Sunday, October 22, 2023

We Are All Strangers In A Strange Land But We Don't Often Talk About It

 In my next lifetime, if my karma's not good enough to be a dolphin, I would like to come back as a stand-up comedian. I love making people laugh. I distinctly remember being in 6th grade and having a friend named Martha Kirk who was an easy laugher. I decided that I mostly liked her because she laughed at the things I said that I meant to be funny. I also realized that she laughed at just about everyone who said anything the slightest bit funny. 
You did not have to be hilarious to make Martha laugh but I enjoyed her company, even knowing that I probably was not as hysterical as she made me feel. 

Isn't it amazing that at the advanced age of eleven or twelve, two little girls had already figured out how to make themselves feel more comfortable in social situations- she to laugh frequently, me to try to make people laugh frequently. 

So all of this is just to say that sometimes I say things that are a bit outrageous just to get someone to crack a smile. The thing I was going to say on this post at the very beginning was this:

"The most constructive thing I've done all day is to treat a yeast infection."

Funny? Not funny?

True though. 

I've probably been talking about my nether regions a bit too much the last day or so but we all have nether regions and although men don't get yeast infections, they do get kidney stones. 
So let's get over it, okay? You have no idea how much I censure myself here. I wish I didn't sometimes. Wouldn't it be a refreshing change if we could honestly discuss things that are happening in almost all of our lives because we are human beings with bodies and emotions and who have maladies and we experience changes due to age, and we have memories of when things were different? 
But no. For so many of us, such topics make us uncomfortable or even repelled. How many of us were taught that any discussion of such things was forbidden, only to be spoken of to our doctors or our therapists and often even not to them due to the deep shame that talking about them might cause?
And how many of us have actually had deep and real conversations with others in which we allow ourselves to cross those invisible but clearly laid-out lines and have felt such relief to know that others have some of the same thoughts and problems that we have? Have had similar experiences? Who know of which we speak? 
I have. 
But...we do not want to offend. We do not want to scare away dear friends with thoughts and worries that are perhaps too honest. 
Hell, I don't even want to lose readers because something I say may make them uncomfortable. 

Sometimes though, I go for the laugh. 

And sometimes I just don't care. And even saying that makes me worry that I have offended someone because I am, as we all are, complex and interesting creatures who will probably never stop trying to make ourselves comfortable in social situations. 
I'll say one more thing about this. There is what I consider to be a very dangerous and outdated and ridiculous belief that there are some things we "just don't talk about." And I am as guilty of avoiding those places and spaces as anyone else. 

Which is probably why I want to be a comedian. Those people can say whatever the fuck they want and get away with it and get paid for it and make people laugh and recognize their own experiences in it. 
The jester may have been the most valuable member of a king's court. 

I haven't felt very funny today. Mostly I've felt weighed down by my inability to enjoy the anticipation of a tiny little get-away with my husband to a beautiful place because of my anxiety and endless worry. I have a million worries, from getting out of Lloyd early enough to do some grocery shopping at the Little Pig on St. George to what to pack for our trip. Not clothes, so much, although those too, but should I take some good knives? A cast-iron skillet? Can't forget medications. And supplements. And the emergency hard drugs. And vodka. And the martini shaker. And what spices can I not cook without? Oh Jeez. It's too much for my tiny brain. We're only going for five days (four nights) and we can buy anything on the island and if we can't, there's always Apalachicola. And we can always do without. We could do without food entirely for that amount of time and not die. 

These are the times when I feel the most crazy. When I'm doing something that should be pure pleasure but which, instead, causes me such great anxiety. 

The ugly little stone in my right kidney has made its presence known all day but it is not nearly to the painful point. It is just...there. It twinges, it aches a little. Nothing much. But oh, it feels just way too familiar. I watch. I wait. 

And you know what? By this time tomorrow, I will be on St. George, watching the sky turn colors in the sunset. I will see the Gulf which is connected to all of the seas on this planet just as surely as all of the seas are connected to all of us with our salty blood. The moon is almost full and we will watch that rise above the water and it will be beyond gorgeous. And all will be well. 

My posting may not be on its regular schedule and frankly, I hope it's not. I hope that I can break out of routines and ruts for a few days, at least. 
I was not born to be wild. Obviously. But at least I can try to be a little more spontaneous. 

Mr. Moon just called. He said it's beautiful at the coast right now and that he can't wait for us to be there. I'll be so glad to be there too. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Breathe ... Pack the clothes you will need for a lovely romp with your dear hubby and just order food delivered!
    Well, do pack the martini fixings!

