymore. Just the quickie testing thing you mail in. So there's that, on days where you really need a cheering thought about old age!ReplyDelete
I am looking forward to at least that one benefit of aging. Yay!Delete
I've had my cologuard kit for at least 6 months and still have not done it. does it matter if I pee and poop or must it just be poop? I've been getting my meds via the online pharmacy connected to my supplemental insurance for years. it's great. though I have to remember to order them as they don't automatically send them out. also, be sure and tell your doctor's office that you have switched pharmacies. I took one of those phone surveys once and never again. they asked the same questions several ways as if I was so dim witted I didn't understand what they were asking.ReplyDelete
my dental hygienist is young and from a few of her comments in past cleanings, she's a Trumper. I understand how people my age can be taken in by him but I'll never understand how people in their 30s and 40s get sucked in.
Ellen, you can through that box away. They have an expiration date because of the preservatives included. The booklets in the box explain EVERYTHING! In great and graphic detail.Delete
You have to reorder your drugs? Well, I guess I already do that so whatever.
I think the lesson I learned from taking the survey is to not take the survey again.
You know- all of the hygienists I know are conservative Christians. What's up with that?
We probably need to have more conversations with folks like your hygienist with whom we vehemently disagree. It might help us bridge the ever-widening gap and heal the country a tiny bit at a time. But, dang, it's hard. I completely understand the politely avoiding topics when you know you're going to disagree. I'm trying to feel less unsettled about it, but I always leave those conversations feeling like I haven't been my authentic self.ReplyDelete
Well, as I said in a comment above, the time spent with the dental hygienist is pretty limited so it's easy to avoid the sticky topics and still retain our pride.Delete
I have done the cologuard kit but then had to have a colonoscopy anyway. The prep is the worst but luckily I don't need another one for 3 years and that will be my last! (no test after 75 my doctor said!) So something good about getting old! :)ReplyDelete
That's not fair, Ellen! But you know, if caught early, colon cancer is treatable and I had a very good friend who died of it. He did not get a colonoscopy until he had to and by that time, it was pretty much too late.Delete
I've done a similar test. They're no fun but I much prefer them to a colonoscopy, which is just WAAAAAY more disruptive.ReplyDelete
I think it's great that you and your hygienist have that relationship. We all used to be much better at talking to people with whom we don't share a world view, and that's what's needed for a more peaceful and empathetic and understanding world. Even if you don't really talk about thorny or potentially contentious subjects. Don't you think?
I agree with you that perhaps we used to be better at talking to people with whom we disagreed but then again, seems like things are just so much more divisive these days. And it's pretty darn easy to steer away from topics that could be touchy when you're just getting your teeth cleaned.Delete
I think that being able to hold a conversation with someone with a different world view (thank you Steve for that phrase - you are one of the most tactful people I 'know') is valuable, even if touchy subjects are avoided. We need to keep seeing each other as human beings, and casual conversations help that. (That being said, I'm fairly embittered about those who are more concerned about their rights than their responsibilities - but I try!)Delete
Chris from Boise