While we were watching a documentary series on the Yorkshire Ripper (how's that for holiday entertainment?) last night I finished crocheting this scarf. It's...colorful. It also screams, "HOMEMADE BY A TERRIBLE CROCHETER!"
I put it on Jack who was lying beside me and he rose up to stretch and I took his picture. I think he looks quite handsome. However, I will be giving it to Levon for Christmas just because. As Jessie said, within five minutes the boys will be using it to tie each other up with but that's fine with me. It's like giving money to someone on the street- you give it away and what the receiver does with it is their business. That's my opinion, anyway.
I ain't gonna lie to y'all. Today's been a hard day. Just one of those days where you're on the verge of crying and/or puking and/or crawling under the covers. As I have said so many times, I really am not sure why Christmas is so damn hard for me but it just is.
It just is.
I wrapped the kids' presents and I did laundry and I made a chocolate pie and read a few articles in the New Yorker and I went to the post office and I took the trash and I looked at the beautiful Christmas cards we got and felt horribly, horribly guilty for not having sent any myself. I almost screamed at my husband when it was apparent that he'd bought me a few little things because we promised we weren't doing that and I didn't. Kayak and stove. That was the deal.
Again with the guilt.
But he calmed me down and he's been so sweet all day. The deer finally found Lily's garden and so he spent a lot of time today working on temporary barriers to their access. FYI- deer like collard greens the best. They know what's good for them.
This morning in the online paper Mr. Moon found a recipe for cheesy-sausage bread that he asked me if I'd make for him. The recipe called for a roll of Pillsbury French bread dough and of course I'd rather make five hundred loaves of French bread from scratch before I'd go back to Publix right now so I've made up the dough and it's in the refrigerator and tomorrow I'll make his cheesy sausage bread for our breakfast. I was thinking about making cinnamon rolls but I have to tell you that I'm way over the limit when it comes to sweets at this point.
My kids and I have been texting back and forth all day. Rachel and Lily have still been baking. Jessie's been doing the last minute stuff she needs to do and she DID have to go to Publix. Poor May came home from work exhausted and ready to collapse. She told us that for Christmas dinner she and Michael are having sheet-pan nachos and I texted back, "You are my most brilliant child!"
Having nachos at Christmas reminded me of the Christmas Eve in Cozumel that Mr. Moon and I had four years ago. You can read about it here if you have any desire. We had nachos that night for our dinner and it truly was one of the very best Christmas Eves of my life.
I bought special seafood for our supper tonight. Two lobster tails and a few rock crab claws. I wish I'd bought frozen pizza instead. I am not cooking well today. It's impossible to cook when your heart is heavy. I left out the butter in the chocolate filling for the pie I made and then the bread dough I made for tomorrow just didn't come together the way it should. I usually have a very intuitive touch when it comes to bread dough with the ratio of liquid and flour and I just couldn't seem to get it right today.
Ah well. La-di-dah.
It has rained all day long. It is going to get cold tonight. Twenty-eight degrees Fahrenheit, you guys. That's really, really cold for us. I have to go cover my Roseland mango. I hope the porch plants survive with their light coverings. They'll probably be okay. Here's the thing- even when my plants appear to have caught their deaths of cold, if I cut them back and give them time, they eventually send forth new shoots of green life.
I'm holding that thought in my heart, knowing that it is true for people too. Where there is life, there will be growth given time and patience, light and water.
2021 can only be better. I have to believe that. That’s all i’ve got.ReplyDelete
And that, in its small spark of hope, is enough.Delete
I have spent a large part of Christmas eve in bed, convinced I am sick (I got a COVID test last weekend, which was negative, but...I suppose perimenopause is a bitch). Tomorrow we will go on a drive or a hike or maybe just stay in bed all day.ReplyDelete
Staying in bed all day does not sound bad. At all. Perimenopause can indeed be a bitch but if you keep feeling bad, go get another test!Delete
Have a healthy and happy and peaceful one xxxxReplyDelete
Thank you, John. It's been very, very low key.Delete
I hope you can find your joy tomorrow and make the best of failed bread dough and create your own version of cheesy sausage bread!ReplyDelete
Merry Christmas and if you feel like flinging out a damn once in a while ... then have at it! Hugs!!!
Marcia in Colorado
I found, if not joy, then at least some laughter. Maybe a little joy. Thank you, Marcia in Colorado.Delete
Just start over again tomorrow, Mary. It's another day.ReplyDelete
Happy cheesy sausage bread day to Mr. Moon.
It made him so happy, that cheesy sausage bread.Delete
yes, happy cheesy sausage bread....... a gentler day....and a good day tomorrow. We had chicken fajitas tonite for dinner......not the traditional eve dinner I normally make...but nothing is normal this year.......it filled us up and we are thankful for that. Amazing your temps are SO cold (for you) We got a firewood delivery yesterday, so we are set with our woodstove for a while,,,,,but it has been balmy for us the past week, for which we are also thankful. Each small thing a blessing.ReplyDelete
You're right- nothing IS normal this year. Fajitas for Christmas Eve supper? Perfect. And yes, we absolutely have to be aware of and grateful for the small blessings.Delete
I burned cookies and banana bread, Dennis hung up a grow light exactly where it ought to go it shines bright Mexican pink, makes our house look like we are open for business. I have quit caring really. just thinking of wooly pigs and the absurdity of everything. I love you. May the pissed off baby jesus be your guide.ReplyDelete
Burning baked goods seems to be a trend this Christmas.Delete
I love your pink light. It is...very pink.
