The Terrific and Terrible Three were in high spirits today.
Unlike their Mermer.
I've had one of those days where just about everything concerning humanity makes me want to slap the shit out of someone.
Not Lily and Jessie or the three grands in that picture whom I had lunch with but just about everyone else. Okay, not Mr. Moon or my other kids and grandchildren either but you know what I mean. We went to Ruby Tuesday for lunch which is quite unusual for us. The girls wanted salad bars and on the lunch menu you can get a deal that includes salad bar and little fried chicken sliders with french fries so that moms and kids can share for a bargain. I got just the salad bar and it was, to my taste, completely tasteless. Except for the croutons. They were delicious and probably had about a tablespoon of butter baked into each one. I should have gotten a damn hamburger. I think they must have some sort of flavor extractor they use on their vegetables. Or maybe it was just me.
The kids were a bit rambunctious and wanted to play under the table. I didn't mind that at all but their mothers weren't so happy about it. At one point Lily and Jessie had gone back to the salad bar and the kids got back under the table and I said, "Y'all, your mothers said for you not to do that. Don't you listen to your mamas?"
"No," they said, and they continued to play.
Oh well. Like I said- it didn't bother me.
After lunch I went to JoAnn Fabric to get a new lightbulb for my Singer. While I was there I looked at patterns, hoping to maybe get one for a dress with sleeves for the theoretical fall and winter we have approaching. I found this one that I thought was so cute.
(Let us hope that that child's feet are not that big, okay?)
Now. I don't know how many of you have ever shopped for patterns at a fabric store. I imagine that us older folks remember doing just that frequently when we were young. You'd go through the pattern books and write down the number of the pattern you wanted with a little pencil they had available, on a little piece of paper they also had right there for you to use and then you went to the big, metal cabinets with the deep, sliding metal drawers. I bet you can even remember how it felt and sounded to slide those drawers open. Each cabinet was labeled on the outside with the pattern brands and numbers it held. Like, "Simplicity: 1065-1175."
Well, JoAnn still has the big metal cabinets, same feel, same sound, same labels AND NONE OF THEM ARE CORRECT! You just have to open each Gee Dee drawer to see which patterns are actually inside. And guess what? Out of the four patterns I found that would do, not a damn one of them was in a drawer. Like for the one above they might have had 6590 and 6592 but they did not have 6591.
Fucking frustrating as hell.
None of this improved my mood or outlook about the human race. I almost wanted to volunteer to come in and straighten out that shit. But of course I didn't.
OH! And to make me feel even better, I ran into a midwife that I used to work with back in the day at a birth center. We worked together for a long time and we went through a lot together, as people do when they are attending births. She's retired now and her daughter has taken her place as owner and midwife at the birth center but this friend still keeps her license up because she does things like, oh, go all over the world and volunteer as a midwife.
Like- she spent a year in China! And has gone to the Philippines and I don't know where all. She also just got back from Burning Man. She has an RV that she travels around in, having adventures. She's also walked the Camino de Santiago Trail in Spain at least twice.
And she has ten grandchildren.
When she asked me what I was up to I mumbled something about uh, grandchildren, chickens, garden...
I did not mention ironing.
It really was good to see her though and when we hugged good-bye, I hugged her hard, channeling all of the love I felt for her for delivering all of the babies she's delivered safely into their mothers' arms and all of the births we had shared. And I kissed her and she kissed me.
Still, it all made me feel even more inadequate and lazy and a waste of air and water.
And cowardly. And ridiculous.
So by the time I got to the cash register with my non-pattern purchases and the girl asked me if I'd found everything I was looking for and I said, "No," and told her about not finding any of the patterns I wanted and she chirped, "Sorry 'bout that!" and then proceeded to tell me to have a great day! I really did want to slap her face but I know it was mostly projection. She hasn't got anything to do with their inventory.
And then I went to Whole Foods where all of the women shoppers from age 18 to 108 were thin and wearing work-out clothes. I swear- one woman's yoga pants were bagging off of her.
This served to make me feel even worse. And I walked around the store hating all of the new-agey products and weeping inside and wishing that I'd been born a hundred years ago except for that would have meant no air-conditioning and god knows I couldn't deal with that.
I have no one to blame but myself for my useless and fat existence. I know that. Which is the real and true reason I've felt so bitchy and mean all day.
So I guess I'll just make a stir fry for our supper and then maybe do a little beading on Maggie's dress because yes, I bought some damn beads because right now all I feel up to is sitting in front of the TV, doing pointless needlework.
One thing that does cheer my heart is an article that someone wrote about my son Hank and his trivia. You can read it HERE.
