The Terrific and Terrible Three were in high spirits today.
Unlike their Mermer.
I've had one of those days where just about everything concerning humanity makes me want to slap the shit out of someone.
Not Lily and Jessie or the three grands in that picture whom I had lunch with but just about everyone else. Okay, not Mr. Moon or my other kids and grandchildren either but you know what I mean. We went to Ruby Tuesday for lunch which is quite unusual for us. The girls wanted salad bars and on the lunch menu you can get a deal that includes salad bar and little fried chicken sliders with french fries so that moms and kids can share for a bargain. I got just the salad bar and it was, to my taste, completely tasteless. Except for the croutons. They were delicious and probably had about a tablespoon of butter baked into each one. I should have gotten a damn hamburger. I think they must have some sort of flavor extractor they use on their vegetables. Or maybe it was just me.
The kids were a bit rambunctious and wanted to play under the table. I didn't mind that at all but their mothers weren't so happy about it. At one point Lily and Jessie had gone back to the salad bar and the kids got back under the table and I said, "Y'all, your mothers said for you not to do that. Don't you listen to your mamas?"
"No," they said, and they continued to play.
Oh well. Like I said- it didn't bother me.
After lunch I went to JoAnn Fabric to get a new lightbulb for my Singer. While I was there I looked at patterns, hoping to maybe get one for a dress with sleeves for the theoretical fall and winter we have approaching. I found this one that I thought was so cute.
(Let us hope that that child's feet are not that big, okay?)
Now. I don't know how many of you have ever shopped for patterns at a fabric store. I imagine that us older folks remember doing just that frequently when we were young. You'd go through the pattern books and write down the number of the pattern you wanted with a little pencil they had available, on a little piece of paper they also had right there for you to use and then you went to the big, metal cabinets with the deep, sliding metal drawers. I bet you can even remember how it felt and sounded to slide those drawers open. Each cabinet was labeled on the outside with the pattern brands and numbers it held. Like, "Simplicity: 1065-1175."
Well, JoAnn still has the big metal cabinets, same feel, same sound, same labels AND NONE OF THEM ARE CORRECT! You just have to open each Gee Dee drawer to see which patterns are actually inside. And guess what? Out of the four patterns I found that would do, not a damn one of them was in a drawer. Like for the one above they might have had 6590 and 6592 but they did not have 6591.
Fucking frustrating as hell.
None of this improved my mood or outlook about the human race. I almost wanted to volunteer to come in and straighten out that shit. But of course I didn't.
OH! And to make me feel even better, I ran into a midwife that I used to work with back in the day at a birth center. We worked together for a long time and we went through a lot together, as people do when they are attending births. She's retired now and her daughter has taken her place as owner and midwife at the birth center but this friend still keeps her license up because she does things like, oh, go all over the world and volunteer as a midwife.
Like- she spent a year in China! And has gone to the Philippines and I don't know where all. She also just got back from Burning Man. She has an RV that she travels around in, having adventures. She's also walked the Camino de Santiago Trail in Spain at least twice.
And she has ten grandchildren.
When she asked me what I was up to I mumbled something about uh, grandchildren, chickens, garden...
I did not mention ironing.
It really was good to see her though and when we hugged good-bye, I hugged her hard, channeling all of the love I felt for her for delivering all of the babies she's delivered safely into their mothers' arms and all of the births we had shared. And I kissed her and she kissed me.
Still, it all made me feel even more inadequate and lazy and a waste of air and water.
And cowardly. And ridiculous.
So by the time I got to the cash register with my non-pattern purchases and the girl asked me if I'd found everything I was looking for and I said, "No," and told her about not finding any of the patterns I wanted and she chirped, "Sorry 'bout that!" and then proceeded to tell me to have a great day! I really did want to slap her face but I know it was mostly projection. She hasn't got anything to do with their inventory.
And then I went to Whole Foods where all of the women shoppers from age 18 to 108 were thin and wearing work-out clothes. I swear- one woman's yoga pants were bagging off of her.
This served to make me feel even worse. And I walked around the store hating all of the new-agey products and weeping inside and wishing that I'd been born a hundred years ago except for that would have meant no air-conditioning and god knows I couldn't deal with that.
I have no one to blame but myself for my useless and fat existence. I know that. Which is the real and true reason I've felt so bitchy and mean all day.
So I guess I'll just make a stir fry for our supper and then maybe do a little beading on Maggie's dress because yes, I bought some damn beads because right now all I feel up to is sitting in front of the TV, doing pointless needlework.
One thing that does cheer my heart is an article that someone wrote about my son Hank and his trivia. You can read it HERE.
I have some amazing children but I have to admit that they were born that way. All I did was not mess them up too bad.
Time to go chop up a bunch of vegetables.
Love...Ms. Moon Who Is Not A Superior Human Being In Any Way, Shape, or Form But Is At Least Not A Republican Evangelical