That's what it looked like this morning on the garden fence where we'd left a sprinkler dripping to avoid busted pipes. Icicles in Florida! I think it may have gotten down into the low twenties but as far as I can tell from perusing multiple weather sites, it's not going to get that cold tonight.
But as I had predicted, the chickens' waterers were frozen and there are plants that obviously got "burned" as they used to say for whatever reason when I lived in Central Florida. I remember how incredibly exciting it was when a hard freeze was coming. Those were the days when there were still many citrus groves in the area and back in those distant times when dinosaurs still walked among us, the boys in high school and possibly Jr. high were recruited by grove-owning family and friends to fire the groves which meant putting out kerosine heaters in the rows of fruit trees and then, when the temperature dropped to a certain temperature, they would light the heaters which in many cases did indeed prevent the crops from freezing. This all involved staying up all night in barns with fires to keep the boys themselves from freezing and it was always hinted that nips of alcohol might be involved and best of all- they did not have to go to school the next day. Firing groves was a valid absence pass. And I have to say that as a girl I was somewhat jealous and also very glad that my gender prevented me from those long, cold work nights.
I think I used up my monthly ration of cheer yesterday. At least it seemed that way. Today has been fine but that sweet light that some days possess that shines around me, giving everything a sort of comforting and contented glow was missing.
Oh, how I love the days when it shines though. There just seems to be a rightness about even the most pragmatic and mundane pieces of my life. A satisfaction with how things are. Not a wild glory or a manic gleam, just a true ability to appreciate and enjoy things as they are. Which is about as close to nirvana for me as I'm ever going to get, I think. I recognize the preciousness of those days and I cherish them but I can't help but feel a disappointment when I wake up and realize that the light is gone and once again I see the dirty baseboards and realize the curtains need washing and worry about things that no amount of worry can change and fret over things that must be dealt with that the day before did not cause me the least concern.
But I did clean two doors' window panels and swept the house and took the trash. And spent way too much time doing two crossword puzzles.
It's been a Sunday, I guess.
And I really have nothing to complain about. A mood is a mood and feelings are feelings but sometimes I do wonder what it must be like to be one of those people who generally wake up without having to go through existential angst but instead feel fairly cheerful and start their days with thoughts of things they want to do and accomplish and the knowledge that on the whole, life is pretty darn good despite setbacks and frustrations, situational sadness and worry. I wonder if they realize what a blessing it is to have that sort of outlook on life most of the time. I think that many of them believe with all of their hearts that it's all in a person's attitude. And that attitude is something that can be slipped on like a sweater, a tutu, a colorful pair of socks.
Well. Let us see what tomorrow brings. Who knows? I may clean more windows! Let the sun shine in.
The slipping on a Mood or Attitude like a comfy Sweater or warm cozy Pair of Socks would be so much easier, wouldn't it?ReplyDelete
And wouldn't we if we could?Delete
If only that were so. Everything is not under our control though, amazingly enough. And if we have a high set point for optimism, that's not to our credit. It's just the luck of brain chemistry.ReplyDelete
But try telling that to people who say oh I just count my blessings then I feel fine! I'm glad for them, and wish they'd go away..
Oh, dearheart. Yes. I am as grateful as any woman on this earth. Does it make me cheerful and optimistic? No. Doesn't mean that I don't appreciate and cherish what I have.Delete
After Christmas,I had to go on Lexapro, an antidepressant that has gotten me to a place where my days feel more normal! It is really keeping me on an even keel and I am really enjoying feeling like myself once again!ReplyDelete
Do you need something like that? It might help keep your days and you from being so topsy-turvy so often.
