The Reports Of His Death Were Greatly Exaggerated

Well, it's been a full day here in Lloyd. Owen and I did it ALL. We kicked bamboo, we played with chickens,



we (he) took a bath, crawled,


blew bubbles (me), napped on the couch during "Wife Swap," shared a smoothie and just generally had a fine time. I put him in the good cloth diapers and he rewarded me by peeing frequently and profusely.
It was a fine day.

As I said I would, I took some pictures of the Man/Woman tree. We walked down Main Street where the tree lives and here is what it looks like from a distance:

It's a fine live oak, as you can see, and I've taken pictures of it before. It's not the largest oak in Lloyd by any means, but it's got a beautiful shape to it and it spreads its boughs generously and with great symmetry.
But it's when you get close up that you notice, well, here you go:

Now look carefully down there in the crotchular area of it. Do you see those legs? Do you see those...
What?
Now Mr. Moon says it's a woman (and those are not legs at all but the womanly, down-there lips) while I say, no, it's a man. But I'm not really sure. That's why I've taken to calling it the Man/Woman tree.

Well. I don't know what sex it is but I sort of want to make love to it.
First roosters, now a tree.
This blog is getting kinky, folks. But to be honest, I don't want to make love to a rooster at all. Not even one tiny bit.
But the tree?
Maybe I AM a Pagan.

While Owen and I were on our walk, we crossed paths with Walking Man and he is very much still alive and was not the victim of the incident. He said that everyone in town thinks he was though. Did I mention that there are TWO men named Willie in Lloyd who have but one leg apiece? I think I did. One can see how there would be confusion.
He told me that when the incident occurred, he was down at Lloyd Creek with friends, fishing, and some fellows showed up and said, "Hey man, we heard you was shot!"
"Nah," he told them. "I'm just fishing."
Anyway, the other Willie who WAS shot is not from Lloyd but is merely visiting his brother here and the rumor going around is that the reason his leg had to be amputated was that he shot himself before. So, it's truly looking now as if this Willie has a problem with guns and his own personal body. I talked to our senor postmistress about the incident. She wasn't here when it happened but like Miss Martha, she couldn't figure out how someone could be shot in front of the post office in his good (only) leg and then make it down to the trash depot. And why would he? I'd go into the post office for help if I were shot in front of it.
I think.
I hope never to have to make that decision but it only makes sense to me that I'd just go a few steps for help, rather than hundreds.

Walking Man Willie and I agreed that it just doesn't seem like we would have a drive-by shooting in Lloyd. Then again, you never know.

Well, I just thought you'd like to hear the update. I mean, they didn't even mention the incident on the news and someone has to keep you informed. Right? Might as well be me.

And that is motherfucking IT for me today. Well, I'm going to bake a chicken and some squash croquettes but I am not going to go pull so much as one weed. No! I am not! Pulling weeds is not unlike doing crack or eating Cheetos in that if you just barely partake, you cannot stop. Jessie has often said to me as I have bent to pull a weed, "Don't get started, Mama! Do not get started!"
And so I am not. I am still rusted up from yesterday or perhaps from thirty years ago. Whatever.

And of course, having just written that, Mr. Moon called from town where his truck broke down. The last time it displayed the same symptoms it fixed itself by the time the tow truck got there and he's hoping that will happen again. If not, I will be driving to town again today to pick up my man.

There are worse things.

But you know- I really do not want to drive to town. I am hoping that the truck, like me, just needs a period of rest before it gets up and goes again.

Meanwhile, tell me what YOU think that tree looks like. Man? Woman? The best of both worlds?

So many things to ponder here in Lloyd. No wonder I hardly ever want to leave it.

And rarely do.