Thursday, April 22, 2010

Important Earth Day Message



Leaves of an azalea which gets pissed on by Buster and Zeke almost every time they leave the back porch to go outside:

Leaves of an azalea four feet away which does not get pissed on by Buster and Zeke (or anyone else for that matter, as far as I know):


And the message here would be?

Something like this: Damn fucking dogs with their little hind legs and their little man-things and their azalea-killing pee-pee.

And also: Maybe for Earth Day I should just shoot them.

15 comments:

  1. Oh, I feel your indignation. My dog has peed my front yard into a wasteland, and it used to be a lush groundcover of pachysandra the bees adored. He also tramples entire hostas and irises and daisies barking at the neighbors strolling by. I have been forced to put up ugly little wire fences until they stand a chance. He is not the most perceptive dog in the pack, and I am not the most patient doggymom when it comes to my flowers. He snapped my one and only yellow trillium in half chasing after a squirrel, lucky for me, it is sitting pretty in a vase on the window sill for days now. So sorry about your azaleas, they are one of my favorites.

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  2. I could use a dogskin hat, personally.

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  3. I had no doubt that you would have a clothes line. Our is going up soon. There are no nosy neighbors to see that I don't have any underwear hanging....only Mr. Opossum and the various squirrels will know. And of course my wife.

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  4. Mel- Fucking dogs. Why do we have them?

    DTG- You skin 'em, you can have 'em.

    Syd- Hey! Everyone wears underwear. Mostly. Why is the sight of it so offensive? I'll never figure this out.

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  5. oh, no! your poor plant!
    happy earth day :)

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  6. I know the answer! Train the dogs to pee on the bamboo. BOTH problems solved.

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  7. Hahahah. Bethany's gonna getcha.

    I wrote this post and she suggested I get dog-diapers.

    I had to restrain myself then. :)

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  8. I don't have any dogs, but there is a black one that makes his rounds through my yard every morning and now that I have seen these pictures, I think that may be why one of my azaleas is not looking like it should!

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  9. wow, something that irritatin' would make me want to go see some Earth Day exhibits and listen to some good music while I'm at it!
    But that's just me. Earthdayjam.org

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  10. I used to have a beautiful azalea. The bush was huge and it flowered like crazy and it was just perfect in every way......win blue ribbon at the fair way........but a late April frost killed....and I cried (this happened a few years ago and it still makes me sad)

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  11. That made me laugh. Great last line.

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  12. notjustafemme- It suffers, that poor plant. Oh, how it suffers.

    Kathleen Scott- The bamboo grows outside of the dog's area. Plus...TRAIN my dogs? Ha. I wish.

    Jo- Well, Bethany does love her plants, too, sweet girl that she is.

    Lois- That or some homeless guy. (Just kidding- I hope!)

    Magnum- You're so precious. Look- I'd have to wear a BRA and talk to strangers. Do you really think this is something I would do? I hope that many others show up and support that cause though. I really do.

    Rebecca- Killed it? That is too sad.

    Mwa- I live to make you laugh, dear.

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  13. I think about killing my goofy day every day if it makes you feel any better.

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  14. I meant dog. Way to ruin a good line, no?

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  15. You can whack Buster and Zeke, but LEAVE PEARL ALONE. Pearl stays! Pearl is covered by a Sarcastic Bastard life insurance policy.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.