Monday, November 2, 2020

Distraction And Being Distraught


Last night's supper was such a failure that I had to make something good for our lunch today and so, inspired by Lis who had made eggs with the last of Lon's garden cherry tomatoes, I made a sort of frittata, or a tortilla, I guess, in the Spanish sense. Also, we are drowning in eggs and they are so good and so pretty with their golden yolks. For whatever reason, the eggs in this dish were incredibly light and fluffy. Perhaps because I beat them with whole milk instead of 2%. Who knows? But oh, it was delicious. 

I should have known better than to make last night's bean and shrimp stew and I probably never would have if my friend on FB hadn't said she'd made it and that they loved it. 
We definitely did NOT love it and I should have listened to my cook's instinct about the wisdom of combining beans and shrimp unless it's in a sort of gumbo dish. It was just...weird. Like trying to marry a dragon and King Kong. Or a mermaid and a boar hog. Or something. And perhaps it just wasn't to our taste. The chickens got what we didn't eat and they seemed to find it to their liking well enough and will turn all of that protein into more golden-yoked eggs so there was not really much waste to it. And the bread and the salad were wonderful. 

Am I droning on? Yes. Yes I am. I am trying to keep my mind occupied instead of letting it run the hamster wheel of tomorrow's election and how it turns out over and over and over again. 
I am so afraid. 
There. I've said it. I just am. 
I honestly do not think our country can survive another four years of that wad of orange detritus in the Oval Office. I do take hope and comfort in the fact that so many people have early-voted either by mail or in person. That seems auspicious. But there is so much that takes me to dark places. For one thing, I never, ever believed that he'd be elected the first time and I will never get over the devastating revelation and realization as to how so many of my fellow citizens think and what they truly believe. And the truest thing that their hero ever said was in 2016 when he declared that he could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot someone and he wouldn't lose any supporters. 
Honestly? I think he'd gain some. Depending on who he shot. And what color their skin was. 
And although I've been scared to death that this election is not going to be either fair or honest, I absolutely did not think that there would be Trump supporters blocking polling places or trying to stop Biden caravans on highways. I don't know WHY I never thought this would happen. Maybe because, well, you know- we live in the United States of America and we just don't do those kinds of things?
Where the hell have I BEEN for the past four years? Haven't I learned by now that there is no bottom to the depths of the despicable behavior that he or his followers are capable of? 

I forgot to tell y'all that while we were at the beach all of the Biden signs in my neighborhood were stolen one night. Except, interestingly, in the yards of my Black neighbors. 
This says to me that the thieves were cowardly-ass, asshole rednecks. 
It also says to me that Trump supporters have no manners, no couth, no respect for others' property or political beliefs. We Biden supporters have left our neighbors' Trumps sign go unmolested for four years now. FOUR FUCKING YEARS!

And that's enough of that. I can't do any more than I've done. I can't even always control the outcome of a supper recipe, much less the election of a president. So I stayed fairly busy today. I cleaned the hen house, I worked in the garden, doing a little weeding, a little mulching. 


That's some lettuce, I believe. I could be wrong. The spinach and swiss chard and cilantro and bok choy and whatever the hell else I planted are also coming up and the rows we planted a few weeks ago are looking very nice. 


The carrots are especially cheerful. 


I listened to the last few hours of "A Private Cathedral" by James Lee Burke, narrated by Will Patton and that certainly kept me distracted. I would never really recommend Burke's books to most people because his tales can be quite violent, quite dark, but he is a beautiful writer and Patton's narration of the books is as perfectly suited to them as an organ is to a church hymn. 

The sun has set and by this time tomorrow I'll be glued to the news as we all will. I have no doubt that we will go to bed not knowing a damn thing. I'm going to try with all of my heart to keep a spark of hope alive and burning brightly. I guess that's all we can do. 

That and continue to be as kind and decent as we possibly can. 

Love...Ms. Moon


38 comments:

  1. I’m terrified! I kind of cocooned today reading everything I could that I draw hope from. I know that’s really bad grammar, but doesn’t ‘reading everything from which I can draw hope’ sound rawther uppity? Anyway, I’ll be glued to the TV tomorrow night, and fully expect T-Rump to show his ass. I’ll refrain from throwing stuff at the TV and choose to laugh at his idiocy....hoping, and yes, PRAYING, that his ass is on the way out the door of OUR house!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. As I keep saying- I wish I prayed.
      Eventually, we will know.

      Delete
  2. we will all need to keep the spark of hope alive tomorrow. A BIG spark. Nothing (so far) can surpass the dismay and sorrow of waking up post election 2016 to the unfathomable outcome....... I know it *could* happen again? but my little voice is telling me it won't. Still....on pins and needles. Busying myself too today, as you are.....and most of us are........just trying to be in our own *self* and zen and still our fears. Your garden looks lovely.....all those veggies to-be,......... you are cold,.....we are still in high 80's......ugh. Stop, already!
    Susan M

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Still in the eighties? High eighties? Ugh.
      After 2016 I know anything can and does happen. So. Still, I hope.

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  3. In scared to death. 2016 taught us a horrible lesson.

