Hank and Levon at El Patron two years ago.
And then this one from Lily.
And then I cried off and on all day.
I'm still crying. It's ridiculous but I suppose it has been a much-needed small breakdown in the midst of all of this. Yesterday was such an intensely good day and there is always yin to the yang, down to the up, dark to the light.
I forced myself outside to do some weeding in the camellia bed and I hated every second of it even though I was listening to another Alexander McCall Smith book in his series about Scotland Street. The Peppermint Tea Chronicles.
No one can be as sweetly philosophical in his characters' musings, no one can create such gentle and humorous and heart-touching people to speak and act upon the stage he sets for them and sometimes he gives us someone to absolutely abhor along with it all to give (once again) balance. Reading these books is a break in the horror that life can be. There was a moment in this book when I almost worried that a character might possibly be a pedophile but no, no, of course not! It was only a circus clown trying to get rid of an extra unwanted puppy by foisting it off on two small boys, one of them Bertie, quite possibly one of my favorite characters in all of literature.
But even with all of that I was miserable. Hot and sweaty and itchy, irrationally hating the invasive plants I was pulling, wondering where all of my ferns that I so carefully transplanted from the woods have gone. So then I set myself the even more unpleasant task of trimming a sago in that bed which caused me to itch and hive even more. Finally I said enough and came in and laid down on the bed and read for awhile and then slept.
It rained one short, fast, hard coming-down of it and then stopped and now it is cooler and a little less muggy and the frogs are pleading with their raingods who have croaky, trilling names whom they call upon over and over in supplication.
Last night it was a true and real joy for me to see those Rolling Stones play "You Can't Always Get What You Want" from their own houses. I know I am prejudiced but it was, by far, the best performance. When I saw the screen come up with four different rectangles on it labeled, "Mick Cam", "Keith Cam", "Ronny Cam", "Charlie Cam" I squealed like a fourteen year old girl and it was elegant simplicity from those four beautiful old men with the faces they have earned and burned into themselves with every moment of their lives.
I was in heaven for five minutes.
It is hard for anyone who did not grow up with the Stones as the soundtrack of their young lives to understand what it means to see them now, still alive, still playing. And here's something- That song is the one that Trump for some completely unknown reason has played many, many times at his rallies despite the Stones telling him not to. So there was that. And of course the message that you can't always get what you want but that if you try sometimes, you get what you need is timely as we all want to move back into the world at least a bit more, to hold the ones we love, to earn our livings, to feel as if we can move freely while knowing that this is NOT what we need to do which is to listen to the scientists, the doctors, the people who actually know what they're talking about.
I want to add one more thing here- Charlie Watts is the coolest man on the planet. I think that even Keith would agree with me here. He played air drums on this song. I think it may have been because syncing drums with the rest of it over such space and time might have been too difficult. But what do I know? I just know that he was there with his drumsticks, keeping his own time which is the Stones Time as he has been doing for over fifty years now, being the mattress, as Keith says, upon which they lay.
All right. Let's see how tomorrow goes. I remember so very long ago when I first started writing this blog and I posted on a Sunday about how much I hate Sundays and how if I had a church it would be the Church of the Batshit Crazy and that our sermons would speak of and celebrate miracles like Keith Richards still being alive and this was before I read his book, Life, and fell in love with him and all those bandmates of his.
This is a Sunday where I have truly been batshit crazy but the Rolling Stones have once again given me the hymns I need to get through it.
Tomorrow will be better.
Good for you, Mary, and good for all of us, six or seven or eight weeks in. And thanks for the lovely baby pictures of your lovely babies.ReplyDelete
Oh, Joanne. And thank you for sharing your life. We all help each other, don't we?Delete
Kids grow up so fast...thanks for the photos and yes, tomorrow will be better. I'm almost finished with that book myself. I love that series.ReplyDelete
And Lord, isn't McCall Smith prolific? He must write a book a month. I'm enjoying this one.Delete
I do like Alexander McCall Smith, thanks for reminding me.ReplyDelete
And thank you for your being totally open with your feelings. It's liberating to read. It lets me exhale.
