I am fixin' to, as we say around here, go over to Gatorbone for the weekend. Tomorrow is Lis's birthday. We've spent a lot of her birthdays together and a few of mine, too. She and Lon have a gig tonight so I'll go into St. Augustine with them but the rest of the weekend may just be spent on the back deck of the little house on the little lake of Gator Bone, dangling our shoes on our toes and eating birthday cake.
And that sounds perfect to me.
Now I have to tell you that usually when I'm fixin' to go somewhere, I am one anxious little woman. Even something as simple as a three-hour drive over to see my darling Lis can twist me into knots. But today? I feel nothing but excitement. Last night was the same. I came home from play practice and ate some supper and washed the dishes and moved all my stuff out of the Mini Cooper into a different car which I will now be driving (I think it's a Honda of some sort) and I was excited then.
"What's this?" I thought. "Where's my anxiety, my gut-knotted insides? The insurmountability of all that I have to do before I go, my fear of getting lost, stranded on the highway, taking wrong turns, breaking down on the way? Where's my fear that Mr. Moon, after one weekend without me will decide he doesn't love me?"
And I didn't have an answer.
And I still feel that way this morning.
I do have a lot to do before I leave. I haven't wrapped up Lis's presents, I haven't packed. I haven't put the chicks outside. I haven't....
Oh well. It'll get done. So what?
It's like some little switch has been flipped in my psyche.
Is it because I'm telling this story outloud? Is it because in doing so I'm doing something I've needed to do for a long time? Is this one more layer of the onion being peeled away?"
Who knows? Not me.
All I know is that I feel freer than I have felt in so long. Maybe, actually, forever.
The Magnolia Grandifloras are beginning to bloom and two days ago Mr. Moon picked me one and I put it in vase in the hallway where it opened up and gave me a heady jolt of perfume every time I walked by it.
It was closed one day, open the next.
I feel that way.
Now. I must go. I have so much to do and I am so excited to get on the road in this silver car and drive over to Gator Bone where Lon and Lis will greet me and their dogs Buck and Daisy will snuffle me and where Lis and I will dangle our shoes on our toes and giggle and eat cake.
See you soon.