Friday, March 9, 2012

I'm Going Through A Phase. Owen Is Going Through Phrases

Well, the Old Housewife had an okay day. It was especially fine once I picked up Owen and brought him home. All of a sudden the boy's language usage has exploded. He's gone from hardly putting two words together to speaking in endless sentences.
It's so cool.
Mostly I love it because we know what he's thinking. He chatters like a monkey and if you don't understand him and repeat back what we think he's said but it's wrong, he says, "No, no, no," as if he's disgusted with our ability to communicate in the English language.

He and I took a nap and the we got up and waited for Bop to come. Once Bop got here, Mer was no longer needed. He actually told me to leave the guest room so he could play Hai-Ya! with Bop and also, to close the door behind me. I told him I would if he gave me a hug. He gave me a hug. I left and closed the door.

Hai-Ya!-larity ensued, I am sure.

I have always said that I belong to the bribe-and-distract school of motherhood. I find it works fairly well as a grandmother too.

So it was a pretty simple day and I didn't begin a career and I can't say I cleaned anything either. Hell, I didn't even cook anything. We're going to eat leftovers for supper.
Oh well.
I have been craving plain old vanilla cake. You know- white cake. Maybe the kind the bakery makes. I looked for some at the Publix but the closest thing they had was St. Patrick's Day cupcakes with green icing. The woman putting them out said, "It's that time of year again!"
"To eat green unnaturally green food?" I asked her.
She laughed. I did not buy any cupcakes or anything else from the bakery department either but I sure did think about it. I could make a cake but I don't want to. Then we'd eat it. It is not a good habit to get into- that dessert thing. Maybe I should start making Jello. Jello is always fun. Especially with canned mandarin oranges in it and whipped cream on top. Especially that whipped cream that comes spraying out of the can.

Damn! What is wrong with me? I am craving junky junk food. Jello? Really? I don't know. It just sounds so good. I'm not too worried. Sometimes it sounds like a really good idea to shoot the dogs too but I refrain. It's not the thoughts that are evil, it is the doing.
Or at least in my religion. Like Jimmy Carter, I too have lust in my heart at times. At my age it's more like lust for white cake than for a man but I'm not dead yet, either. I figure that's just human and not a sin. If it is a sin, we'll all be going to hell and that's just the damn plain truth.

Which brings us back to white cake. I could EAT a piece of Publix plain white cake with Publix plain white icing on it. A really big piece. But I won't. I would if had it but I don't. Instead I'll eat some leftover pizza I made the other night that has about fifteen different sorts of vegetables on it and some venison sausage and not a lot of cheese. The crust has flax seed in it.
Oh yeah. I'm wild.

You know what else would taste good? A big ol' bowl of instant chocolate pudding. With spray whipped cream all over it.

Wow. There has got to be something wrong with me.

Shit. Now I really want chocolate pudding.

And I swear- I have not been smoking dope. Maybe I'm having dope-smoking flashbacks. Or I'm entering my second childhood.

Whatever. Friday night in Lloyd where the only place you can buy any sort of anything is the truck stop or the Subway. They probably sell Twinkies down at the truck stop. Let me think.....
No. I am not craving Twinkies.

Okay. I better go heat up that pizza.

I sure hope y'all are having as much fun as I am!

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. I'm having triple cream Brie & a baguette (yay!) and mourning a lost friendship (boo!).

    I love when kids really start to talk and you can find out what they are thinking. Lately I ask my boy random questions like, "What is your favorite dessert?" just to see what he says.

  2. Glad you aren't craving Twinkies. Those things have the shelf life of nuclear waste.

    It sounds like you have the leftover cravings from a couple of days of worry and anger. Those always leave me craving stuff, too.

    Kids are great when they start talking -- such wonderful ideas as they have!

  3. Blue Gal- Don't even say "triple cream" to me. I mean really. Don't. I made chocolate pudding. Out of fat free evaporated milk. Sigh...
    Still, it's tasty. Enough.

    messymimi- Could be. I sort of want a Whataburger too. With Jalapenos. I feel certain I am NOT pregnant.

  4. O honey, I'd give my left arm for a large chocolate chip cookie fresh from the oven. And I'm on this effing diabetes diet for my honey's sake. She's the diabetic one; I'm being supportive.

    And I haven't even lost weight. Fuck.

    Anyway, the junk food thang. I know a place that makes FRESH old fashioned donuts. Crunchy. Fluffy. Maybe I'll go get one tomorrow.

  5. I think you are right about the play date. Kyle and Owen sound so similar when I read your stories and I think they would have a lot of fun together. Hope the pizza satisfies your cravings. Have a great weekend.

  6. Beth- No fair! You should at least be losing weight. You are a darling to be so supportive. Now go get that doughnut.

    Mr. Shife- Jon's Colin could come to the play date as well. It would be so funny to see the three of them together. The pizza was fine. Just fucking fine, dammit. I swear.

  7. Cut a nanner up in that pudding.

  8. Maybe you're craving a soft and sweet new baby? With whipped cream on top?

  9. I admire your restraint. I would have totally gone to the Publix, gotten a piece of the white cake with white frosting and eaten it in the car. No one would have known.

  10. You're not about to have another period, are you?

  11. Well, I HAVE been smoking dope and there's no amount that would convince me that jello or instant pudding are worthy of lust. However, lately, I have craved Kraft dinner. I make amazing mac and cheese so this is a sacrilege. I bought the "smart" kind made with cauliflower. It tasted just like KD. Not good. Why did I think it would be?

  12. PMS...
    The 'M' goes away, the cravings never do!

  13. DTG- That would be too healthy.

    Denise- Mmmm. I would not be surprised.

    Elizabeth- They didn't have a piece of white cake. I would have, otherwise. Believe me.
    I am blaming you, you know. Those cupcakes!

    Jo- I do not think so. The thought crossed my mind, though.

    Jeannie- You make me laugh! Thank you for your honesty! And what IS it about Kraft macaroni and cheese? I love that shit.

    Lucy- You wise woman, you.

  14. If you can find Twinkies any more--Hostess has gone under and won't be making those or the cupcakes anymore. The loss of a great munchie staple-- sad really.


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