Thursday, April 4, 2019

What's It All Mean, Mr. Natural, Version CXIIV

Excuse me. Isn't it time for you to go throw the scratch?

Because Dearie sleeps in a tree rather than in the hen house, she is outside and roaming before the other chickens get out in the morning. I do not mind her on the porch because I have so much affection for her. She lets me stroke her soft feathers and is completely comfortable with me.

My fine little dinosaur. 

So. Guess what? 

In a non-amazing turn of events, my dryer quit working last night. I don't know about you but I suspect collusion. 
That's right. 
Collusion between my old washer and my dryer. What else can explain this? 
My husband was on it, though. He took the truck to work this morning and called the woman we always deal with at the appliance store. She was quite happy to get rid of the dryer that was the other part of the pair with the washer we bought last week. Not happy enough to give it to us but happy nonetheless. 
And as we SPEAK, the dryer is drying. Mr. Moon is heading to Minnesota tomorrow to meet up with his old Auburn basketball teammate to watch that tournament thingee Auburn's playing in. So he needed clean clothes. And he wanted to get my laundry situation all squared away before he left because he's that kind of man. 
I'd show you a picture of the new dryer but it looks just like the new washer so what's the point? 
Right now the dryer's in the spot where the old dryer was in the old laundry area because the wiring  isn't quite finished in the new laundry room. When we move that thing in there it's going to look like a space command center. 

I took my first real decent walk in quite awhile this morning. 
I almost died. 

Not really. 

I drove down to Farm Road and parked at the north end and walked from there. I love Farm Road although it's almost all uphill going north to south. But of course that means that it's almost all downhill from south to north. 
And it's pretty as can be. 

Also, I saw zero cars on my walk today. 

Well, that was fascinating, right? 

In another non-amazing turn of events the god of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (you're not supposed to call them Mormons anymore) gave the prophets a new revelation concerning the children of gay members of the church. They can now be baptized just like "regular" kids. Also, being in a same-sex marriage is no longer grounds for excommunication. It's still wrong but they're not going to kick you out. You aren't "apostate" as they say.
It's a bit difficult to understand. Policy versus doctrine. To be honest, I don't understand it but it does seem that the Mormon god reveals these sorts of things when people start leaving the church because of the old policies. And of course, "fervent prayer" is always involved. 
For example- polygamy, Black men in the priesthood, and now this. 
What a bunch of fucking crap. 
I wonder if their god will ever reveal that humans born without penises and testicles can be part of their so-called "priesthood." 
Not any time soon, I'm betting. 

So that's that. I did figure out what I was going to talk about yesterday that I couldn't remember and it wasn't important at all. I'd just done some googling to see if I could figure out this weird pain below my knee when I kneel on it. 
No. I couldn't. 
Everything to do with messed-up knees seems to be a result of one or two of two things: Injury from repetitive motion and old age. 

Thanks WebMD!
At least none of the sites I visited told me I was going to die according to the symptoms I have. 
Always a plus. 

I'm going to go make supper which is going to involve a few mustard green leaves. Not the giant ones. Just a few normal-sized ones. And some kale. And some collards. And some chicken thighs. 
It's going to be good. I hope. 
Don't tell Dearie about the chicken thighs. Not that she'd care. Hell, she'd eat chicken thighs if I gave her some. Chickens are nothing if not practical. Also, their god is eminently sensible in all regards. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. You'd need to invite some people over to help eat the giant mustard leaves! I injured both my knees, falling onto them from a smallish unexpected drop-off one very icy winter several years ago. Freaking pain was crazy,but did I go to a doctor..? No. They've healed and give me weather reports now.

    1. And there you go- we don't need no stinkin' doctors. Once I ripped the calf muscle in my right leg. It hurt like damn hell and turned every color in the rainbow before it healed up. You can still see the difference in my calves. But I did not go to a doctor.
      I am not sure that either of us is especially wise.

    2. I too am not sure though my now doctor told me they healed only a bit slower than they would have with the repair surgery I could have had. Bodies are so damn complicated

  2. I love knee reports Mine were fine until I spent three 14 hour days walking a concrete floor. All they transmit now is pain.
    Does Dearie have an extra long neck?
    I will not admit Mormons are nearing decent until they stop recruiting young women to birth families of Mormon babies.
    My neighbor and I took in a matinee of Beach Bum, today. We had the theater to ourselves, but we probably would have sung out loud and danced to the music irregardless.

