Lord god almighty. It is nine o'clock in the morning and I have taken the dogs to the groomer, washed and braided my hair, gone to the dump and the post office and well, I guess that's it.
For those of you who are at work and being constructive at seven a.m., please forgive me for my bragging.
Owen is coming any moment and I am excited to have another day with that boy. I wonder what he'll be up to today. Do you have any idea how much my heart swells when he smiles at me or lets his body sag against mine in comfort and familiarity? I think about what his life would be like if he had to be in day care and it makes me feel so grateful, so happy that he can be here with me instead of in a crib somewhere in a room with ten other babies. Owen doesn't even know what a crib is which may come back to bite his mama and daddy on the ass at some point but for now, it is what it is and what it is is a joy to carry and hold him, to talk to him all day, to play with him, to encourage his smiles and giggles with silliness and songs.
Ah, yah. That boy.
A lot of the blogs I read are talking about Lent and what they are giving up for it. I find it so curious that a god would be honored by a person giving up one of the joys of his or her life in the god's name and in his service. No offense to believers and I can certainly understand giving up something for a period of time in the service of personal improvement or in order to pare away that which interferes with growth and/or spirituality but to do it in honor of a god? Or maybe I'm confused. Maybe that's not the point at all. I don't know. I'm not Catholic. But I'll tell you this- if I gave up anything for Lent, it wouldn't be Diet Coke which I don't really drink anyway. It would be guilt. I wish I could give up guilt for Lent. And for life, too. Unfortunately, it's far easier to give up something like meat than it is to give up guilt, which, as we all know, is the gift that keeps on giving.
And it just occurred to me that the very term "give up" implies a giving, of course, and there you go again- back to offering your sacrifice to a deity.
Frankly I wish a deity would offer me the gift of taking away guilt which basically I don't think I need to carry around as tightly bound to me as I do. But there you go- crazy is crazy and this is my sort of crazy and there will be no more talk of Lent here, I promise you.
So since I started writing this, Owen has come and we've gone out to see the chickens and give them their corn and he's had a bottle and now he's napping. I better get to work here while I have the chance. Which first? Dishes or laundry? Floors or dusting? I don't know. But let me say this- Angelina Joliet is too damn skinny. While I was giving Owen his bottle I watched a little bit of The Changling and it may be a good movie but all I could think about was that Angelina is all bones, eyes and lips and if the camera adds ten pounds, then she must weight 78.
Girlfriend- eat a cracker! Give up starvation for Lent!
Damn. I already broke my promise not to discuss Lent again.
Well, that's me.
I hope you're having a good morning. I am.
Love...Ms. Moon
Yeah, Lent is sort of ridiculous -- at least the way most Catholics practice it -- giving up Diet Coke and blogging and all that jazz. I think it's original intent was quite beautiful, though, and I always admire those who use the time in some sort of deep spiritual way -- perhaps instead of giving UP, just plain GIVING.
ReplyDeleteLove to you and little Owen.
As usual, we are on the same page with Lent. I just don't get that shit at all. I think if there is a God, it wants us to be happy and enjoy our live, as you are so clearly enjoying yours this fine morning with Owen.
ReplyDeleteI love you Mary Moon!
Here in New Orleans where we party hard most of the time, all my friends are SOOOO happy for Lent because after the past three weeks of INTENSE revelry, they need a break (the only time Bourbon Street ever shuts down is at midnight on Mardi Gras).
ReplyDeleteI never understood Lent before living here, but now I see it as a seasonal sort of thing - a rest after a HUGE party (8,000 tons worth, I just read). And it's healthy for us to have this sort of rest, to not drink and eat so heavily all the time. My hunch is that like most "Christian" traditions, it's actually a pagan thing - actually, I'm pretty sure it is. Based on long winter, as we now begin to enter spring, a huge party to celebrate this, to plunge out of winter and into refreshing new life, while reflecting and being grateful for nature's bounty.
Me? I will give up studying after next week's bar exam!
We shall agree to disagree about Lent, my dear friend, and instead agree that life is sweet most of the time, that guilt is a fucker, and Owen is the most gorgeous baby ever. And by the by, My Owen never had a crib either-and though his long legs and bony elbows hurt when he needs to climb in with his mama in the middle of the night, I don't think it has hurt too much. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with NOLA. Giving up candy bars and jerking off to please an all powerful God is a little silly, but the idea of wallowing in decadence at the end of the year, only to be reborn from those excesses into a naked, clean state, is one I can get behind.
ReplyDeleteIf I observed Lent, I'd never feel I gave enough. My friends usually choose chocolate, and it doesn't seem right somehow. I don't find comfort in anything religious but the music of my Methodist upbringing. I love a beautiful old hymn, and I'm Ok with the songs about gratitude for the glorious earth and prayers for peace while we sleep. And I really love stained glass windows. Otherwise, faith eludes me. I believe in love.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you have the joyful little man to top off your heart. I had to resort to baby tapes to get a fix this week! I can almost smell your fresh sheets below, mmmm!
Let me tell you I am not of the work at 7am variety and I was VERY impressed with your early morning accomplishments. Plus you blogged, which made my morning easier to enter.
ReplyDeleteOh I don't think you can handle the Changling story. It's much too heartwrenching for a mother like you to watch.
Happy Day lovely, bright, dear Ms Moon.
You think I could give up my job for Lent and tell them it was a religious thing?
ReplyDeleteAh yes, it may well bite them on the ass... says she with the 2.5 year old who sleeps horizontally in between her and his father and wakes her up shouting 'I WANT BOOB! BOOBIA!!'at 6am.
ReplyDeleteBut there's no other way for first time parents sometimes. Or, er, second ones...
Yes to Angelina, it's sad.
