Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sunday And It's Lis's Birthday

I actually went upstairs to take that picture from a window. It's a rainy day and I was trying to get that perspective of how it looks here when the streets are wet and the trees are dripping and the sky is gray.
Well, whatever. If you look carefully in the lower right part you can see one of my Canary Island Date palms, all cut back to nothing because of this last winter's freeze. It will come back. There's green in the middle, new fronds coming out. No metaphors here today, folks. Just a botanical truth.

Not much of anything here today. I've got a case of the Sunday blues so thick you could cut 'em with a knife. I wish someone would cut 'em with a knife. I wish a lot of things today, most of them ending with "and then I got in the bed and pulled the covers over my head and everyone left me alone."

Yeah. Well.

I've already raised my voice to Mr. Moon several times. For no good reason. He talked to me. He asked me some questions. Questions having to do with things like, "Aren't we almost out of milk?" Yeah. Mean, mean man. What is he thinking, asking me questions on a day like today?
I've also kicked Elvis. Not very hard. But hard enough to get him off of Mable. Yes. That's right. I kicked the rooster off a hen.
And I am not ashamed at all.

What am I so mad about today? Because obviously, I am. Mad at something. Some one. Whatever.

Mostly me, I think. It's Lis's birthday and I could be over at Gatorbone, helping her with her house concert and helping celebrate her birthday. But am I? No. I am not. I am right here being crazy. I was there last year, and we had such a grand time.
Read about it here, if you want. I made her a sweet potato cake with caramel frosting. Is anyone going to make her a cake this year? Not me, it would appear.

So what's stopping me from getting in the car and going? God knows I could use a three-hour drive by myself.
Well. Nothing. Nothing is stopping me but the crazies. And I have a rehearsal today. And, and, and....

Forgive me, Lizzie. I love you so. I am more glad you were born than you can imagine. I called but no one answered the phone. I imagine you are so busy, trying to get things ready for the concert. Cleaning and cooking and making everything beautiful, the way you always do. Do you know how fully you walk in beauty, dear woman, dear friend? Well. You do. You walk in beauty and you sing in beauty and you live in beauty and you make beautiful things with your strong, beautiful hands. You write beautiful songs. You have a beautiful love with your beautiful husband. You are, to put it bluntly, beautiful in all ways.

I wish I was there to tell you this in person but really, you wouldn't want me there today. You know me well enough to just look at me and know that. I'd be the one hiding in the guest room. I'd be the one you'd have to worry about, and you have too much to take care of as it is. And I'll see you next weekend when we celebrate Jessie's birthday. I bet I'll be feeling better by then. I'll not be kicking roosters or raising my voice. I'll put a rose in my hair and bring one for you and for Jessie too. I'll be celebrating the birthdays of two of the women I love most on this earth. One I gave birth to, one I have had the honor and joy of loving as a friend.

Call me, honey, if you get the time. If you get the chance. I'll tell you how much I love you. I'll cry. You know I will. But that's okay. You've heard me cry before. I've heard you cry, too. We should carry hankies, you and me. You in the sleeve of your pretty crocheted sweater. Me in the pocket of my cargo pants.

I'm thinking of you. I'm remembering this:

Okay. I'm crying. And that's all right. The sun is coming out. I'm wishing you a beautiful day.

I love you....Mary


  1. Happy Birthday Lis!

    I'm betting that someone is making her a birthday cake, Mommy, so don't you feel bad. There is just no time for that kind nonsense guilt.

    That was a beautiful birthday letter, and I love you lots and lots and more and more, my sweet mama girl.

  2. Oh, Ms. Moon. I don't have any real words, just good thoughts for you.

  3. I hope you feel better when the sunshine returns. It's gloomy here, too, near St. Augustine. Is there any reason why you can't climb back in bed and pull up the covers today? Some days that's the best you can do, for yourself and everyone else! If I didn't have deadlines to meet, that's where I would be today. Hugs to you.

  4. HoneyLuna- And you are my sweet baby girl and I love you so much. Call Lis if you want. She's got Lon's phone. The one ending in 2506. Okay? She'd love to hear from her fairy god-daughter. I just talked to her.

    Kori- I am just a whiny bitch. Period. The end. And do not deserve any sympathy because I have the best life in the world and really, I do know it.

