Last night I had one of those periods of time where everything, every thing, pleased me. My soul and my heart were both so light and there was nothing that did not feel sweet. The food I was making for supper, the garden I picked part of it from, my lovely sharp knives and good cooking pots. The fact that we have running water for washing clothes and our bodies and drinking seemed almost miraculous. The bowls of eggs on the counter were precious. I felt newfound appreciation for my house, my very old house with its wooden floors and big windows and the pictures that the children have drawn taped to its walls and cabinet doors. The fact that I was going to sit down and watch our new president-elect and vice-president elect make acceptance speeches with my good, dear, husband thrilled me more than I can say.
And all of that was good. It was good to get into my old nightgown, soft as a whisper and to cuddle into my bed having listened to the speeches with the prospect of a new president in front of us, the prospect of dreamless sleep before me.
And I woke up this morning disturbed, heavy, and worried.
We have not seen Maurice since Friday morning and this is not like her at all. I had thought she'd taken off for a little while when the kids were here because she does not like kids any more than they like her. There's a good reason Maggie calls her Scratch. Hell, there's still a place on my own arm that hasn't quite healed up from the last time she got snitty with me. But she's never disappeared this long. I've searched upstairs and in the closets, and in my old office. Glen's checked the shed he keeps locked and the trailer, too. She is nowhere to be found.
And say what you will about her disposition, her temper and her manners, I love that little orange cat.
Mr. Moon is worried too. He's looked all around the yard. We have looked up and down the road. I don't think she's a far-traveler but stays close to home. So where could she be? Last night after I turned out the light to go to sleep, a cat suddenly appeared beside me and at first I thought it was her and I was so relieved but I immediately realized that it was big old Jack and although his presence comforted me, I was disappointed.
Add to that- my worry over my crazy animal companion, my grouchy familiar- I think that all of the stress of the past years and months and days have finally caught up with me. I am still grateful for the running water and the garden and the knives and my husband and my house and my family but that clear and perfect delight in everything has gone the way of a summer rainstorm, leaving me wondering why such feelings of contentment and thankfulness have to be so damn transient. I feel so heavy today that it's been hard to move my body and everything aches. I managed a few things like laundry and sweeping porches and watering plants and I even made a meringue pie with the beautiful lemons that Jessie brought over but nothing has brought me much pleasure.
It has made me laugh to read about the press conference of Trump's lawyers at the Four Season's Total Landscaping office's parking lot next door to an adult bookstore in an industrial area of Philadelphia. I still have so many questions about that, one of them being- did the person who answered the phone when someone called to schedule the event explain that no, this was NOT the Four Seasons Hotel or did they just go with it and book the place as requested? I can't imagine that anyone else has ever asked to use the facility for a press conference before. How did the person on the phone come up with a price? And what asshole decided to just run with it when the mistake was discovered?
And it does make me feel good to know that Biden is already forging ahead with plans for his new administration. Remember when the Ignorant Orange One didn't even realize he was going to have to fill a whole lot of positions like...a cabinet? Being an American during his reign has been like a patient with a brain tumor allowing a high school student to perform unsupervised neurosurgery on him. Say what you will about "politicians," it's so nice to have a president-elect who actually knows how government works from the bones on up.
That's enough. I need to go put the chickens up and start supper and finish folding some laundry. Mr. Moon is sitting in a deer stand. He got up at 4:30 this morning to go sit in one and came home with some lovely videos of the woods at dawn. He rested and ate and has gone out again.
Please keep a good thought for my crazy little Maurice with her constantly injured nose. I miss her bad. I want her to be okay and safe.
I want us all to be okay and safe.