Leaves of an azalea which gets pissed on by Buster and Zeke almost every time they leave the back porch to go outside:
Leaves of an azalea four feet away which does not get pissed on by Buster and Zeke (or anyone else for that matter, as far as I know):
And the message here would be?
Something like this: Damn fucking dogs with their little hind legs and their little man-things and their azalea-killing pee-pee.
And also: Maybe for Earth Day I should just shoot them.
Oh, I feel your indignation. My dog has peed my front yard into a wasteland, and it used to be a lush groundcover of pachysandra the bees adored. He also tramples entire hostas and irises and daisies barking at the neighbors strolling by. I have been forced to put up ugly little wire fences until they stand a chance. He is not the most perceptive dog in the pack, and I am not the most patient doggymom when it comes to my flowers. He snapped my one and only yellow trillium in half chasing after a squirrel, lucky for me, it is sitting pretty in a vase on the window sill for days now. So sorry about your azaleas, they are one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteI could use a dogskin hat, personally.
ReplyDeleteI had no doubt that you would have a clothes line. Our is going up soon. There are no nosy neighbors to see that I don't have any underwear hanging....only Mr. Opossum and the various squirrels will know. And of course my wife.
ReplyDeleteMel- Fucking dogs. Why do we have them?
ReplyDeleteDTG- You skin 'em, you can have 'em.
Syd- Hey! Everyone wears underwear. Mostly. Why is the sight of it so offensive? I'll never figure this out.
oh, no! your poor plant!
ReplyDeletehappy earth day :)
I know the answer! Train the dogs to pee on the bamboo. BOTH problems solved.
ReplyDeleteHahahah. Bethany's gonna getcha.
ReplyDeleteI wrote this post and she suggested I get dog-diapers.
I had to restrain myself then. :)
I don't have any dogs, but there is a black one that makes his rounds through my yard every morning and now that I have seen these pictures, I think that may be why one of my azaleas is not looking like it should!
ReplyDeletewow, something that irritatin' would make me want to go see some Earth Day exhibits and listen to some good music while I'm at it!
ReplyDeleteBut that's just me. Earthdayjam.org
I used to have a beautiful azalea. The bush was huge and it flowered like crazy and it was just perfect in every way......win blue ribbon at the fair way........but a late April frost killed....and I cried (this happened a few years ago and it still makes me sad)
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh. Great last line.
ReplyDeletenotjustafemme- It suffers, that poor plant. Oh, how it suffers.
ReplyDeleteKathleen Scott- The bamboo grows outside of the dog's area. Plus...TRAIN my dogs? Ha. I wish.
Jo- Well, Bethany does love her plants, too, sweet girl that she is.
Lois- That or some homeless guy. (Just kidding- I hope!)
Magnum- You're so precious. Look- I'd have to wear a BRA and talk to strangers. Do you really think this is something I would do? I hope that many others show up and support that cause though. I really do.
Rebecca- Killed it? That is too sad.
Mwa- I live to make you laugh, dear.
I think about killing my goofy day every day if it makes you feel any better.
ReplyDeleteI meant dog. Way to ruin a good line, no?
ReplyDeleteYou can whack Buster and Zeke, but LEAVE PEARL ALONE. Pearl stays! Pearl is covered by a Sarcastic Bastard life insurance policy.
ReplyDelete