I woke up this morning and although I felt fine and rested, I just did not have the motivation I had yesterday. I was not shockked. Where and how I got that motivation, I do not know. It was definitely an aberration.
So I wasted too much time reading blogs and doing a crossword and looking at stupid FB reels WHICH SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. Not me watching them but the reels themselves which I guess are TikToks, because they are as addictive as meth and just about as good for you.
Okay. Let me be clear- I've never done meth. Okay? Just to set the record straight. I know that with me you can never be sure but somehow I have avoided that drug.
I did, however, finally make it out to the garden where I did some weeding. I can only take so much of being out there in the sun, though. The heat just feels wicked and after awhile I had to come back inside to cool off but I really wanted to do some weeding in the little bed by the garden where the bananas and roses and pinecone lilies are so I did that and then I went back around to the front of the house where I pulled more crocosmia. That bed is where I found the marble I'm holding up there in the top picture. I love finding things in this yard. Bottles and shards of crockery, old railroad things, wagon wheel rims, strange tools, rusted and now useless but still interesting.
Once, a very long time ago when Hank and May were still very young and we lived about ten miles from here on a piece of property that was still mostly woods, I found an arrowhead in our dirt driveway. I was astounded.
I'll never forget the way I felt, holding that very solid piece of such utilitarian artwork in my hand, seeing where the maker had chipped pieces off to make it sharp and fit to pierce the skin and flesh and muscle of a deer, as if I was suddenly and oddly aware that I was not quite alone there in that yard where I lived with my husband and babies and dogs and a cat. It was such tangible evidence of life before me. It felt like a message from a time long ago. A message that simply said, "I was here."
Mr. Moon texted me just a little while ago that he was back onshore and all was well. I have no idea when he'll be in. They have to clean the boat and possibly clean the fish if they caught any, and attend to all of the chores that must be done after a day on the Gulf.
I am so very fine with being alone at sunset now. Probably because I know that my partner, my husband, will be home when he can get here. For forty years he has always come home. How grateful I am that even when I'm alone now, I am not lonely because I know he'll be here eventually.
I know just what you mean about finding things in the garden and that sense of connection to someone who went before. You live in a much older house than us. Ours is only 100 years old. Before that this land was devoted to kitchen gardens for the nearby Banner Cross Hall and before that it was farmland - probably animal grazing and before that it was wild moorland. I have found pieces of willow pattern plates and parts of clay pipes and the top of an old stone bottle and a couple of old coins. You never know what might turn up. Your marble is quite beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYou do never know what you might turn up. People used to burn what trash they could and dump the rest somewhere on their property. And of course, they did not have nearly the amount of trash we do. It's something, isn't it, to find an object held once by other human hands?
DeleteI found a fossil in a split stone in our fireplace in the old house. Round, with a thousand feet. I forget its name.
ReplyDeleteWas it a trilobite? They are often found fossilized in stone. Aren't they amazing?
DeleteHandsome Partner used occasionally to find bits of silver jewelry when he walked the dog, thin bangles, fine bits of chain. They came home to me.
ReplyDeleteOh- now THAT'S treasure indeed! Wearable or suitable for art.
DeleteWearable!
DeleteThe arrowhead is beautiful, I have never seen one before. I found a guitar pick in my garden too and shards of broken crockery pop up now and again. Once after suffering through a night of "outside brawling swearing drunk neighbours" I found a $50 in the garden and kept it because I wasn't exactly sure which set of neighbours was out there.
ReplyDeleteHa! I think I might have kept it too. Someone's payment for being in your garden brawling, swearing, and drunk.
DeleteI read this as a post about connection, to yourself, your family and nature. Wishing you a sweet night.
ReplyDeleteI am sure that connection is an element here.
DeleteI’ve never found treasures like those in any of our gardens. When I was a suburban kid, I found arrowheads in the woods (now called a preserve) all the time. Those would be nice to have now.
ReplyDeleteDid you feel a sense of wonder when you found those arrowheads? Excitement? I'd be interested to know.
