Lily brought her children over today for what is becoming our regular Saturday visit. Magnolia was carrying flowers that they brought me and I was so surprised.
"Why did you get me flowers?" I asked.
"Because we love you," said Lily.
Fifty million heart emojis.
We have our routine down. Someone has to get Maggie the toys she will want to play with which are the farm and the little rabbits and bears with their houses. Gibson likes to play with some magnet toys while we chat at the table outside. Today Owen and Boppy did some target shooting with an air gun. Or BB gun. I don't know. It wasn't very loud. So that was a bit different. Lily and Gibson and I caught up and then I made us a little lunch of cheese toasts and chips and salsa and pickles and there is a routine to that now, too. I bring out plates and Lily sanitizes her hands and serves her children's plates and we make do. Today Miss Pecky came around and in a horrible move, thinking she saw something worth eating on Gibson's knee, she pecked a scab which drew blood and hurt him very much. Then the dang chicken flew up and grabbed a cheese toast! I never knew her to be so bold. She didn't mean to hurt Gibson. Chickens often peck at our toes, especially if we're wearing toenail polish, thinking that perhaps we have food at the end of our feet. Chickens are very food-oriented. You've probably guessed that by now.
And so it was pleasant and Maggie found eggs and we joked and laughed and discussed and I teared up a little when we started talking about Thanksgiving and soon it was time for them to go.
Yes. We are still in flip-flops or barefooted around here. I did change out my tank top for a shirt with sleeves a little while ago.
Nothing else to report except that Maurice seems to be softening a little bit after her two-day accidental isolation in the garage. Last night, not only did she sleep on the bed but she actually moved off the pillow that she's been sleeping on between Mr. Moon and me and crept down to snuggle next to my hip. This is new. She and Jack continue to play with the cat toys I bought but also continue to pretend that they are not if we interrupt their play, staring innocently off into the middle distance and when we leave the hallway, we hear the jingle of the little toys again as they are batted about.
It is so strange that my life has become so small that new cat behaviors are something worth nothing. I have got to get more motivated because I seem to just do less and less lately. Doing the basic chores and anticipating bed time is hardly a life being lived fully. I remember back when this whole pandemic started and there seemed to be more motivation- to flatten the curve, to stay safe and keep others safe, to make use of all the food because shopping was so perilous, to savor each minute because life seemed even more tenuous than ever. Of course nothing has really changed. We still need to stay safe, to keep others safe, to keep the health care workers from being completely overcome. Using all the food is always a good idea and a noble goal. And life is actually even more tenuous than it was in March, shopping even more perilous, considering the statistics.
I don't know. I just don't know. But I do know that seeing children and grandchildren when I can't hug them or kiss them or cuddle them is just damn hard and not getting easier. Having Jessie and her family in our bubble is life-saving but having to observe stark precautions around the rest of them is overwhelmingly sad sometimes.
When I stood by the car waiting to tell them all good-bye today, Magnolia held a ballon that she'd gotten at Publix. "What is August's favorite color?" she asked me. I told her that August's favorite color is actually rainbow- all the colors. "What about this color?" she asked, indicating the red balloon that was floating, anchored by a plastic star, the string in her pudgy beautiful hand.
"Yes, he likes that color," I said.
"Why don't you keep this balloon and give it to August?" she asked me. My heart broke. She misses her cousins so. I told her that it would probably deflate before I saw him again.
She was sipping on a juice in a bottle with a Frozen character on it.
"You keep this," she said. "You keep it with your cups."
"I don't know that I'd have much use for it," I said. "You keep it, Maggie."
"No. Levon can use it when he comes over."
I thanked her and told her that that was so very sweet and that I loved her, that she, too, can use it when she comes over.
"Because Levon loves me?" she asked. I said that yes, he did.
I took the bottle and will indeed keep it with my cups for when Levon comes over.
We go on.
I put on a Nirvana cd today and forced myself to have a five minute dance marathon. It would have been horrifying had any accidental passers by seen me.ReplyDelete
I know what you mean but dance, sometimes we must.Delete
awwww Magnolia is such a sweetheart, they all are, I do love the boy's hair, one smurf and one woody wood pecker, natural I assume...ReplyDelete
Thanksgiving is just another day, i tell myself, no big deal, I tell myself.Better double up on the little blue pills...
Well, Jessie played with a little hair gel in August's hair.Delete
Thanksgiving IS just another day.
Pass the blue pills.
This is all too true. I finished breakfast this morning, my favorite meal, and thought, "Well, that's that until tomorrow!" Fucking virus for sure.ReplyDelete
When I get out of bed in the morning I think, "Damn. I have to get up again." This is not healthy.Delete
Fuck. The. Virus.
Maggie just broke my heart. Trying to love her cousins from afar. Oh sweet girl.ReplyDelete
I know! I think that shows a very advanced amount of empathy for a child her age. She is a sweet girl.Delete
so sweet it brings me to tears, your grands. Lots of tears here today too..... ran into 2 friends on my rare weekend *out and about* errand to town..... the upcoming holiday and the reality of how different it will be for everyone, was foremost and brought tears all around. That kind of day..... for all of us, as it continue to be. I lift my glass to everyone....... in hopes we will muddle through best as we canReplyDelete
We muddle. You are right. We are trying to find the path without much light.Delete
Not surprisingly, there is much stumbling. And yet, we have to keep going.