I have some amazing children but I have to admit that they were born that way. All I did was not mess them up too bad.
Time to go chop up a bunch of vegetables.
Love...Ms. Moon Who Is Not A Superior Human Being In Any Way, Shape, or Form But Is At Least Not A Republican Evangelical
Sometimes you just have a pissy day. This post made me smile frequently because I have similar thoughts when everything in the world is pissing me off.ReplyDelete
I know we all have these days. They do pass.Delete
You may not believe this, but you are very charning. So happy I found your blog.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Sandra! And hello!Delete
A pissy day is the perfect way to describe it. I get those too. I feel fat, old and boring. What is the point of my life? Mostly it passes:)ReplyDelete
Exactly- what is the point of my life?Delete
And yeah. Mostly.
Thanks for the link to Hank. OMG, he must be an info sponge. I am past in awe. And then the nice commentor, who said he played completely fair and was nice and beyond to all. Sigh.ReplyDelete
My friend who runs a dog boarding kennel and hires high school and college kids tells me hair raising stories about kids. Your JoAnn Fabric staff who cannot do a job and then wish you a nice day over it pale in comparison to kids she has hired. She has had great ones. One of them is the kennel manager now. But some who've come along are just heart breaking. And it's their hearts that are broken, learning the world doesn't intend to pay fifteen dollars an hour for their talent.
Anyway, hooray for Hank.
Hank is unique and wonderful and brilliant. One of the most brilliant things he's ever done is to find a job that suits him so well. Not only the gathering and organizing of the information but also the ability to stand in front of people and talk and, well- be the star of the show! His dad is a guitar player and a performer and Hank has inherited some of that, I think.Delete
I know that there are plenty of kids who are great employees but that girl wasn't one of them. And it may well be a problem with training and management.
I'm 46 and severely disabled from autoimmune disease. I recently went to a family reunion where everyone was talking about their exciting lives and travels. I had been drinking a glass of wine and for a moment I forgot myself and started talking about my embroidery...it's the one thing I *can* do, but I know better than to mention it to anyone. All of the people in the room gave me this crazy, disgusted look. Finally someone said, "so, you live like a 95 year old grandma?" and they all erupted in laughter. Ugggggggghhhhh. How unfortunate we all can't be rich, healthy, and world travelers.ReplyDelete
What a shit way to treat someone. And at a family reunion? Kick those trash relatives to the curb. You deserve better.Delete
The sad part? I suspect they truly had no idea they were being insulting, and they played it off like I lacked a sense of humor. Many people don't take the time to really think about what another person's perspective might be. Fortunately these are relatives of my husband's that I rarely see. Thanks for understanding my point of view.Delete
Y'all should pop over to Violet's Instagram page. She does some awesome needlework! (Click her name and follow the link.).Delete
Awwww...thanks Julia! <3Delete
YOU ARE a needleworker, Violet. An artist in your own right. And those relatives are, quite frankly, shits. And besides that, they are ageists.Delete
Thank you Mary! And yes, the remark they made was totally ageist. Few people can even do needlework anymore in their 90s due to eyesight issues (a tragedy, in my humble opinion). To hell with the stereotypes about "old ladies"...one of the things I love about you is your refusal to put up with that bullshit. That, and you dislike religion as much as I do. Your deep love for chickens simply adds to your charm. :)Delete
Who knew Hank would grow up to create community for people seeking a place to feel included, to belong. It’s a big calling but he does it with generosity and humor and intellect and grace. Your boy. I kind of love your pissy day. We all have those days. And then our perspective shifts again.ReplyDelete
You’re infinitely more beautiful that the human with baggy yoga pants. I promise you.
I am very, very proud of Hank. He is, in his very own way, a warrior. He has educated a lot of people and I've probably learned more from him than anyone else. He's also powerfully funny and incredibly loving.Delete
Yeah. Perspectives on life do change daily, don't they? Thank god. Otherwise a lot of us would be a great deal of trouble.