  2. I doubt there is any food delivery on St. George! Which is fine because I truly love to cook. We will definitely eat out for some lunches and breakfasts but evenings I want to watch the sunset and then make our supper. That to me is a sort of heaven. And there is a lot of seafood to buy there that I can cook for us. And of course- perhaps my husband will catch us some good fish too.

  3. All I can say is have a wonderful time. It will all work out.

  4. speaking of your *nethers* is never offensive (to me)...but may all be well with that....and may your stone stay where it is and ache subside. Frolic (not literally) with the dophins......and enjoy to the fullest! And yes.....take some *down* blog time....... you need that too! We will just imagine the fun you are having!
    Much love!
    Susan M

  5. Seafood=heaven to me.
    Have fun.

  6. I hope you both have a wonderful time.

  7. I don't worry about any topic, really, not easily shocked. But I do find people who go on about their ailments -- this is not you, Mary, in case you're already reaching for your pearls -- really dull. But I don't think there are any bodily situations that can't be discussed.

    That said, when you see that sunset, I have no doubt you'll do a T S Eliot, and compare it to my sock!

    Have a lovely trip and try kicking the worry habit!

  8. Men get yeast infections too, in the folds of their nethers. I believe it is referred to as Jock Itch.
    Watching the sunset and eating seafood. Bliss.
    Go and be spontaneous and tell us all about it when you get back.

  9. We are all strangers in a strange, strange land. Our job is to walk each other home.

  10. One of the MANY things I appreciate about your writing, Mary Moon, is your openness to discuss anything.

    By this time tomorrow, you should be settled in that lovely cottage and enjoying the sunset and (I hope!) dolphins and other sea life. Say hi to the pelicans for me.

    Chris from Boise

  11. Pack your clothes, your medications and your martini shaker. Everything else can be bought as needed, or done without. You'll probably spend most of your time appreciating the ocean and sunsets anyway. Walking on the sand, maybe making a sandcastle?

  12. I totally understand your anxieties about going away. We are going to Slovenia next summer for our youngest son's wedding, and I am already worried sick about every aspect of it ! Have a lovely time by the sea and send photos if you have time please. Hope that damn stone stays right where it is.

  13. Did you ever consider making a list of everything you need for your trip (not the clothes obviously)? My biggest thing is toiletries and other essentials - which is silly because I rarely go somewhere where I can't buy this stuff. But in the end I typed up a list in Word of the things I really wouldn't want to forget and it works for me. And as for comedians, while I don't always find him funny, I think Ricky Gervais can and does get away with murder because he really doesn't give a sh*t!

  14. "The jester may have been the most valuable member of a king's court" - That is certainly true in Shakespeare's plays - The Fool in "King Lear" is no fool. He sees and understands everything. Enjoy your break on St George's Island Mary.

  15. For me, the key to packing anxiety is to realize that there is nothing I can't do without, especially for a short period of time. When I moved to Morocco in 1992 I brought ONE SUITCASE full of my already well-used clothing and I did fine! I was there for two years! It makes me laugh now but there's still a valuable lesson there.

    I read The Guardian newspaper every day and I am always surprised by how often they write about sensitive and personal medical issues. I don't know why it surprises me, but it does. I guess given my own newspaper background, I'm consistently surprised by how frank they are. I don't think American newspaper readers would tolerate it, or at least wouldn't have 20 years ago.

  16. I hear you on the talking about shit thing. I think many people, the ones I want to associate with at least, feel the same. Like let's just talk about this shit! See you on the island!

  17. first, yes men do get yeast infections. and part of that taboo sex topic...I have informed my daughter and two of the grandgirls on three separate occasions when they had yeast infections about what always gave me one if I didn't clean up afterwards but slept with it was (and here's the taboo part) oral sex. I tried to be matter of fact about it...this may embarrass you but. they were enlightened.

    and as for the rest we've been here before, the anxiety pre vacay. you'll be fine and have a fabulous time as long as the kidney stone behaves itself.

  18. I hope you have a lovely time away, on the beach. Sigh. It's snowing here today and I'm still full of snot.
    I love making people laugh to. That's my job at work, aside from the whole nursing thing. People need to laugh, even if they're dying.

  19. Happy Anniversary to you two🥰And have a wonderful time together at the beach- what a lovely way to celebrate! Xo, Rigmor

  20. I know I made a long comment to this post but it is not here.

  21. 37paddington: I smiled a chuckle through the first part of this post—I know I would have loved you in grade school and I would definitely have laughed at your jokes. And then I empathized so intensely with your packing anxiety; we are so the same. By now you are at the beach and I hope you’re having a relaxing time. Love you woman.


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