Tuesday, November 2, 2021

 So if anyone wants to know how my Moderna booster affected me, I'll let this picture tell the story. 


That's pretty much where I spent the day. 
Last night was rough. I kept waking up, sweating, freezing, arm hurting. Jeez! I think this round may have been worse than the first two. I am hoping that means that I have a powerful immune system working to keep me safe. 
When I got up, I didn't even put my clothes on. I just put a sweater over my nightgown. This is unheard of for me. I stayed up for awhile, went back to bed and read, took more Ibuprofen, went back to bed, read, and went to sleep. For hours. And the dreams! 

I've almost finished the book about Auroville and it's blowing my mind. Why, why, WHY do humans have this need to try and create Utopias with these charismatic leaders? In the case of Auroville, their leader was an elderly French woman whom they called The Mother and I'm not quite sure what her message was but it did involve what she called The Yoga and she had been a follower of a man named Sri Aurobindo. Auroville was created as a community in India where all of the usual Utopian ideals are recognized. You know- bliss, harmony, perfection, light, etc. Amazingly, they got a lot done with an architect and even funds from UNESCO. They planted forests where no forests had been and communities within the community sprang up. Hippies arrived! And so on. 
Then the Mother died which was a huge shock to everyone. Supposedly she had been working to evolve into an advanced being who would not die and she had an advisor/friend who did everything in his power to prevent her death which of course eventually happened and things started falling apart as things do. 
BUT, the main story in this book is about a specific man and woman who were part of the community in its early days. The woman in the couple was the mother of the author's wife, the man was her partner later in life and the stepfather (in spirit) of the author's wife. The woman was from Belgium, I think, the man was the rich son of a New Yorker. They both threw themselves into The Yoga, the community, with all of their energy, lives, and spirits. Their belief in the Mother's force was complete. And this is an old story, people following a leader into places that they never would have gone on their own, but in this case, the end result was so tragic, so painful, so damn unnecessary that the book is painful to read. Since I haven't finished it, I am not sure what compelled the author and his wife to move back to Auroville but I'm fascinated to find out. 
Once again, I am completely mystified at how religion (or spirituality, for that matter- choose your definition of either or both) can take over incredibly intelligent people's minds to the point where their entire lives are based on the faith and beliefs of their own specific group. Having listened to countless hours of Mormon Stories podcasts, I am somewhat aware of the how this process works. (For a brief explanation of how authoritarian control works, go HERE) but it does work with surprisingly frequent bizarre success. And it's one thing if a person is raised in a church from birth to believe its tenents, but it seems to me that it's another thing entirely when an adult becomes taken over by what would seem complete ridiculousness. 
I guess that part of it is our human need to want to make sense of our world. To believe desperately that there is a benevolent higher power who sees our suffering and allows it to happen for a Greater Purpose and who loves us all the more for that. 

Anyway, this book has me hooked for sure and the fact that I set it down to sleep is telling about how powerfully my body needed to rest and as I slept I dreamed I was in India, staying with a family of a mother and her children, and I was trying desperately to figure out how to help them financially. 

I should probably end here. This post may make no sense whatsoever. I'm sure that I'm still a bit wonky in the head. 

Love...Ms. Moon


31 comments:

  1. I love the rumpled bed, but sorry you had to be in it much of the day. Comforting- yes......but not *have-to*.....is the key. Your body may be revolting but your blogging brain is not! LOL. May you feel much better quickly!
    Susan M

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    1. I feel so much better today, Susan. Thank you.

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  2. I got my Moderna booster yesterday afternoon and absolutely no reaction from it and not even as tender as when I got my flu shot. I had no reaction from the initial two shots either!
    I am so sorry you have had such a terrible reaction!

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  3. RuhRoh! I get my Moderna booster tomorrow afternoon! Friends have told me that the Moderna booster is much worse than the Pfizer booster. Hubby had the Pfizer….nuttin’! I’ve got shopping to do after the pharmacy tomorrow, and another couple coming for dinner.

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    1. I hope it all went well for you. I know a lot of people who got very little reaction to the booster at all.

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    2. I got the booster and the flu shot. Flu shot arm hurts like hell (she wasn’t a good shot giver). Seven hours later I’m beginning to feel a little achy and tired. So I’m going to bed soon! Problem solved.

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  4. The storyline in the book you are reading might also apply to the current political situation - do you think?

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    1. Oh yeah. People who literally believe unto death in something that just does not make any sense.

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  5. Sorry the booster knocked you down so much. I have mine midday tomorrow so we'll see if I duplicate your reaction. I made a lot of soup today in case I'm not up to much after the vax. Your mind is working just fine, however.

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    1. Thank you, lady!
      Like I said over on your blog, sleep, sleep, sleep. It'll all be fine.