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  4. I'm trying to be calm, knowing I've done everything I can for years, GOTV, vbm, step by step on the blog wrt mail-in ballots, all I can. Encouragement to vote. So now I try to trust in good results.

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    1. And that is all you can do and you did more than most, good woman.

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  5. I just ate a dozen halloween kit kats, drinking gin now, I'm fine...

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Nothing to see here! Move along!
      I fear for the vodka and family-sized bag of peanut butter M&M's that are here.

      Delete
  6. I keep thinking in reality we may not know tomorrow night who has won. That drives me crazy!

    I am scared either way it goes. I'll be thrilled for a Biden win but I'm afraid of the actions of some of the Trump supporters if/when Biden wins. Trump encourages them to wreck havoc and they probably will. Business owners are boarding up store fronts across the country in anticipation of problems.

    I keep remembering how sick I felt four years ago when Trump won. If it happens again I'll be at a total loss because this time I know what kind of damage he is capable of.

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    1. I don't think we will know tonight unless it's such a huge blue landslide that there's no doubt. Trump is lawyered up the wazoo.
      Your last paragraph? Yeah. Me too.

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  7. We are all unsettled. Hoping so hard. Sending love.

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  8. I’m scared too. Also frightened by how many worshipers he has. I want to believe most people are decent. It was such a gut punch. Much love.
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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    Replies
    1. I still think most people are decent but goddamn! They need to fucking vote!

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  9. Sending virtual hugs and hoping that my cynicism about tomorrow is wrong...

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    1. Sending a hug back, darling. We're all hoping that our cynicism is wrong.

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  10. I'm thinking it's going to be a rout. And that there'll be lots of violence and unrest and bullshit for days and weeks. Our whole neighborhood is boarded up -- literally -- the whole damn area. So much for our "peaceful free elections."

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    1. I don't know that anything's boarded up around here but you live in such a huge city and it's so diverse. I sure am glad I'm not a cop now. Well, even more than I always am.

      Delete
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  12. When I said "rout" I meant that Biden will win.

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  13. I just don't understand messing with someone's yard signs. I don't think that kind of thing would have happened a few decades ago. I do believe Trump supporters are more likely to disregard rules, given that they're disregarding all social norms just by supporting the man.

    I'll be so glad when this is over. Dave and I have already decided we're not staying up. It'll be 3 a.m. here before we know anything so we'll just go to bed and then wake up early for the news. (Assuming we can sleep!)

    I'm still amazed by your self-seeded marigold patch.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I swear to god- this whole shit started when McCain chose Palin as a running mate. Then the tea party happened. And here we are.
      I hope you can sleep. I hope you wake to a different world.

      Delete
  14. Stopped watching any TV after the last election. Won't check the NYT or WP until Wed. a.m. because I just can't take it. Voted a few weeks ago. My board of elections has already sent me an email saying my ballot was received. Then they another a few days later saying it has been counted. And now? We wait.

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    1. I don't watch TV news but I probably will tonight as the results start coming in. I won't be able to help it.

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  15. I will try to refrain from peeking at the news today...I think the uncertainty and stress will just amp up my anxiety. I will check my Wednesday morning emails from the New York Times and Letters from an American. They always give a good news summary of what has happened. Here's hoping for a big blue win!

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    1. I need to get a subscription to the NYT's. I am an adult. It's time.
      And yes- here's hoping.

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    2. Be sure to ask for their best rate. I was about to cancel my subscription at the beginning of the year, but when I called they offered me about half price of the annual rate.

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  16. trying not to think about it. you are right about Trump supporters and the complete lack of respect towards other people and our democracy. someone vandalized a jewish cemetery spray painting Trump and MAGA on headstones. and you know if any of us did that they would be howling in indignation. and yeah, I'm worried too. not only will we not survive another four years of Trump, we won't survive another 4 years of McConnell either. he may not lose his seat but hopefully we will make him minority leader and he will have no power.

    and yeah...beans and shrimp?

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    1. I saw that about the headstones and it made me sick. FUCK THOSE PEOPLE! I keep reading that we're supposed to try and find common ground no matter the results but how do you find common ground with someone who could do that? I sure would love to see McConnell and Graham the hell out of there. Fuckwads both.

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  17. Ditto about all you said Politically and the angst and anxiety it brings with it this Day... and possibly beyond. This is not an America that I thought I knew, even some people I thought I knew have been Seduced by The Death Cult. I can't even be around any of them or that... too toxic and too disturbing. That Frittata looks Amazing, it's early Morning and now I have a Taste for one! *LOL* Your Garden sprouting up and your Hens laying Golden Yolk Eggs is evidence that Nature keeps on keeping on regardless of whatever Mankind is fucking up... and THAT gives me Hope and somewhat of a Peace, during uncertain times.

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    1. Nature does keep on giving and if we can work with it, rather than against it, it's always miraculous.
      I'm with you on the Trump supporters. Ugh.

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  18. It’s Election Day and I will not look at, or listen to, “news”. I can’t take it. However, I laughed when I read of “that orange wad of detritus”. You’ll appreciate my friend’s mention of “that orange tub of bile”. May we have the outcome we need.

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    1. Orange tub of bile is good. I really like the word "detritus."
      May we have the outcome we need.
      Yes.

      Delete

Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.