Our covid cases have increased by 40% in the past week and schools will surely be closing again. I provide the childcare for my grandson.ReplyDelete
Monday, my husband and I will drive 5.5 hours to deliver Christmas gifts to my son and daughter-in-law. They don't know we're coming, and we won't tell them. We will leave the boxes on their door and we will leave.We are planning to arrive while my granddaughter is napping, because if she sees me, she it will break her heart. If I see her, it will break mine. Once we're back on the road and headed home, we'll call them and tell them about the packages out front.
These are strange times, and we can only make the best of them. My husband and I will have an adventure, and we will eat in the car.
It's the most ridiculous thing, but somehow knowing that Iris' gifts are there on Christmas morning is all I really need.
just reading this almost broke MY heart, Debby. Truly.Delete
As Susan said, this is heartbreaking. And beautiful at the same time. May your journey be safe. I'll be thinking of you.Delete
Maggie is so sweet and trying to love people from afar. Clever girl. Wishing you a sweet night.ReplyDelete
Thank you, e. I appreciate you so.Delete
What a loving little girl Magnolia is....she must get it from her Grandma! I see my youngest grandson most weeks, only for a walk at the moment, though they did used to come to the house before our latest lockdown. I have only seen the " big grands"( 10 and 8) about 3 times since March. I used to get them from school several times a week prior to that and I fear they will forget me.ReplyDelete
I know- I don't really fear that Owen and Gibson and Maggie will forget me but I do fear that they won't feel that I am involved in their lives the way I used to be and think that I don't care about them as much as I used to. It's the most horrible thing.Delete
Lily is a very, very caring and loving mother and I'm sure that that's where Maggie has gotten her ability to love. She knocks me out.
Yeah. My son got upset the other day - he's not enjoying contact free rugby traning, it just highlights all the bits he's not good at, makes him feel un-useful and isn't fun, and stops him being able to do all the bits he *Was* good at that help him feel like he's contributing. Though he worries it's just his brain telling him negative stuff. He teared up talking about how he'd just started really enjoying it, finally, and then Covid messed everything up. I know it's not a life or death thing, but it's stopping his development, screwing up his fitness and self-esteem... it's tough.ReplyDelete
If we were able to add up all of the small and large things that we are missing out on due to this virus, we would be amazed. And not in a good way. No matter how we try to make do as best we can, there is still so much that we are losing and have lost.Delete
Will we ever make it all up? I doubt it.
I wish more parents were as protective of their families as Lily clearly is - even as this endless virus becomes so very tiresome. Thanksgiving and Christmas ought to be more or less cancelled this year to save lives and stop the spread. With our Frances reaching the end of her pregnancy, it would be awful if she caught COVID-19 right now so she is coming to the conclusion that it's best to remain isolated over the festive period. After all, the virus will not be taking a break. I hope that Gibson was not too traumatised by the vicious chicken attack. Poor lad!ReplyDelete
Frances is smart. As hard as it is, I know she is making the right choices for her baby and for herself.Delete
Bless her and all of the families having to make these choices.
Gibson was a bit traumatized but I think he'll survive.
I can't believe you're in T-shirts and flip flops. While it's glorious here it's "nippy" to say the least. 8°C (46°F). Still I like it. And you're right. Fucking virus!ReplyDelete
It's warm here, even for us. Another source of constant, underlying anxiety- the climate is definitely changing.Delete
fucking virus, yes, but more so fucking trump and fucking republicans for refusing to do anything about it.ReplyDelete
yep, t-shirt, shorts, and bare feet here too. and I think I have the same sandals Gibson has.
I have lost all respect for Republicans. Not that I had much to begin with.Delete
Isn't this weather crazy?
It's so cute that Maggie is looking out for her cousins. Miss Pecky must be part seagull, stealing cheese toast that way!ReplyDelete
I thought the same thing about the chickens and seagulls yesterday! As soon as the food came out, they came running.Delete
I read an interesting article in the Atlantic, I think, about the virus fatigue - that the fight or flight instinct cannot be maintained for a prolonged length of time. However, I think about 70 million of us are just entitled assholes who think they should do whatever they want (and yes, that Venn diagram would be just a circle ;)ReplyDelete
And while I admit to being a city slicker, that story about poor Gibson is why I'm terrified of chickens.
We are entitled assholes. I have to admit to being one of them. At least part of the time.Delete
I'm sure that we cannot maintain that level of adrenalin for long but I know that our body tries and in doing so, burns itself out. Very unhealthy for all of us.
I was always terrified of chickens too because when I was a child, my best friend's family kept a flock and their rooster would chase us and peck at us. I have come to discover that most roosters are not nearly that aggressive. Pecky's pecking yesterday was about the most scary thing any of my chickens have ever done and it was pretty innocent, really. She wasn't looking to attack, just to eat.
You are lucky to spend time with your grandchildren and I enjoy the love that shines through your stories about your visits with them.ReplyDelete
I am so lucky, Ellen. And I know it. For the visits and for all the love.Delete