I went out into the world today. I just had to. Like, if I didn't, I couldn't live with myself. And I bought my kids a few presents. Nothing much. Just tinys.
I started at the hippie shop. That's what I call it, although it is really called Quarter Moon Imports and I ran into someone I've known for about twenty years and of course the owner of the shop was there and I've known her since she opened the store, twenty-five years ago. We talked about grandchildren, which is pretty funny. We're both gobsmacked at how much we love ours.
The shop smells, as all good hippie shops should, of incense and patchouli and cotton bedspreads from India. They have clothes and wall hangings and wind chimes and socks and bags and incense and candles and soap and every sort of lovely little thing. And jewelry.
I bought some of it for my babies. Like I said, just tinys.
Then I had to gird my loins and I was already breaking out in hives.
I drove to Barnes and Noble. That was pretty bad. I walked around in a state of disassociation and got one thing and had to buy one of their stupid Starbuck sandwiches (where and when are those things made?) because I needed to eat. I finally got out of there and carried my sandwich to the car and sat there and ate it, the rain falling all around me.
And then to Ross where I got a few more tinys. And then to freaking Bed, Bath, and Beyond because you have to do that.
And that was that except for the grocery store and now I'm home and it's still raining and I did it. I thought I would die but I did not die and it really wasn't crowded at all and not much traffic, probably because of the rain. Everyone seemed to be of good cheer and polite and I am most grateful for that.
Mr. Moon is in a deer stand and I've picked greens for our supper and I'm going to make deviled crab cakes and I got through this day.
"Have a happy holiday!" the woman at the Quarter Moon said.
"That's a tall order," I replied.
Maybe she thought that was a joke.
I hope so.
Anxiety ain't no joke but sometimes I can joke about it. Sometimes I can't but today I can.
I'm pretty proud of myself in a boy-do-I-suck sort of way.
So. That's what I did today. How about you?