    E.- I've been out pulling weeds and am about to go to Monticello so things are okay and the sun keeps coming out and then going back in and then coming out and...
    Well. One of those days.

  5. So sorry you're mad -- I'm not sure what to say other than the usual trite stuff. I wish I lived nearby and we could go to a movie or something. Can you escape into a movie? Something stupid and funny or intelligent and provocative? Or dramatic? Or pornographic (that would make me laugh). I send you laughs.

  6. Hope you're feeling better. Rollercoaster emotional rides are awful, I'm sorry. Your daughter is a wise woman, isn't she?
    I'm off to Lis' page to leave a birthday wish. Hope you didn't need too many hankies when you talked to her. Oh, and we have that same wet gray almost sunny confused day here too, makes me crazy living inbetween.

  7. You have a good friend in Lis, and she has a good friend in you. That's beautiful.

  8. I suspect all this will pass. Some days I just feel off. Today I feel ambivalent and okay with whatever comes my way.

  9. Looks something from a poetry book. Love the white picket fences.

  10. Dear Ms. Moon, I'm so sorry about your Sunday blues. I am thinking of you, and sending all the lovely and positive thoughts in the universe to you. Also, all my love and hugs.

  11. Mary, it would be a beautiful dream to have you here for the birthday concert ~ don't worry about a cake for Lis ~ I'm baking one and so is Susan! And if you like, I'll give her an extra-big, sister-friend hug for you, via me. I know that Lis is loving you and so am I ~ hope the sun comes out in your world today!

  12. Wonderful tribute to Lis, and you are so lucky to have each other!!

  13. Elizabeth- Well, I went to the Opera House to watch the play in rehearsal and it was stupid and funny. So that helped! And now I'm going to weed some more. I'm just being an emotional baby. Probably because I don't have Owen today! Dang. He's my drug. But I thank you so much for all the sweet wishes and I wish we COULD go to a movie!

    Mel- No. Not too many hankies. The sun looks to be out for good now so maybe things will just LOOK UP!
    But I still miss Lis.

    Nancy C- I am so lucky in her love.

    Syd- Too true.

    Rebecca- It is a nice fence and it was here when we got here.

    Angie- And I appreciate that so much!

    Lulu- Yes! Give her hugs! And I would be there but I just have this damn weariness of the soul today. Most unfortunate and it sucks. Y'all just hug each other all up and I am so glad she's getting cakes!

    SJ- She is darn special, that girl.

  14. Well, it's Monday, and I imagine you are about go watch Owen try and rip all the paper covering off the table in the doc office. Only babies can make that unpleasant sound, starngely pleasant.

    Hope the sun stays out all day. Belated birthday to your sweet Lis. That picture of the two of you is perfection in it's dizzying joy.

    whining is okay. I'd say it's better to feel things so deeply , then to just be on autopilot . Although I envy people who are sometimes. It seems to be so productive .


  15. Deb- Yes. If I could choose, I think I would choose a bit less of the feeling, a bit more of the steady-on.

    Bethany- Dang girl. You're just sweet.

  16. This is a lovely tribute to Lis, whom I wish many, many, more happy birthdays.



  17. Dear Mz. Moon, I wish I could tell you really how much you mean to me. There's nothing like it in my world. I wish I could put all that love into the tip of a finger and touch you in the forehead with it and you'd never be sad again. My birthdays for many years now are memory upon sweet memory. Some of the most amazing days of my life. Like when we went down to the coast in the Cutlass convertible with our sunglasses on at night and smoked a boatload of cigs and had some weird-ass drinks. What WERE those?Truly some of the best meals I have ever seen much less eaten, the biggest laughs, the biggest crys. Our menfolk lookin' fine and treating us fine too.

    No one could have a more exquisite friend than you my dear. No one in this world. Know that I am sending you the BIGGEST hug right now, those kind where we rock back and forth and giggle a little bit. Okay, you could cry if you needed to. I am hoping that with your sweet grand boy in your arms today, the sun will be shining in your heart again, like you always make it shine in mine.

    xo xo

    Love to you my dearest,


  18. Lis- Every time I read this I cry. I think it is one of my favorite pieces of writing ever on this earth and I love you so much.


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