Wooly pigs are a special type of animal god.
I make sausage bread with Rhodes frozen bread dough, sausage (duh!), Parmesan cheese and beaten eggs. Just made some for a get-together this evening and it was all eaten. The crying jags here have almost stopped, though I do break out in sobs occasionally. Hubby and I are eating alone tomorrow but we’re taking dinner to three different couples, all of whom one partner is recovering from recent surgery. I mean the women are recovering because if it was the men they’d have Christmas dinners on their own tables. When the delivering is all done, I’m going to clean the kitchen, take down the tree and every decoration, and get my house back into some kind of order. Then I’m gonna watch Season 3 of Yellowstone. Merry Christmas to us all!ReplyDelete
You are a very, very good woman, Catrina. Your neighbors must love you. I hope that your tears run their course very soon. Did you really take your tree down? I have taken mine down on Christmas day before. This is surely a sign of someone who does not love Christmas.Delete
I had my own version of a special Christmas Eve dinner...ReplyDelete
Four open-faced tuna salad sandwiches (made by my husband) a giant Hershey bar and a WHOLE CAN of Ocean spray cranberry sauce... (ALL FOR MYSELF.) It stood UPRIGHT AND JIGGLY in the middle of my plate.
I'd defy Christ to say it wasn't an appropriate meal for his birthday bash... it was DIVINE... clouds broke and angels sang...
Whatever gives warm feelings in the belly is AOK in my book, and all the Christmas I need.
Sounds like a perfect Jesus Birthday to me! And quite festive.Delete
Breathe deep, go to bed and remember tomorrow is another day...good luck with your sausage bread.ReplyDelete
Thanks, e. The bread wasn't bad.Delete
I went back to that 4 years ago post and it was soothing. Your writing works Ms Moon. I hope your day today is as good as it can be. I love you.ReplyDelete
I had to make myself stop thinking about that day four years ago or I never would have stopped crying.Delete
Happy xmas, enjoy your traditions and your family's love and care adapted to needs must etc.ReplyDelete
Watching The Yorkshire Ripper has brought back so many memories of the early 1980s and what hopes and dreams we had for our daughters' futures. Reclaim the Night, and now look.
I was thinking the same thing- how absolutely nothing has changed when it comes to the way the law looks at women who are victims of that sort of crime. Just horribly depressing. How can we ever reclaim the night? We never had it.Delete
If you want to feel better about your Christmas Eve dinner, consider what I did: told my DH to heat up his favorite leftovers. I did likewise. Martha Stewart, I'm not. Kind of consider that a badge of honor. :)ReplyDelete
Hope your mood lightens and that the weather warms up a bit...we started with 58 degrees around midnight and it has already dropped to 34 before noon. Heading to 23. Had wicked wind and rain storm overnight but no trees fell on the property so consider that a win.
It's Friday. Time for your martini! Take care.
Well we are having NOTHING for our supper tonight. We did have a large lunch a few hours ago. And yes, m'am. It is almost martini time!Delete
Supposed to get down to 25 here tonight.
Merry whatever. you know I don't lift a finger for it here. not the religious christmas which I reject or the secular christmas which I also reject. but we did go over to my sister's house last night for Christmas dinner, the first time in 10 years. first time in 10 years she has been here instead of traveling to her daughter's or our brother's which she would have done this year if not for covid. personally, I'm glad she stayed home this year. it was a nice evening with her and one of her grandgirl's who came to spend christmas with her and her friend Bobby whose family did their thing earlier this week.ReplyDelete
Well, at least there was that- a good excuse to get together. I hope it was a really nice evening.Delete
Christmas will soon be past. Meanwhile enjoy the sausage bread. Which is new to me but I think I'll learn how to make it.ReplyDelete
I agree with you about gifts: no strings. Once it's given, it's up to the receiver what happens to it.
Exactly, Boud! I hate it when someone gives me something that comes with some sort of strings attached, even if they are unspoken strings.Delete
You would probably like cheesy bread and a few slices of that and a salad or veg and you've got a meal.
It's so ridiculous, when you think about it, how much we all stress ourselves out about Christmas. I only had two gifts for Dave and I felt terrible. Dave had NONE for me (yet) and I don't think he minded at all! (Nor should he, because I honestly didn't mind.) He's much more easy-going about it all.ReplyDelete
The shellfish sounds like a great dinner and YIKES -- 28 degrees IS cold! Take care and stay cozy!
I almost cried when Glen gave me some presents. However, one of them was a pair of Airpod pros and I love them so I can't get too mad. I suppose my gift to him was cheesy sausage bread. Ha!Delete
The shellfish dinner was delicious.
Is it better to know that you are not alone in your feelings about today? It has been a "just get thru it" day for me for many years, for too many reasons. Yesterday I heard my Christmas theme song,ReplyDelete
titled "Chritmas Makes Me Cry" on NPR. At last someone understands!
I think there are probably a great many people who feel the same about Christmas. I've never heard that song but I feel certain I'd relate too.Delete
And now it's Christmas. We've almost got through it for another year. I feel terribly unequal to the demands of this day and so relieved when it's behind me. I love you dear Mary Moon. Let's hold hands.ReplyDelete
Yes, please. I am also kissing your hands. They are remarkable hands who I am SURE made a beautiful Christmas.Delete