Wednesday, September 12, 2018

No Title

The firespike is blooming and Jessie reports that the ones she transplanted this past spring are attracting hummingbirds like crazy. I'm so glad of that. I'm sure mine are too but I've only noticed a few. In the lower half of the picture you can see one of the hurricane lilies which, for some reason, have been sprouting up in the firespike spot for two years now.
It's so hard to get the true color of red flowers with the iPhone. I don't know why that is but here's a picture which, although it does not do the color justice, shows the intricacy of the large blossom.

And here's one that does get the color right. 

I have been absolutely useless today. I woke up in a good mood and Hank and Rachel came out for a little visit and that was very fine except for the part where we buried a little kitten that they'd found in the their driveway, dead of what they did not know. They brought the poor thing here to bury because I have the shovels and the dirt and we dug a hole while slapping mosquitoes and getting ants off of us under the big tree out back where we have buried other animals. I picked two flowers to put on the grave and said, "Sleep peacefully, little one."
Rachel cried because she is tender-hearted and has been feeding that kitten and then we came into the house where it was blessedly cool and free of biting insects. 
I was fine when they left, my spirits good enough and then Mr. Moon called and asked me to look at a calendar so we can plan our trip to Cozumel for Christmas and we figured out when we want to go and then we started looking online, he on his office computer, me on my laptop here, at various places to stay and it might be that the place we have stayed the last two visits which we love, is already booked for Christmas. 
For some reason that sent me into a tailspin of despair and it shouldn't. I get so stressed out, though, and anxious too, trying to figure out where to stay. Cozumel is funny. You can spend anywhere from thousands a night for a beachfront luxury home to twenty-nine dollars a night for an extremely adequate and clean, if not fancy, place in town. 
Since we only go once every few years, I truly want to stay on the water. That is my joy and being able to get up every morning and see that water of so many colors of blue and green and teal and turquoise and even purple...well. That is everything. And watching the sun go down over it every night. And being able to just wade into that water with a snorkel and a mask to swim over the rocks and reefs to see the neon-colored fishes, to hear nothing but my own breath, to slowly glide in that different world which half of me is in while the other half is in what we perceive as the "real" world- all of that is precious and wonderful and although if given the choice of staying in town or not going at all, I would definitely stay in town but since we can, I want to be on the water. 
And when I say we "can" it doesn't mean that we can spend hundreds a night, either. 
Anyway, I could draw this discussion out for hours and obviously, we just need to call our favorite place and see if they have anything available when we want to be there and Mr. Moon ran out of time to do that and yes, I could do that so why didn't I do that? 
I will tell you why. 
I am crazy. 
And things like phone calls make me so anxious I could die. 
Look- I have to gird my loins for a day or two to call the pharmacy's automated prescription service when I need a refill. 
I am not kidding you. 
And this of course makes me loathe myself because come on- a phone call. To a very small and friendly hotel in Cozumel where Bagheera the cat who always spends a lot of time with us when we visit because we give her delicious leftovers would probably be lounging on the desk or maybe Lalo, the darling dog would be napping behind the desk and where everyone is so friendly and so sweet and I know the potted plants almost by name. Not to mention the tortoises. 
First World crazy problem, baby. First World crazy problem. 

I don't know. I just don't know anything. 

I especially don't know why it took me about three hours to make a pair of shorts that should have taken forty-five minutes, tops. 

I hope they don't fall off the lanky little boy's hips. 

I have nothing more to say right now. It all just feels so hard. And I know it will be different soon. It always is. It always passes. 

May peace be with you. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Phone calls are difficult, for me and for my kids. They are in their 20s now and still want me to make their appointments for them, which i do in spite of hating it because i love them.

    Hope they have one spot left at the place in Cozumel, saved just for you.

  2. I hate making phone calls too, appointments especially. A holiday in Cozumel sounds lovely and it's not so far for you. For us, it's a long trip. You make snorkeling sound wonderful too.

    The shorts are so cute.

    I've been feeling blue. The big guy gave me a pep talk on the way home. I hates seeing me feel sad. He pointed out that I tend to dwell on the negative and he's right. Old habits die hard.

    Sending good thoughts and hugs.

  3. ah, the kitten and no vacancy in your fav. Cozumel spot would have put me in some gloom as well....... do make that call though, challenging as it is. They know and love you and my guess is they will open a spot just for the two of you! The shorts are too cute and perfect! I hope they fit him nicely and Im sure he'll love that Mer made them!
    Susan M

  4. I avoid phone calls and human interaction in general so I get it. I am happy to hear a Cozumel trip is in the works. Those shorts are going to be a hit I think.

  5. So it's clear you're not alone (I'm another who doesn't like phone calls--and my husband is worse so I end up doing them.) Yes, you'll get this done, and you'll get to Cozumel and it will be good.
    I'm starting a mindfulness mediatation course next week; did one several years ago but was not the best of students. We'll see how this one goes--will it help with anxiety?? Not avoiding ordinary tasks that get put off for months...years? We'll see.

  6. The only blessing of having a Trump loving administrative assistant is that she's super mean and always answers the phone for me. I can't order takeout, I can't call my family without hyperventilating (for all the reasons).

    Also my admin bought me a fur vest, satanic shrunken santa heads, and many pairs of leggings from Forever 21. And makes me sandwiches that she calls "vegetarian" but I call NOPE.

  7. Sending hugs. I'm blue too and snapped at someone today...I know it will pass. but still...

  8. Mary, I’ll call and book the place for you. Seriously. I could do it for you easily but not for me.

  9. Booking holidays is a stressy misery. I hate it. And all that expectation and need for it to be right. I understand.

    The shorts are gorgeous - I think that fabric pattern is the kind the kids will remember with love and affection all their lives.

  10. It always passes. Indeed.

    I had a similar experiece this morning when, in trying to plan our Christmas trip to Florida, I learned that Olga's kennel is fully booked. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So now I have no idea what we'll do with the dog.

    But look at it this way -- you're going back to Cozumel! Maybe if the place you normally stay is full, they can recommend one to you? Maybe they'll even let you borrow Bagheera?! Ha!

  11. The phone. Meh. As a teenager I could talk for hours and hours and did. Now it rings and I don’t even bother getting up fo check the call display.

  12. The last time we went to St.Pete our favorite place was booked online but not on their website. I did end up calling and they had a room for us. I hope the same for you. I order my prescriptions online. I love the shorts. Gail


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