There is no reason for me to write a post tonight except for the fact that I feel like if I don't write a post I might inadvertently cause the end of the world or something because as Ann Lamott once wrote, "I am the piece of shit the world revolves around," which, although she sometimes annoys me, I find to be one of the most profound things I've ever read.
Or at least relatable to me.
Every woman I know adores Ann Lamott and I adored her too when I first read "Operating Instructions" because I felt like it was absolutely one of the most truthful books about motherhood I'd ever read but over the years I've grown weary hearing about the Uncle Jesus stuff even though I am glad that it works for her and that her faith gets her through the hard stuff and inspires thousands and thousands of others to get through their own hard stuff.
Maybe I'm just jealous, knowing that I don't have that kind of belief or the kind of church community she has. It would be so nice to believe that everything works out in the end according to a god's plan and we mostly have to just get out of the way and let it happen while striving to love one another. That's rather beautiful. I do definitely believe in the striving to love one another part but my ability to believe that there is a celestial plan is just about zero percent. However, I have gotten out of the way as much as possible, especially when it comes to believing that I can control anything except, of course, for the continuation of the universe as we know it, thus...I'm writing a post.
How's that for a tangled web?
God, it's been a dreary day. Dark all day and sort of damp and getting chillier and all day the fact that my husband is leaving tomorrow to go off into the unsafe world of disease and traffic has been in my heart and I'm not upset and I'm not mad and I'm not even especially worried but still...we've been in each other's pockets since March now and it's going to be different around here while he's gone. I made a huge pot of chili which I'm afraid is a little too spicy but there's nothing I can do now except advise him to make rice to mix with it. I also made a large batch of oatmeal, pecan, raisin, chocolate chip cookies to take which would sustain him for a week if that's all he had but he also has two bags of snacks to take with him so he won't starve. I'll bet you anything that those hunters will not finish up any of what I'm sending unless they stay up there for a month.
Okay. Maybe the cookies.
And I'll be fine. I plan on watching whatever I want on the TV at night and that will not include sports or muscle car restoration or drag racing or knife-forging of any kind and I will eat whatever my heart desires.
Honestly, I already do eat whatever my heart desires (within reason) because I plan the meals, do the shopping, and cook the food. And if I need anything at all, my children will help me and I probably won't need anything except maybe a little company and I think that I can arrange to visit with some grandboys and their mama to dispel any loneliness I might feel.
And of course I have a nice flock of chickens and two insane cats to keep me company. Not to mention books, books, books.
I am also most grateful for this sweet community right here that always makes me feel as if I have dear friends right next to me at all times.
Thank you.
Check in tomorrow evening if you want to and I'll let you know if I've cleaned the house, planted an acre of fruit trees, finished Obama's memoir, run a marathon, convinced Jack and Maurice to be BFF's and sweet snuggle-buddies, and figured out the meaning of life.
Or, you know- made it through another day.
Also, you'll be able to thank me for not letting the world come to an end. You are so welcome!
Big love...Ms. Moon
I’ve been decorating for Christmas today. I have NEVER even considered getting the boxes out until the first week of December. But hey it’s been a crazy year so far so why not mix it up a little? I also put some pine-scented was in my wax burners, and even though it was 85 here today, it at least smells cozy. Your weather is headed south to us and by Tuesday we’re to have rain and a high of 58. Brrrr!
ReplyDeleteEveryone seems to be doing the Christmas thing early this year. We're supposed to have a high of 52 tomorrow. I'll send my love with the cool air.
DeleteThis Bing Crosby song sprang to mind:-
ReplyDeleteWe're busy doin' nothin'
Workin' the whole day through
Tryin' to find lots of things not to do
We're busy goin' nowhere
Isn't it just a crime
We'd like to be unhappy, but
We never do have the time
In other words, perhaps we should not feel too guilty about days in which little of note is achieved, days when the hours just pass and our thoughts meander freely.
True! I am pretty sure that before we got all industrialized and created all of these mind candy devices and distractions, humans just sort of loafed when there wasn't anything pressing to do. Made sense because the less calories expended, the less pressing the need to eat. Of course, that's hardly our problem these days. I always think that our bodies and minds have not kept pace with our world and this causes a lot of problems.
Deletethank you Ms Moon!
ReplyDeleteYou are so welcome!
DeleteSounds like you are going to miss Mr. Moon! He will be back before you know it and I know you will be fine as you said so in your post. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI will miss him and that's for sure but I do not mind being by myself.
DeleteI wandered over here from Jenn's blog and was absolutely delighted reading your post. What satisfying, funny meanderings. I will definitely be back to read more. You made my evening.
ReplyDeleteHello, Granny Sue! I'm so glad that you did drop by! Please feel welcome any time. We have a lovely community here.
Deletethere are two businesses I pass on a regular basis that have electronic signs and the both have god messages...trust in god's plan and god loves you says one and the other also has a messages about god's plan for us which I can't remember the exact wording of and my opinion of that is that if this is god's plan, this covid and/or Trump (take your pick) then god can take his plan and shove it up where the sun don't shine.
