Fashion Disaster Alert

We all know that Ms. Moon is a fashion-forward type of gal. Oh yeah. She was wearing cargo sorts and overalls before cargo shorts and overalls were cool.
(What? They're still not cool? Fuck that.)
She has a closet full of clothes which are older than some of her children. (All of her children are of legal age to drink in every state in the nation.) She wears them sometimes. When they fit.

Yes. Ms. Moon knows fashion and she is here today to alert you to the newest trend of all:
Jeggings!
Yes. You see, you combine a legging and a jean and you get...JEGGINGS!
Which, the ads purport, will make you look like this:


Now first off- do we WANT to look like this?
Of course we do. We all want to look like our legs are seven feet long and end in a flat places and curvy places (in the right places) and we all need to wear cruel black heels to emphasize that and to announce to all and sundry that we are BITCHES, YO! DO NOT FUCK WITH US AND OUR CRUEL BLACK HEELS AND OUR SEVEN-FEET LONG LEGS!
Right?

I think so.

But let us consider.
Would we look like that were we to put on Jeggings and cruel black heels?
Speaking for myself, I have to give that a big HELL NO! In fact, let me give that a big HELL FUCKING NO!

And how many of us actually would?

No. We would look more like this unfortunate woman whose ass was obviously photoed without her permission by someone using a camera phone:

Look- here's the deal as far as I'm concerned- Just because you can squeeze your ass into something doesn't mean you SHOULD! Do you hear what I'm saying?

Now I feel quite certain that none of my friends here at blessourhearts would ever fall for this Lycra-infused fashion faux pas. We here at blessourhearts are sensible people. We are people who try to do our best in every aspect of our lives and we even know that every time we buy a garment with Lycra in it, we are supporting these people.
In fact, we look upon Lycra with suspicion all the way around. Oh sure, it's been a godsend when it comes to bathing suits (although mostly we hate bathing suits) and yoga pants but let's face it- it has done not one damn good thing for the fashion industry as far as we are concerned. And we here at blessourhearts would rather put a stick in our eye than go out of the house wearing something named Jeggings. The very word itself makes us shudder, and it should! Jeggings is not a word, people! You can't just go around combining words in ways like that. It sounds too much like jogging and jiggling and if you put on a pair of Jeggings and went jogging you know damn well there would be jiggling.

It would not be pretty and neither would we were we ever to try such a stunt.

No. Let us wear our loose overalls and our baggy cargo shorts made of fabrics which breathe and which do not support right-wing religious extremists. Let us leave the compression stockings for when we are immobile in the hospital and need to prevent deep vein thrombosis. (Thromboses?) Let us not fall for fashion trends which, in a few short years, will be featured in magazines with the caption, "What were we thinking?"

Trust me. I have seen fashions come and I have seen fashions go. And Jeggings can't go soon enough for me. If you want to wear jeans, wear jeans. If you want to wear leggings, wear leggings. But for god's sake- spare yourself the embarrassment of this poor garment which is a confused bastard of a piece of clothing. It will do you no favors. It will give you a yeast infection. I am a nurse. I know these things.

All right. I'm done. I've done my good deed for the day. I have given you the information and now it is up to you to do with it as you will.

One more thing- the cruel black heels? They are fine. Ms. Moon approves. Mr. Moon would too. So would Natasha.


But they should be worn with a black leather mini-skirt. Or even a plain pair of skinny jeans with just the least amount of Lycra you can find. Which means that you won't be fitting your ass into something you shouldn't.
Which means your ass won't be getting photoed without your permission with a camera phone and spread around the internet.

Just doing my part to prevent such humiliation.

Love...Ms. Moon