Monday, December 22, 2014

These Things Are True

I'll tell you something- the sun has not shone since Kathleen died last Wednesday.
That is not a metaphor. It is the truth of the matter.
Gray and rainy and dreary and chilly. The wet kind of chilly.
In other words- depressing as hell.

I just read another "happiness is a choice" blog.

Wow. I keep making some bad choices.

So. The new Prove You're Not A Robot Thing? Honeys, we don't even have to tick the circle. Just hit "publish comment." It will. This will probably change but for now it's the truth.

Fantastic article from National Geographic sent to me in a comment about chickens and how they changed the world. Thanks, clp.

My chickens are squawking and not caring that it's cold and wet. I've already gotten three eggs today. I need to go clean out the hen house. That is a fact, Jack. Chickens surely do poop in the roost.

My boys are coming over in a little while. I have missed them.

Last night I dreamed I lived IN the Opera House. It got noisy when there was a show.

If there are any other true things I know, I can't remember them now. Beside the obvious one which is that anxiety can fuck your brain up as good as anything on this earth.

What do you know that's true?

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I know that I woke up so grumpy and uncoordinated that I said out loud to no one, WTF did I have a stroke? Feeling better now with my fancy coffee. And yeah, happiness is a choice in the BIG sense, but not when someone you love dies and when you are mourning them. Then the choice is get up out of bed one foot in front of the other.Choosing that over and over. That's what I think. Wishing you some sunshine. metaphorical or otherwise, Mary Moon.

  2. Well, in keeping with the tone of this post, I know that reciting affirmations is comforting bullshit.

  3. I know I'm dreading this day and that's making me feel like a horrible mother/grandmother.

  4. Good morning Mary, my love. I am back home in New York and I had a great trip but now I am grumpy as fuck. Are they really making us do Christmas in two days? Or is it three? I have the intense feeling that I am failing at Christmas, ergo failing at life. You are not alone, and you are very loved. I like what Denise said in her comment here. One foot in front of the other. I think your Opera House dream was your wish to be with Kathleen. Interesting that you were living there. It was another house dream. I am thinking of you and loving you every moment. Sometimes, I find blue sky days to be an assault on my senses and grey days can be a relief. I'll stop rambling in your comments now. lovelovelove

  5. well, not to change the tone or anything but it's a clear sky warmish kind of day today and I'm working at the antique store filling in for my sister while she is gone for the holiday. we have no work, not even a proposal to write but I don't care. I have art to make!

  6. Denise- I wake up like that sometimes too. And I think the same thing- Have I had a stroke?
    A minute ago the sun broke through the clouds for a few startling seconds. I was stunned at the sight of it.

    Elizabeth- Comforting bullshit is still comforting.

    Heartinhand- We are all in that club at one point or another, honey.

    Angella- You never ramble and you can write as much as you want here. I cherish every word. I am so glad you are home and I am sorry that Christmas is making you grumpy. God, how I understand! I am loving you, too, darling woman.
    And you are right- that was just one more house dream. Sigh...

    Ellen Abbott- And thus, you have made me feel better. Thank you, love.

  7. God how I wish this year were over. My house got broken into on Saturday night. The burglar used a ladder from my own garage to break in from the one un-alarmed window 10 feet up in my bedroom and tripped the alarm leaving thru the sliding glass door. Whoever nabbed my laptop and I have been on the phone with Apple for nearly 2 hours trying to get the laptop removed from my network and wiped clean. So far I have spent over $500 and the problem is not yet fixed. What I know for sure is that I want to dig my head in the sand and stay there. I could count my blessings but I don't want to. Sweet Jo

  8. Sweet Jo- NO! That is horrible! This just makes me sick. Were you home at the time? Are you okay? Oh honey. Fuck the blessings- this is just dreadful.

  9. Anxiety is HIDEOUS. I'm sorry you have it. My panic attacks have lessened in severity, and have become less frequent, but they lurk. They're insidious like that.

    Yeah those happiness is a choice blogs are interesting. It would be great if we could all just choose to be happy, wouldn't it? Though sometimes i write silly little rhymes on my blog because they make me feel better.

    I would love to hug that big oak someday. Out here we have the big Fir and Sequoia trees. They're beautiful!

  10. Mary, I was not home thankfully. I am okay, just shaky. The cat hid. I am dog sitting so I have somewhere else to be for another week and I am happy with that. I am not ready to go back yet. All will be okay I know. Sweet Jo

  11. We have had rain for two days and it is expected for another two. At least tomorrow will be warmer and not the chilly rain of yesterday. I rode Star and we both were glad to get out of the ring and into the barn after the ride. He is warm with his blanket on. Hopefully, tonight when he is turned out with his gelding friends, he will go into the covered shed to nap and then go graze when the rain stops. I am like a father with a son. Horses and dogs do that to me. Cats too.

  12. Wow! You don't even have to tick the box? I mean, I'm fine with that, but...what's the point, then??


Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.