If a few legislators in Tallahassee have their way, we'll now be able to purchase a Jesus license plate here in Florida. Nice, huh?
Poor Jesus. Not only does he have to eternally hang from a cross, he has to hang out there over the exhaust pipe on the ass end of a car.
This is the logical ending to the crazy number of specialized license plates in Florida.
And here's what I suggest:
Stop the madness.
Issue one Florida license plate. The standard plate. And if you want to support manatees (and who doesn't?) donate to the manatee fund. If you don't support abortions, don't get one. If you like to fish, then go fishing and donate to the Florida Wildlife fund. And so forth. And get a bumper sticker supporting your own special interest.
And if you love Jesus, go to church and worship him there. Don't put the poor man on a license plate. Hasn't he suffered enough?
Of course, the one good thing about that plate is that upon seeing one, I would know that a crazy person is driving the car it's adorning.
Because it makes so much sense to have a state license plate with Jesus on it. It's proving your devotion to our lord and savior. It's showing god himself what a loving and devout Christian you are. Go into a closet to pray? Oh please. That's so old Testament. Get right out there on the highway and pray in public like the Pharisees. Text message all your friends while driving to tell them about your devotion.
It's the 21st century, folks, and what would Jesus do?
Kick those legislators in the ass, is what I'm thinking. The legislators who are going to have to go into an overtime session because they have not finished attending to the business of the state they were elected to attend to. Schools are failing, roads are falling apart, people are losing their homes and jobs and health insurance and we're spending time on this bullshit.
Jesus.
amen
ReplyDeleteI couldn't believe my eyes with this license plate!
ReplyDeleteForgive them Father, for they know not what they do...............
That's just absurd.
ReplyDeleteRight now its been TPed (temporarily postponed) because they couldn't stop debating it and they had to get back too the real business of screwing the state workers. It could just die, if it gets blocked from being brought back up in time, or it could be brought back into debate if someone wants to put a bunch of effort into it. So we'll see.
ReplyDeleteTestify!
ReplyDeleteIndeed,if Religion is an inappropriate response to the divine, what's this!?
I did find the Jesus Fish amusing too, I must admit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKvURliwsfY&NR=1
Kick their butts!
ReplyDeleteOh and I know you probably will LOVE this ;) but I tagged you over HERE
I want one! And I'll get a vanity tag that says:
ReplyDeleteFAA QUE
hahahaha
ReplyDeleteI can see their selling slogans now,
"When bumper stickers are no longer enough..."
"Show Jesus you care."
Or some extreme right-wingers will probably go with,
"Obama's a socialist, support JESUS!"
Oh boy...
And I can picture what people will put as their custom plate #'s as well:
ALL4HIM
2LOVEJC
HVNBND
JCLUVSU
HEDIE4U
CHRSTN
HELIVES [even though he's dead on the plate]
JCINME
Might as well just go with:
IAMGOD
Amen! I couldn't agree more! Our world is getting weirder by the minute! I can't wait to see what the people who think they are running this show come up with next.
ReplyDeleteWow, I had not seen this before. What a way to show devotion. But why stop there? What about when you aren't actually IN your car? People might not be able to tell at a glance what religion you are!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking the next step towards TRUE devotion is the forehead tatoo.
Everytime you get a pimple up there people can say "he is risen".
was the little silver fish not enough on the back of cars?
ReplyDelete"take up your license and follow me"
Ms. Trouble- So, you, too can see the hilarity in this?
ReplyDeleteZelzee- Exactly.
RiotGrrl- Uh huh. I love the new picture, by the way.
DTG- Look at you with your finger on the pulse of the state government! Keep us updated.
Ms. Jo- I love Elaine.
Erin- Oh my. Tagged? Well, I checked it out. Maybe if I can figure out how to do that in a paragraph. The last person I hugged was Mr. Moon. There's a start.
But I am honored.
Magnum- I'm slow today. Explain.
Fag?
AJ- Very nicely done!
Palagi Girl- Hello! And unfortunately, these people ARE running the damn show.
Lady Lemon- You're going to hell. You know that. I'll save you a seat.
Learner- Heh-heh.
correction:
ReplyDelete"take up your license plate and follow me"
Well, at least I'll be in good company.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more...
ReplyDeleteI'd like a circumcised Jesus please!
ReplyDeleteHVNBND - hahahaha
ReplyDeleteMs M, I have a total fondness for the actor who played Putty, I suppose becaue of Elaine and the whole hilarious relationship! I love his voice, even in cartoons.
That is just too damn creepy.
ReplyDeleteWhere's the license plates endorsing Buddhism? Islam? Wicca? If we're going to be stupid and crazy, we should be equal opportunity about it.
Ms. Moon,
ReplyDeleteSound it out in two words together.
Oh, and why is Jesus soo ripped in that picture? He had been tortured and starved and was a gaunt little feller by the time he was hung out to die.
Oh, and why soo white? He was as brown as they come, or have the Baptists not seen any images of the folks from the Middle East?
I would like to reserve a spot on the bench bext to you and the lemon lady; because I just almost peed this is so funny!
ReplyDeleteLady Lemon- Yep, you, me, Kori and Keith Richards.
ReplyDeleteJustme- I'm not the only one, huh?
Petit Fleur- Okay!
Ms. Jo- I know what you mean.
Rachel- If a Wiccan or Islamic or Buddhist buys a lobbyist, they too can be represented. We do have a tag which has John Lennon's face on it and it says "Imagine." That one makes me smile. They can keep that one.
Magnum- Okay. I get it. And I have always wondered the same thing about this blue-eyed, blond hippie Jesus we seem to worship.
Kori- We'll make room.
Good LORD. How gruesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd to think I thought I'd seen it all...
ReplyDeleteApparently he's a blond German Protestant Jesus. I read that.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think it's ridiculous. Look how dusky the poor felow is their between the M and P. I mean, he's dying right there before your very eyes at the red light! OF course, many Christians would argue that this is what the Big Guy wants. They will counter that they are spreading The Word, so to speak.
ReplyDeleteLot's of Jesus blogs today. Must be something up with the barometric pressure.
I spent the day on Capitol Hill and this was the perfect lunch break read :) So thanks for that.
ReplyDeleteI agree '...spending time on this bullshit'
ReplyDeletewhat distraction.
i miss you, i love your chicks!
Aunt Becky- Well, that's just the SAMPLE.
ReplyDeleteMs. Trouble- Poor Jesus. That's all I can say.
SJ- You are welcome!
Maggie May- I miss you too!