Been there, doing that. Trust me. I'm on two different anti-depressants and they help me get through my days.Delete
I suppose it must snow or freeze up in Florida, at least occasionally. I remember big freezes on the news and serious discussions about the outcome with my parents.ReplyDelete
Absolutely. It does indeed freeze here sometimes and yes, even snows now and then. Not very much, though! We are always gobsmacked to see ice form outside a freezer.Delete
That is utterly amazing, that fence! Enough ice there for a gin or two! I still have little blue pill that buoys me up if i start felling like not feeling. Only 19 mg, and don't even take that every day but when i need to stop a suicide it does come in handy.ReplyDelete
Gin and tonic was the first thing that came to my mind too!Delete
Oh yes. I have no own little blue pills. Gin and tonic? Well, why not?Delete
Even the most cheerful people have down days, but I have to confess I have never felt existential angst. If you line your rooms with furniture you will never see the baseboards again.ReplyDelete
My rooms ARE somewhat lined with furniture. That is an excellent household tip!Delete
"feel fairly cheerful and start their days with thoughts of things they want to do and accomplish" - I live with one of those, and sometimes I want to give him a kick in the seat of his pants. Good thing I love him to bits.ReplyDelete
And - brrrrr!!! That fence is impressive! Did it melt during the day? Hope most of your plants come through unscathed.
Chris from Boise
My husband is generally a very positive person. I absolutely hate it when he goes through periods of being down. I'm like, "No! Your job is to stay cheerful! Get it together, man!"Delete
And yes, the ice definitely melted during the day. I don't think we lost a lot of plants. Some that will grow back.
Good point. I too am glad that my husband has an optimistic slant, but the occasional suggestion to "oh, just cheer up" when directed to me is not always...helpful :-) But I wouldn't trade him for the world. You and I are fortunate in our men.Delete
Chris from Boise
I also remember those freezing nights when the grove workers would set out the smudge pots to keep the groves warm. I remember that burning, oily smell in the air. I'm sure it would be against modern environmental laws, though I suppose they must still use some kind of heaters.ReplyDelete
Those are some impressive icicles. The grove owners (and strawberry growers) also used to irrigate their crops to insulate them, which would produce dramatic ice on the trees and bushes. I imagine they still do that.
I think it's hard for people who don't experience chronic depression or anxiety to imagine what it's like. I am certainly grateful for my own relatively even mental health, and I know it's not like that for everyone -- but I also can't pretend I always understand what they ARE experiencing. Except from what I read, and thank you for sharing your perspective on those issues. That's how we all learn!
Yes! I remember the farmers irrigating during freezes to protect the trees! I guess it must work?Delete
Be very grateful that you are generally even in your moods. I know you are. And it's not easy to understand what anyone else feels like really.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who just doesn't understand it. Having never experienced either, all I can do is be as sympathetic as I can while still not knowing what they are going through.Delete
Wow. That is quite an ice sculpture.ReplyDelete
I am not a morning person. I never wake up feeling like everything is rosy. That's something that sort of creeps in during the day. After the coffee. At the end of the day, I take stock, and most of the time, I find that it has been a good day.
I hope that your day winds up with plenty of rosy moments.
My mood does generally improve somewhat as I come more fully awake. Sometimes I think that my dreams take me so far down that it's hard to shake them and be present in the new, real day.Delete
We are supposed to get more snow this week and I have lots to do so I am hoping the forecast is wrong...ReplyDelete
Hope your down feelings dissipate and your glow comes back soon.
The weather is just atrocious in some parts of the country. I hope it doesn't snow too much.Delete
Brrr. We're supposed to have mid 20˚s on Thursday night and 31˚ on Friday night. Not looking forward to that. I suppose I'll have to cover a few things.ReplyDelete
It's the weather that affects me. Gloomy days make for a gloomy attitude.
Gloomy days sometimes affect me that way too although sometimes they give me the excuse to stay in and stay cozy which I do enjoy now and then.Delete
Your coming weather sounds like what we've been having.
I've never been a morning person but I'm lucky to be (mostly) pretty upbeat. I know it's luck and on the rare occasion I have been down (I can't say depressed in my case), I really feel for people who have to live with real depression. I don't know what the answer is - except for maybe medication when necessary!ReplyDelete
You are one of the lucky ones and may you always be so!Delete
You are an artist, and so many artists have this variable pilot light, and when the angst sets in, the conventional wisdom goes, it drives them to their art. I am so glad you write here. It is more art than you know, and it certainly bolsters me on days when my own pilot light is dim or altogether out. I love you.ReplyDelete
Also, those are some impressive tropical icicles!ReplyDelete