DeleteI was between 5 and 10 years old and I remember the sense of wonder. Sadly we were taught nothing about the 13 native tribes of Long Island.
DeletePretty much the same here in Florida. There were many, many indigenous people here and yet, history seems to have begun when Ponce de Leon stepped foot on shore, in search of gold and the fountain of youth.
DeleteOur house was built in the early 1960s and prior to that there was a shop ( a wooden shack really) by the road and an orchard behind. The shop belonged to a Joe Buck and about 30 years ago I was tending the garden and turned up a silvery disc ( dog tag?) that was inscribed " Joe Buck Station Road". The wooden fitments from the shop are in a museum in Luton and I gave the disc to the local history society.
ReplyDeleteOh, how I love that name- Joe Buck! That's a real name, isn't it? Nice of you to give your treasure to the histor society.
DeleteMy ex-husband's aunt had a beautiful home high up on a hill in Pittsburgh. They had ancestors buried on that land and she found loads of arrowheads all over the place. Sadly the airport did a compulsory purchase on the land and demolished the home. All that history gone!
ReplyDeleteAh well. The history is still there and always will be. The tangible remains are gone, of course. That is sad but eventually, everything crumbles and falls away although the pyramids are doing a pretty good job of standing!
DeleteI love old marbles. They hold a kind of magic.
ReplyDeleteYou describe beautifully that sense of not being alone both now and in your past.
Thank you, Ms. Merlot. Old marbles are cool, aren't they? Even new ones fascinate me.
DeleteI feel the same way about google, don't laugh. When I feel awful, I can google a question and when there are one million hits, I realize I'm not alone, nor am I the first to feel this way. It helps.
ReplyDeleteYou know, that's a damn good point. It is always amazing how you can google ANYTHING and you will find that so many others are asking about the same thing. No. You are not alone.
DeleteIt's like a treasure hunt when you find things in your yard! And you just have to let your imagine go wild and try to figure out how the treasure got there! Fun!
ReplyDeleteI used to give the grands trowels and a bowl to go out "dig for treasure." They always found something. Another terrific feature of this grandmother house.
Delete37paddington: this is lovely.
ReplyDeleteThank you, sweetheart.
DeleteYour arrowhead is a piece of history and fantastic. I might frame it in a box frame (with an inscription) for hanging on the wall. It is lovely. Having a love for the land and enjoying gardening, I also find unusual things when working the soil. My home sits on what was one a large farm with gardens, orchards and pastures. (The original farmhouse (largely renovated) still stands and the barn was converted to a home.) I have found horseshoes, bits of pottery and very old bottles. That said, I also lost something precious while gardening. Foolishly, I was planting a new shrub and wearing my ring and no gloves. I noticed a diamond went missing. I looked for it with no luck. Someone, some day will find a diamond. I restored the original ring and replaced the diamond. The ring has an odd feeling to it.
ReplyDeleteI think I want to keep the arrowhead where I can just hold it when I want to. It's like my secret treasure. Is that silly?
DeleteSounds like you live on land that is fertile for finding too! I've lost jewelry outside before and even lost the diamond from the first engagement ring that Glen bought me. But that was in the house! We never found it. Oddly, my beloved cat named Jagger disappeared that night. We came up with a story that he had stolen my diamond and had moved to Mexico where he spent the rest of his life on the beach, drinking tequila with lovely gata senoritas. It made me feel less sad. I really loved that ring but I may have loved that cat more. He was special.
I would find marbles and other small things like old bottles when I lived in the city house which was almost as old as yours. out here, not so much, this house built in the 50s.
ReplyDeleteI would love for my husband to leave for a few days and come home. but he never leaves so he is always home. so rare to get the house to myself. when it happens it's usually only for an hour or two.
I know what you mean about your husband, Ellen. As much as we love these men, time to ourselves is precious. I think that when you've spent your life taking care of others, not having to worry about anyone else's needs for awhile is pretty awesome.
DeleteI bet you found some cool stuff at your old house. I know you loved that house.
That's a really nice arrowhead! I love your collection of found objects -- a sense of history both ancient and more recent.
ReplyDelete