    1. Knees are definitely NOT proof of "intelligent design" are they?
      Dearie's neck is pretty long. She's a skinny hen though so maybe it just looks longer. I don't know.
      Mormons. The great American religion! Right up there with Seventh Day Adventists.
      You saw the Beach Bum? Did you like it? I sort of want to go see it again. I miss Matthew McConaughey's laugh.

  3. Mormons will always be fugged up Mormons. Their god is one messed up son of a bitch. But, as we know, money makes it work so, let's please those folks with cash so we can build a new compound and keep the women folk barefoot and pregnant, you know, for our very own planet when we die, ruled by big daddy. all religions are whack! Love the road on which you stroll , sorry about your knee hurting, Ice, they say, cures all.

    1. And I just heard a woman on NPR talking about how ice doesn't help. I don't know. I didn't hear the whole thing. But if it feels good to put ice on something, then I say go for it. Same with heat. Whatever.
      Yeah. All those Mormon men in charge of their own planets with all their wives. They'll be happy. The women will probably still be cooking and washing and cleaning baby butts.

  4. I have a crushed medial knee, so don't really walk safely anymore and use a wheelchair. Surgery not recommended. Sorry about your dryer. Will Mr.Moon take you on the desired road trip when he returns? Ice packs are the happy secret to old age.

    1. Oh, e! I did not know that about you. I am so sorry! Dryers are nothing compared to knees.
      I think Mr. Moon will take me somewhere if I ask him. He's sweet like that.

  5. Dearie looks very intense and curious. She's quite pretty. Your walk looks very pretty too. Our snow is gone but not really any green yet. I'm waiting.

    No baby yet either.

  6. I'd be pretty scared of a chicken god, I think.
    That dinosaur stare is intense!

    1. Chickens sure can be scary with those beady-eyes of theirs. No wonder kids are afraid of them sometimes. Some roosters are as tall as two-year olds. Can you imagine standing eye-to-eye with a rooster?

    2. Jeeze, Jurrassic Park, eat your heart out.

      When I moved to the country as a just-7-year-old, I was scared of everything, chickens included. Cows still freak me out a bit, to be honest.

  7. I love those photos of Dearie! It really makes you wonder what's going on in that brain. I think it's pretty much FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD.

    I didn't know the Mormons had made those changes. I guess that's a good thing, overall. Inching towards progress, right?

    I suppose it's just as well you've replaced your dryer so the appliances now match and will be the same age! Neat and tidy.

    1. I believe you're probably right about the brain of a chicken.
      Too little too late on the Mormons if you ask me.
      It will be nice to have matching machines in that space. I keep thinking about how this house didn't have plumbing or electricity when it was built and now here I am, with all these new modern appliances filling up the old spaces. Strange and rather cook, I think.

  8. what a fine conspiracy between the washer and dryer...let's get Ms Moon a new laundry room. and honestly, why would any self respecting woman want to be a priest to that mean old white big daddy in the sky?

    1. Oh, but priests can heal and give blessings and all that shit. All women can do is, oh...create life.

  9. Laundry nirvana has arrived in Lloyd. Jim always said that the thing that would drive him out of the full time living in the RV would be laundromats. It's just such a wonderful thing to throw a load in whenever you want, and not compete for the dryers. Dearie is one of the best pieces of evidence that chickens were dinosaurs, she looks the part.

    1. Yep, laundry nirvana. That's it exactly. I feel fabulously wealthy and lucky.
      Dearie does look like my idea of a dinosaur, anyway. A very pretty dinosaur.

  10. Yep, everything to do with everything messed-up health wise has to do with age. From a certain age onwards it seems. Why didn't they tell us this earlier. The bastards. That's another collusion, I swear.

    I love your dinosaur.

    1. I do remember my grandfather sitting on the porch and saying, "Don't get old, Mary. Don't get old."
      I realize now he WAS trying to tell me something. He hated it.
      Thank you for loving my dinosaur.

  11. Sneaky dryer. Appliances tend to be bought together when one is setting up a domestic situation, so they often tend to become obsolete in unison too, or so i noticed when everything in my 20 year old kitchen died at the same time. But how wonderful to have a sleek new space machine to keep the other one company!

    1. You are right! These machines make me laugh with their space-age design. And yet, they seem quite friendly, especially with the little tunes they play me.


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