What's the point in trying to pretend to be happy all the damn time? No one is. Well, maybe a few people but I would suspect some pathology there.Delete
I'm sorry you had a tearful day. I find myself looking at family photos more each day and then wanting to be with family all the more.ReplyDelete
Last night and the Stones. Yes. Just yes! After growing up with them to be able to see them at this age looking and sounding so good, did I say at this age - well it was so very good! Tom and I just sat and grinned while they sang. Never would I have dreamed that at 67 I would be still watching them perform together, looking and sounding so much *them*. There's something mystical behind all that you know. And yes, Charlie Watts is cool and his great big smile got to me.
"There's something mystical behind all that you know."Delete
I agree. Also mythical. It's rare to see Charlie smile. It was such a joy to catch him doing it, wasn't it?
Dearest Mary-the crying and the moments of normalcy, whatever that is. Seems like we've been living in a horror movie since the election of WTF and it just got way worse. And then beauty floods into our hearts with the love of our children and grandchildren and our friends and the gorgeous spring, which continues to show up. And the Stones and all the other musicians that played and sang and wished us all well. Watching Outlander on Facetime with my daughter.. Dancing in my living room with my dance crew. so gratitude and grief, back and forth.ReplyDelete
I love you forever, dear friend. To infinity and beyond.
You're right- it's been an absolute horror show but the sweet and good things are still here. We just have to keep our minds clear if we can to let them in. I love the idea of you dancing in your living room! I love YOU!Delete
I'm sorry you felt like batshit crazy today, but I'm glad you cried at least some of it out. I watched that video last night and nearly swooned and nearly jumped through the screen into Charlie's lap and let him play me. Yikes.ReplyDelete
Oh my goodness, Elizabeth. You have given me the vapors, honey. Pass the smelling salts!Delete
Love you so.
I used to hate Sundays so much when I was young. It was the day we were all trapped inside with my dad, or so it felt. I started going to church with friends to escape and would go twice on Sundays, because, cute boys:)ReplyDelete
Our grandson stayed with us yesterday and he's still sleeping upstairs. Long story. Today will be a better day. And crying and having a bad day, that's okay too.
Sending hugs and love.
Yes. Any day that the "dad" was at home all day was a very bad day. Ugh. Plus other stuff...Delete
Anyway, yeah, Sundays are generally not so bad for me now but sometimes one will come along that shoots me right back to the bad old days.
I'm so glad that your little man is safe and well with you. Give him a hug for me.
I did not see any of it.I do not control the remote and he wasn't interested. I could have insisted but... anyway, you have no idea how much I relied on that particular song throughout my 50 years since I heard it. you can't always get what you want but if you try you just might find you get what you need.ReplyDelete
I took the day off from the fence Sunday and yoga too. I cooked instead. spent the day in the kitchen while it rained gently off and on.
You can find that performance all over the internet. From everything I've read, it sort of was the hands-down winner in almost everyone's opinion, not just mine.Delete
I'm glad you got a day off. I bet you were back at it today.
I love that image of the Stones! I didn't see the concert (I don't even know if it was on here) but don't you think they wanted to do it partly because it was just such a DIFFERENT way for them to perform? Like, they responded to the newness and the challenge of it. They're so cool. Keeping things fresh.ReplyDelete
Sorry for the tears. I am having the opposite response -- like, becoming so numb to it all that I'm almost forgetting it's even happening. Life is seeming more and more normal. Except I'm not working. Oh yeah, there's that.
Of course, I don't have grandchildren to cuddle, so there's a critical difference between us!
The Stones were supposed to be on tour this spring/summer so I'm sure they were ready to get a few ya-ya's out and yes, do something different. Check it out online.ReplyDelete
I'm generally pretty numb myself but yesterday the anesthesia suddenly wore off for a little while, I guess, and I just could hardly bear it. But of course one does.