Friday, April 24, 2009

And Her Heart Opened Like A Magnolia Blossom

I am fixin' to, as we say around here, go over to Gatorbone for the weekend. Tomorrow is Lis's birthday. We've spent a lot of her birthdays together and a few of mine, too. She and Lon have a gig tonight so I'll go into St. Augustine with them but the rest of the weekend may just be spent on the back deck of the little house on the little lake of Gator Bone, dangling our shoes on our toes and eating birthday cake.
And giggling.
And that sounds perfect to me.

Now I have to tell you that usually when I'm fixin' to go somewhere, I am one anxious little woman. Even something as simple as a three-hour drive over to see my darling Lis can twist me into knots. But today? I feel nothing but excitement. Last night was the same. I came home from play practice and ate some supper and washed the dishes and moved all my stuff out of the Mini Cooper into a different car which I will now be driving (I think it's a Honda of some sort) and I was excited then.
"What's this?" I thought. "Where's my anxiety, my gut-knotted insides? The insurmountability of all that I have to do before I go, my fear of getting lost, stranded on the highway, taking wrong turns, breaking down on the way? Where's my fear that Mr. Moon, after one weekend without me will decide he doesn't love me?"
And I didn't have an answer.
And I still feel that way this morning.
I do have a lot to do before I leave. I haven't wrapped up Lis's presents, I haven't packed. I haven't put the chicks outside. I haven't....
Oh well. It'll get done. So what?
It's like some little switch has been flipped in my psyche.
Is it because I'm telling this story outloud? Is it because in doing so I'm doing something I've needed to do for a long time? Is this one more layer of the onion being peeled away?"
Who knows? Not me.
All I know is that I feel freer than I have felt in so long. Maybe, actually, forever.
The Magnolia Grandifloras are beginning to bloom and two days ago Mr. Moon picked me one and I put it in vase in the hallway where it opened up and gave me a heady jolt of perfume every time I walked by it.
It was closed one day, open the next.
I feel that way.
Now. I must go. I have so much to do and I am so excited to get on the road in this silver car and drive over to Gator Bone where Lon and Lis will greet me and their dogs Buck and Daisy will snuffle me and where Lis and I will dangle our shoes on our toes and giggle and eat cake.
See you soon.
Love....Ms. Moon


  1. You're so thoughtful. I hate that I lack thoughtfulness, I'm always accused of not paying attention. I think that's where alot of the magic of humans are, in the details.
    Have fun in Gatorville or whatever it's called!

  2. Have a great time with your Ya Ya Sister and Brother. And give Lis a Happy Birthday hug from me!

    PS You do seem very much like that Magnolia... opening in new wonderful ways and giving us all something beautiful.

  3. Yay for feeling at peace!

    Have a great time, soak up some warm sun for me :0)

  4. I am so glad to read this in the midst of reading the other!

  5. I can smell that magnolia from here. You have fun over there, and tell her happy birthday from me. I love you!

  6. Erin- Life is ALL about the details.
    That's what I think. Except when it's about the big picture. Of course.

    Petit Fleur- I will!

    JustMe- It's amazing.

    Ms. Jo- Well, it's all the truth.

    DTG- Ain't magnolias glorious?
    I'll bring your love to Gatorbone and I'll keep it in my heart.
    I love you, too.

  7. Have fun with Liz! We are having fun in PC, I love the beach. Kickerbean is good, still nudging away. I love you.

  8. Yay! Lily! And Kickerbean and Daddy Bean!
    I love you! Have fun! Get all sandy and brown and salty. Don't get burned. Eat fun food. Watch the sunset.
    Know I love you.

  9. Oh I'm so glad you are feeling good about this! It warms my heart to think of you happy and anxiety free about something that is indeed meant to be fun. I so wish I could be with you two ladies dangling shoes and giggling, but I know you will have a great time without me, being adults, or little girls, or whatever you want. Hehe. And don't forget to bring my love with you too.

  10. Hey mama, remember when Lily was a baby and we all went to PC Beach and she was the only one who didn't get burnt?

  11. The flower and you are BEE-YOU-TEE-ful.

  12. In your story is where I tensed, but this post is where I cried. You are changing Ms. Moon. You are putting it behind you emotionally. You are breaking free. This honey is the joy of joys. Infinite applause. p.s. I will be passing your story to yet another person. The good you are doing is unlimited.
    :) Have a wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful weekend! **Big Hugs**

  13. Have fun on your trip, hope the calmness stays with you the entire time.
    I've never gone anywhere without feeling stressed out, until last weekend, for some reason I was filled with complete peace. Wow, I had forgotten how great that feels! Someone needs to bottle that up and sell it. Oh wait, they do, it's called Xanax! LOL just kidding...

  14. Ms. Moon. YOu wish Ms. Lis a Happy for me. I have a Lis, my secod daughter is Elissa, we call her Lis.

  15. Thank all of you for your comments. I couldn't get through this without you.

  16. I am so glad that this is having such a positive effect on you. I think you are the better for getting it out there.


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.