Souls Can Sag Just Like Skin And Flesh

Yes, yes. It's the time of year when photos of baskets with vegetables in them will be even more prominent here at Bless Our Hearts than during the winter. At least they'll mostly be different vegetables. As you can see, I'm still picking kale. I refuse to buy lettuce of any type while we've still got greens to make salad of. That's the first squash picked of the season and as to the green beans- well, that is Day Two of the Great Green Bean Season. I got more today than I did yesterday. My plan is to get out the pressure canner and just leave it out on the stove because I'm going to be canning some green beans. I suppose I'll pickle some of them too but the few pints I canned at the end of last summer were incredibly delicious and a real treat in winter. 
A real treat. 
Dear god. Who AM I? Someone writing an article for the church newsletter about the joys of Jello salad? 
Well, whatthefuckever. Those beans were really good and I doubt I've ever had better canned beans. 
The ones we ate last night with scrubbed baby potatoes were fantastic. Sometimes I wonder why we go to all this effort to grow vegetables and then can or pickle them, but then I go to the store and buy some of their "fresh" vegetables and there's just no comparison. 

I went back out this afternoon to finish up my weeding. We were supposed to maybe, possibly, get some rain this afternoon but it did not show up. And not another drop shows up on the ten-day forecast. So weird after we got all that rain and everything flooded. It's dry as Satan's tongue around here right now. Anyway, I got the rest of the weeds pulled. Mr. Moon's out there right now digging up a rotten fence post I think. Both of the posts that hold the gate need replacing. And he's bought hog wire (yes, that's a thing) to make tomato cages because some of the tomatoes are already getting too big for plain old store-bought cages and staking them isn't what he wants to do. 

I also finished pulling up a big old clump of border grass in the front yard. And then that was enough for me and outdoor work today. 

So last night at 8:04 I got a text from Owen saying, "I am having fun." 

Nothing could have made me happier. 
Today I sent him a text asking if last night was really good and if he had danced. He responded, "I did dance and it was a lot of fun."
So hurray! 

And those are the things that have made me happy today. Which is a lot. But overall, I'm having a bit of a rough patch. It's not horrible by any means, but I'm still having a hard time getting up in the morning and feeling as if I have the motivation to keep on with it all. I know that's ridiculous. I have so much richness in my life, even within the small scale in which I live it. And I have so much love around me and within me, both for the people I adore and for the place where I live. But honestly, the radius of my safety zone is becoming smaller and smaller and that can't be good.

I'm not sure what I need to do to break out of this cycle and sometimes I think that it's all fine. Just because I thought that by this age I'd know myself and have figured it all out, it doesn't make it so. 

And that has been another eye-opening lesson in older age. We may get wiser as we get older due to experience but we do not necessarily get smarter or more adept at acceptance. We just don't. 

Well. There will be more tomorrow, I'm sure. And until then, there is this. 

Liz's butterfly. That is the window in my laundry room which is one of my favorite places in the house. The trim of the room and the stained glass in the window made by my darling Lynn and the butterfly all carry the same colors as does the picture that Lily painted me. The light is not right to show the picture but it is beautiful and I love it. The sun which shines into the window almost all day illuminates the butterfly as if she was made to go there. 

And perhaps she was. 

Thank you, Liz. 

Love...Ms. Moon