Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Here You Go, August!

 I have been so loathe to pick wildflowers this year. The older I get, the more I feel as if they should remain where they grow so that butterflies and bees can utilize them for their true purpose but today I couldn't stand it anymore and picked a tiny bouquet of them on my walk.

It is Halloween. I have stuck my pumpkin with a candle in it up on the fence post which is always taller than I remember and I have a bowl of miniature Reese's cups on the table by the front door and I will put the porch light on when it gets a little darker. The sun is just now setting and I can hear the tiny peeps of chicks and I'm a bit concerned because when I went out a little while ago to fill up their feeder and give them some grapes and spinach, five of them had somehow escaped the little coop and I don't think they have the slightest clue how to get back in which they desperately want to do but they also desperately do not want me to catch them and I'm going to need Mr. Moon's help to do so and he's not home yet. Poor Dearie, who, with no arms and no hands and unable to catch them in her beak to transport them safely back into the their shelter must be slightly frantic.
Oh, chickens.

So. August, who is three feet tall has a perfect viewpoint from which to see up into the range hood over my stove. I NEVER look up into that thing because I know what I'll see.
Nastiness to the greasiest degree.
And for some reason the child has been very worried about the degree of nastiness for quite awhile now and has been encouraging me to clean it.
Where did this child come from?
One day, when he and Jessie and Levon were coming over, he even got a cleaning rag and asked his mother to get it wet and put it into a bag so that they could help me clean it.
Oh, the shame.
I don't think my heart will ever recover from this story. The little bitty boy wanting to help his slovenly Mer clean her range hood.
He even asked me last week if perhaps I will clean it for his birthday.
No. I am not making this up.
I think this came about because whenever he asks for something that his mother doesn't think he needs at the moment, she'll say, "Mmmm...Maybe for your birthday."
"So, August, do you want Legos for your birthday? Perhaps some new books? Art supplies? A toy kitchen?"
"No, thank-you, Mer. Just clean that range hood for me. That is all I ask."

Well, he just had his birthday last month but I decided today to get in there or under there, as the case may be.
And so I did. I used some of Birdie's cleaning elixir which is one half cleaning vinegar and one half Dawn dish soap, a lot of KaBoom!, and two Brillo pads. I worked for about two hours and it's as good as it's going to get but the area underneath what I guess is the grease trap is still filthy as is the grease trap. I think you're supposed to be able to slide that thing out but I can't make it slide because it's glued in with...grease.
But hey, August! I have done my best! I'm sure we'll all sleep easier now, knowing how much cleaner my range hood is.

Mr. Moon is home and we managed to catch the babies and put them back and he hopefully sealed up the places where they'd been getting out. In the process I scratched my arm on a section of wire that wasn't nailed down flat and now I look as if I've taken up self-harm.

Look! If it scars, I'll have my first tattoo! 

Also, the man managed to get that grease filter thing out.
Oh, Jeez. Thanks. Now I can clean that part too. That's going to take an entire BOX of Brillo.

And because of and despite all, it's been a pretty good day and I've been in a decent mood.
These things are inexplicable.

Still no Trick-or-Treaters. And honestly, I seriously doubt we'll get any at all but I have done my part.

Who wouldn't want to come and knock on that porch door for Reese's cups? It's like the haunted house come to life, spider webs and all. 
Happy Halloween, y'all. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I love August! I believe he may grow up to be a genius.

    I also love your pumpkin. You can't beat a classic jack o lantern, can you? :)

    And I have to ask: should you get a tetanus shot? Seriously, those scratches look nasty...

  2. I said to Mr. Moon, "I hope I don't get tetanus."
    He said, "Good chance you will."
    "Thanks!" I said.
    I'm not going to worry about it tonight. But yeah, I thought about that too.

    1. Hey Mary, you know I'm shy to comment and loathe the doctor just as much as you. I promise to go get a booster shot if you will too.

  3. I hope you don't get tetanus, too. That would be bad at our age. You made a fine looking pumpkin.

  4. Ouch...I'd call your very nice young doctor in the morning...the pumpkin is wonderful, as is August...

  5. Your house looks amazing! I've had no Halloween spirit this year and only went to CVS this afternoon to pick up some candy for any trick or treaters that might come by.

  6. Perfect Halloween pumpkin photo with the picket fence, palm tree, and welcoming front porch light. That is just too funny about August and dirty stove hood. So glad you got the baby chicks in. I think tetanus is more common with puncture wounds that don't bleed freely, but that could be an old wive's tale. Must Google it!

  7. OK - Google tetanus and the Mayo Clinic says this:
    When to see a doctor
    See your doctor for a tetanus booster shot if you have a deep or dirty wound and you haven't had a booster shot in five years. If you aren't sure of when your last booster was, get a booster.

    Or see your doctor about a tetanus booster for any wound — especially if it might have been contaminated with dirt, animal feces or manure — if you haven't had a booster shot within the past 10 years or aren't sure of when you were last vaccinated.

  8. OK......yes you need a tetanus booster (coming from a medical person,,,,,and you are as well, so you know this already). August is amazing and never ceases to stun me with his young wisdom..... and the mauve colored vase that your wildflowers are in is to DIE for! Love it!
    Susan M

  9. I laughed way to hard at August and the range hood. I agree he may be a genius.

  10. Put the grease filter in the dishwasher. It works for me.

  11. catching up with you...the little kids so adorable in their clever costumes- utter joy!
    Your wound looks interestingly artful but, bet you a nickle you will need a jab.
    "This has been the best Halloween EVER" exclaimed Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the girl from Hunger games, as they all but emptied my big bowl of variety chocolates. I had to get rid of it- already eaten too much, gave me two facial blemishes and a tooth ache. Gross, but that is how I work my way into the fattest times of the year, right?

  12. I laughed so hard at August and the range hood that I choked. I guess I am going to have to stop reading your blog while lying down in bed at midnight.

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  14. me too. August and the range hood made me laugh. so that was the cleaning project. I can just see him, so earnest and worried about the grime. I've been giving my stove top around the burners the eye. getting almost to the point where I will have to dismantle the burners and scrub.

  15. Ha-ha-ha! I love it that little August wanted you to clean the oven hood for his birthday present. Maybe next year he'll want you to paint the house or have all your carpets shampooed - assuming of course that you have some carpets. What a great little fellow!

  16. So funny- I love little August-such a character. I'm glad Dearie's chicks are safe-I always enjoy your blog!

  17. Oh, how this post made me laugh. Imagine a child wanting you to clean. If it was anyone else you could have just told them to mind their own fucking business but hw could anyone say no to Little Boppy?

  18. I just love you Mary Moon. You are the bright spot of my day.

  19. Number One! You must get tetanus shot!!! Within 5 days. Anytime you have cut yourself where animals might have rubbed against the offending object or, heaven forbid, crapped on or near said object. If you think you don't need it, watch a video on Google about a person who died from tetanus.....This from the Princess who works at the Mayo! Go...right now!

  20. The thing that strikes me about August and the vent hood story is how he holds the memory of a thing over time, and how his mind circles on solutions. You have a budding engineer there, certainly a strong intellect.

  21. That story about August and the vent hood is hilarious. It's so funny the things kids fixate on. The fact that the hood bothered him so much at least shows how different it is than the rest of your (clean) house!! Glad you and Glen got those chicks corralled.


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