I've been hormonal and weepy and pissy for days now, Mary. I feel disgusting and worthless and I, too, keep wanting to slap the shit out of someone. So I do understand. I hope you feel better tomorrow.ReplyDelete
Years ago I saw a therapy technique where they had giant inflatables that looked like people...they put the inflatables in a private room, and then patients were given large bats to beat them with/swear/scream/whatever. Could be useful, no? ;)Delete
Sorry, blogger likes to use my old aliases...this is me, Violet. :)Delete
Maybe some of it is the heat. I think it is for me. I can't get outside and do what I love to do because of it and that really does affect me. And hormones? Well, although they don't affect me nearly the way they used to, they still raise their heads and roar sometimes. That shit is REAL. Hank in there, Jennifer.Delete
This post actually made me chuckle and you are so a superior human being! I understand about pissy days because I have them too.ReplyDelete
Well, I don't think I'm superior in any way but at least I'm not a serial killer or something.Delete
kudos to Hank, loved reading the article. Love Hank. You must have done something right! By now you could probably make your own patterns, just need the patience and confidence to do it, I betcha. Also I have been in your shoes- that is why I do not go to reunions.ReplyDelete
I wish I could sew without patterns but I just can't. I almost got to that point many years ago but then I let sewing go for quite awhile and I'll never get back there again, I'm afraid. I mean, I can make a doll pillow! But not a dress.Delete
Oh dear god, I will not refute your sorry opinion about yourself except to say what I find myself actually saying to the few Republican evangelicals I still talk to and that is: That's NOT TRUE. This is what is TRUE: You are a beautiful, rich, complex, hilarious, nurturing lover of life and all its ambiguities whose existence (yours, not the ambiguities) blesses all those that encounter it.ReplyDelete
Oh, Elizabeth. I love you so much.Delete
Sending you a big hug from Harpenden....hope you feel better today! xReplyDelete
Thank you, Frances. I feel okay.Delete
Oh, boy. Shit days can do you in. Nothing like hanging around with someone who seems to be in the running for a Nobel Peace prize to make you feel hugely insignificant. Except--you very definitely are not insignificant. Especially to all the people you mentioned throughout your post. And to us, your readers.ReplyDelete
The Nobel Peace Prize- that made me laugh. But hell- why not? She's a pretty damn amazing woman.Delete
I second Elizabeth above. And by the way, I don't think yoga pants SHOULD bag off someone, should they? Sounds like that woman was too skinny.ReplyDelete
And why didn't that cashier offer to help you find what you were looking for, or see if she could order it for you, or SOMETHING? Good grief. Some customer service!
Of course that woman was skinny! Don't you know by now that women are supposed to look like twelve-year old boys with breasts? Boys who work out? Damn, Steve.Delete
(Just kidding. I love you.)
And no, the cashier showed no inclination at all to offer any assistance.
your existence is not useless and fat. your existence is loving and cushy. and as for your friend who is gallivanting all over the world, just how much time do you think she spends loving on those 10 grandchildren? I'm pissed at the human race just about all the time. not individuals but geez. I can't even look at the news. I was heartened though to discover my neighbors down the street who I've become friends with are NOT Trump supporters! you have no idea how hard I have avoided the subject of politics with them because support for Trump is a deal breaker. whew!ReplyDelete
and yeah I do remember buying patterns when you could get the one size you wanted instead of 6 sizes all on one pattern.
Oh- I love that- "cushy." Yep. That's me! She might be a wonderful grandmother! Some of those ten are step-grands and she did say that one or two live in S. America so she probably doesn't see them very often.Delete
I am SO glad to hear that your neighbors are not Trump supporters. What a relief!
And yeah- that all-sizes-included pattern thing is a mess. Especially for kids. You cut off the bigger sizes and so it's no good when the child grows. Who thought that up? And they are SO expensive!
You should have told your old nursing friend that you write a blog which is filled with honesty, humanity, love and intelligence. It is a blog which many people from around America and the world beyond have enjoyed because it speaks to them about what it means to be human. I doubt that she is even capable of creating such a wonder-some thing and perhaps her respect and affection for you would soar if you gave her your blog address.ReplyDelete
Well, we all do what we do and this woman is best at being an amazing wild woman who says YES! to life and living to the fullest in her own wild way which I do truly admire. I think she'd probably be bored to tears with my blog. We worked together okay but we had our differences and I think she may not have been too sad to see me go. But thank you, Mr. P. Those were beautiful words and I cherish them.Delete
What YP said. Although I have no doubt her affection and respect for you is already soaring, just because you’re you.ReplyDelete
Well, see what I said to Mr. P. above. I think she thought I was too cautious when it came time to perhaps transfer mothers- I had a nursing background while her background was direct-entry midwifery school. And honestly, that has proven to be a reflection of our different attitudes towards life. She is more trusting of a good outcome than I am.Delete
I’m a fellow member of the “Feeling Old, Fat and Useless Club” and therefore am qualified to tell you that you do not belong here. You are a wondrous person and I marvel at you. Plus, you have the most amazing readers in your community. I wish I could meet every one of the beautiful souls who’ve replied to you!ReplyDelete
We have a wonderful community here, don't we? I feel so fortunate. Thanks for what you said, Joy. I'm glad you're here too.Delete