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  6. Any higher power that allows suffering when it has the power to alieve it but chooses not too for some mysterious Greater Purpose is bullshit. I'd rather accept that all experience is equal in the mind of the Greater Power than think that Greater Power allows misery for a Greater Purpose. What fucking Greater Purpose?

    I need to get my booster. But I've said that before. And your experience is not helping.

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    1. You and I are completely simpatico when it comes to religion, Ellen.
      "God's ways are not our way's." "God's ways are mysterious."
      Right. This is what people say when their god allows great suffering. It's like the more you suffer and still believe, the stronger your faith. Obviously.
      You may not have much of a reaction at all to the booster. A lot of people don't.

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  7. I got all three jabs- pfizer and thought I had maybe received a placebo because I had zero effect, not even a sore jab site. Sorry you got nailed but you probably needed a good snooze- we all do. The story you are reading sounds like all of them, cult shit.

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    1. I seriously doubt you had a placebo but maybe your body just didn't need to react. Who knows? Not me.
      Yep. Cult shit. But different from many in a lot of ways. Still- yuck.

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  8. Got my moderna booster today and my arm is getting pretty sore. Feels like someone hit me with the tired stick too. I empathize and sympathize. Hope tomorrow is better for you.
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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  9. I too am obsessed with cults (and Mormon Stories). I am starting to suspect it is because in a cult, I can see writ large the mechanisms of abuse, particularly domestic abuse. I am not sure how to articulate this or explain it, but it feels very much tied to my own struggling to come to terms with what happened with my first marriage (plus a childhood of strict catholicism) and what powers compelled me to have such powerful and mixed feelings about all of it. The parallels are powerful to me--the control over sexuality, bodies, thoughts, daily rituals, how we shape our beliefs in ourselves and others. I don't know if that makes sense at all.

    And also? Good god the booster shot. I had Pfizer but sweet baby culty Jesus, that was a rough 36 hours or so. I am going with the theory that we have rock star immune systems and are now impervious.

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    1. Oh, Ramona! Do we not love John Dehlin? I have dreamed about him! In a very, very innocent way- trust me. For some reason, I love the fact that you're obsessed with Mormon Stories and your explanation makes perfect sense. What I do not understand is my own obsession. I always end up saying, "It's the stories of people." But that doesn't seem to cover it. Maybe I'll figure it out one of these days.
      I also think you are right about our rock star immune systems.

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  10. Oh my - I hope a good dose of sleep and an 'interesting' book has you feeling more yourself tomorrow. Looking forward (NOT) to a booster in the near future; if you live through this I suppose I will too.

    Chris from Boise

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    1. Well, like I keep saying- my reaction was not agony. Just very tiring, mostly. You can handle whatever comes your way.

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  11. Mmmm. A bit concerned reading about your reaction to the Moderna booster. Thought it was only supposed to be a half dose. The second jab knocked me down for about 36 hours, but was hoping not to have the same issue with the lower dose. Am scheduled to get mine next Monday morning. Have grandchild duty on Tuesday a.m. ...

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    1. Yes, I definitely got the lower dose but I suppose my body was ready to attack it on all fronts. You may have to back out of childcare duty. I don't think I could have done it.

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  12. Oh shit, I go in to get my Moderna booster in 90 minutes so I probably should have waited to read your post! No worries - it is what it is.
    Hope you feel much better today!

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    1. Much better- and I hope you didn't have much of a reaction.

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  13. Wow! Now I am NOT looking forward to getting my booster. I'm hoping I can get an Astra Zeneca booster, since that's what I got the first time around, but I've also heard that mixing the shots can be good so who knows.

    I think I have to read this Auroville book!

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    1. Well, you might be one of the lucky ones who has no reaction at all. Who knows? You won't know until it happens.
      I think you'd like the Auroville book but again- who knows?

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  14. Mary, did you get an whole dose of the Moderna or a half dose? I was hardly affected at all by my booster half dose, less than the first two shots, the response lighter and easier with each dose. I'm really sorry it laid you out. That book sounds fascinating. Once, when I was an editor for a magazine, I edited a story by a woman who lived and had found her life's meaning in Auroville, so I am very curious to read this version of that experience.

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    1. The nurse made sure to tell me that I was getting a very small dose so I suppose it was a half dose. I just had a strong reaction.
      Wow! I'd like to know how that woman whose story you edited found her life's meaning in Auroville! I'm sure a lot of people have.

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  15. Oh Ms Moon, I know we are on opposite ends of the vax protocol but I'm so sorry you've suffered so much from that booster. Sod it, when will we get back to normal?

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    1. Aw, it wasn't really that horrible. A cozy day in bed without guilt. Like I keep saying- it wasn't agony.

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