ReplyDeleteI want some of those cookies.
People sure can twist themselves into pretzels trying to rationalize their god's plans, can't they? It's so ridiculous. "Everything happens for a reason."
DeleteYeah. Covid happened because viruses develop that human's aren't immune to and they spread like wildfire throughout a population that refuses to take the necessary steps to slow it down.
Etc.
This is right up there in my book with "Intelligent design."
Bite my ass.
Cookies? I sent every durn one of them on the road with Glen. That wasn't very smart, was it?
I am so fortunate, I remember little of what I've read, even seconds later. Ellen mentioned cookies. What cookies?
ReplyDeleteHaha! I love you, Joanne.
DeleteI was an atheist for the first 30 years of my life. And now I'm not. I won't bother to explain, because it won't make sense. But this I can tell you. Even as a believer, I know that life goes to shit sometimes. I know that all endings are not happy. I know that you can try your very best to do your very best and it can still come up and bite you in the ass. What faith means to me is that you endure with as much grace as you can muster.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite quote is on my refrigerator: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." Mary Anne Radmacher
Great quote. And I respect your faith, whatever your story is. Like I said- sometimes I wish I had some but I do try to live with your definition of faith. And I also believe in grace. I have seen a lot of it in my lifetime.
Deletethank you for not letting the world come to an end.......LOL! I always get concerned on rare days when you do not post.....so I know tonight, that you are OK. I doubt you will plant an orchard tomorrow, run a marathon (except a walk to Post office) or get Jack and Maurice to be BFF's but I know you will survive just fine....missing Mr Moon.....but enjoying your quiet time
ReplyDeleteSusan M
Damn! You're right, Susan! I didn't do any of those things but I got a few things done that I needed to do. And there's always tomorrow...
DeleteJust don't forget to get that sun up in the morning, in case I forget. Very nice moon this evening, came up all by itself.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's easy to feel we're responsible for everything. I think it comes of caregiving. Or maybe it's the other way round? I like some of Ann lamott, in small doses. She gets a bit like that old joke :"look who thinks she's humbler than anyone!"
Full moon tonight! And yes, I can't take credit for her.
DeleteYour idea of where all these feelings of responsibility is interesting. I think I was born with mine and I know damn well that my mother encouraged them. Which leads back to caretaking. I was caretaking her and my brother before I was old enough to ride the big rides at the fair. This is probably why I do enjoy some alone time. I don't have anyone to worry about but myself.
I'm with you about Ann Lamott. Probably if I met her I'd love her. But.
yeah, Ann lost me when her boyfriend jesus showed up. That was the end of my girl crush. I cleaned a bathroom today and started reading Household Saints, thank you very much! I am loving it.
ReplyDeleteI should reread that book. I'm glad you're liking it.
DeleteYes. Boyfriend Jesus.
Okay. Whatever.
Cookies and chili...Both will be appreciated, I'm sure. It is 4 AM and time for bed...
ReplyDeleteOh my god, e! I should hope it IS time for bed...
DeleteYou're becoming nocturnal like Hank!
Anne L's twitter feed can be a hoot. She does love to skewer the orange one and company. Some pretty funny retweets, too.
ReplyDeleteWill be thinking of you this week, hoping it will be as drama/anxiety free, as possible.
I haven't gotten on Twitter for the same reason I've never tried heroin. I know myself too well. I'll take your word for it, though.
DeleteThanks for the drama-free thoughts. I appreciate them!
Not on Twitter myself (or any other social media), but I check out what a few folks post now and then. The most read one being about a local weather. I live on the wild side, yes?
DeleteAfter reading that profound Quote I'm going to have to read some Ann Lamott! Your tangled Web made me Smile, I am quite conflicted at times about how I sort thru Life, it's just complicated. Your Man's TV itinerary sounds familiar and why I have more than one TV in the house, tho' I don't really watch the one he's not watching much, so it's usually on some Teen or Cartoon Channel the Granddaughter is actually not watching while she's on her Smart Phone. *LOL*
ReplyDeleteWe used to have two TV's but we never watched one of them so I had it removed. But I'll enjoy watching stuff this week, I'm sure. I'll get a little crocheting done, too.
DeleteThanks for posting. I'm not ready for the universe to end just yet as I've got so much living left to do!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! I know you do have plenty of living left to do!
DeleteHa! Forged in Fire is a thing in this household too! I do sometime watch with my man though I’d never put it on on my own. Some days are just blah and we just have to let them be what they are. Hugs, friend.
ReplyDelete"The piece of shit the world revolves around." That IS profound! I used to like Anne Lamott but my enthusiasm for her also cooled when the Jesus stuff entered the picture.
ReplyDeleteWell, whatever God is, and people see him or her or it in different ways, I think there is a plan but it's been set in motion and now it's going to happen and we must try and change it if we don't like it. (I don't know if that makes sense.)
ReplyDelete