And finally, a thought: your dogs go to the groomer, but you reject pedicures and hair cuts? Agh!
Oh, and about Angelina - for some reason I remember that she filmed it shortly after her mother's death. People were giving her all sorts of hard time about being too skinny and she finally just said, "I am completely devastated by the loss of my mother. I've lost weight from grief."
ReplyDeleteAnd she did not then wear a vial of her mother's blood.
As with most of it, religion and church gets Lent wrong.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't about giving up chocolate. Maybe a little spring cleaning of the soul and mind ,
It is a beautiful way to accept grace.
I'm good with that.
I'm impressed with all you did before 9:00 AM! All this bonding with Owen is wonderful for you both. I'm so glad you're able to do this, too.
ReplyDeleteI don't give up things that bring me joy for lent, but like many, I try to give up that which does not serve me. I should do this all the time, but seasons center me, and give me reasonable goals.
ReplyDeleteFor example, I want to give up the way I express stress through anger. If I could be more aware of my feelings, I could let go of the anger that weighs me down like a boulder on my back.
This is what I think about making sacrifices: it's like math. It's not about doing the math. It's about teaching your brain to work at a higher pitch. Giving something up for Lent isn't about what you sacrifice to a deity; it's about helping you reflect and think, focus your spirituality. Like all teaching methods, it doesn't work for everyone. And it is impossible for me to imagine a god or goddess who does not want his or her children to be as happy as we all want Owen to be. But that's just me. Each to her own, and be happy in your spot. Love, love.
ReplyDeleteI will never forget my Sorority-girl, ex-roommate giving up cursing for Lent. It was doubly bad because she used it as a way to punish herself for "being fat" (which she was 100% not fat), and said she would do about 20 crunches for every slipped curse word.
ReplyDeleteI think she started cursing more because of Lent.
I love how much you embrace being a "Grandmaw."
ReplyDeleteIt's precious to watch.
Just a little love note from my days as a Christian..
ReplyDeleteHaha..
Christianity would say that Jesus does offer you a gift.. in fact the very gift you are desiring. The gift of being guilt-free through faith in Jesus Christ. He offers forgiveness for all things and therefore removes all guilt.
Now.. Having said that, I have grown to believe that is a crock of shit.
So many promises granted, but then that same God can supposedly send you to Hell, or at least retract some of those promises for being in love with someone of the same sex? Or for having sex before marriage? Or any other number of things you might happen to do that "displease" HIM. (Male.)
I'm spiritual by my nature. I'm non-religious by my choice.
I'm tired of pompous religious characters strutting their know-it-all answers for every situation in life, no matter how ridiculous. Some things have no answer, no explanation.
In some ways, I can see the beauty in Lent. The sacred practice of restraint. But most people only do it because they think they have to, or they think they're a good person for taking part. If you're participating for your own personal spiritual reasons, and you know those reasons, and they're important to you--I have no problem. It's the reLiGUlous reasons that irk me.
I'm sorry.. did I just rant in the comment section?
You got more done before 9 a.m. than I got done all day.
ReplyDeleteAND you got to cuddle that gorgeous Owen.
I give up, period. No need for Lent here. Pass Owen please, I would never give up cuddling him and kiss him to exhaustion. Lent, schment as long as I have chocolate and Owen and not necessarily in that order.
ReplyDeleteLove to you sweetpea.
Elizabeth- Agree.
ReplyDeleteMs. Bastard- I love you too!
Nola- But if we don't do the huge partying, I see no need to give anything up. Balance, I guess. I agree with you about the probably Pagan roots.
Kori- I love to be disagreed with so sweetly.
DTG- When you put it like that...
Mel- Even hymns creep me out. I swear. Stained glass is okay, depending on what it depicts.
Bethany- The bits and pieces of it I saw freaked me out.
Stephanie- You can try.
Bloglandcrush- That was the way it was for me and my babies, too. All four. As to the dogs- I take them to the groomers because I can't deal with all that hair and toenails and let's not even mention stripping their anal glands...
Nola- That explains a lot. I just wonder why she keeps working so incessantly when she has all those kids. What drives her?
Deb- Spring cleaning is a fine thing.
Joy- I do the things I love and I'm lucky to be able to.
Well, not the dogs. That part I don't love.
Nancy C- That makes sense.
Angie C- Good words. Love you, too.
HoneyLuna- Well. She was young and confused.
AJ- Rant here anytime, girl. I like what you said. A lot.
Michelle- Long day, but a good one.
Allegra- Oh. I think of how much you would love to see him in real life all the time. He smells and feels ever better than he looks. Love back to you, sweetpea, yourself. How's your back?
I tell you Ms. Moon, Angelina and Brad bought that house just down the street from me a few years back and they have NEVER invited me over! So, sadly I have insights into her motivations whatsoever. I guess she works for the same reasons I would if I had children - that I find pleasure and meaning and joy and identity in my work, and because I would expect that I would share all the responsibilities of parenting with the other parent.
ReplyDeleteI think the thing I like to remember is that there are a gazillion different ways to be a good parent, and what is most important is to love your child and love yourself enough to do what is best for you AND your child, and the rest falls into place. It's like when my godson's mother was despondent that no matter what, he would not latch on (yes, all the experts in the world could not make breastfeeding happen). And her doctor finally said, "I was a bottle baby! Yes, we prefer breastfeeding for many reasons, but the reality is that all sorts of very healthy, productive people were fed formula! So stop beating yourself up!" Same with daycare vs. stay-at-home-parent; homeschooling vs. private vs. public schools. And all that. We are constructing mommy wars (you aren't - I'm just ranting now) and I hate how it makes people feel bad about themselves. Do the best you can and let it go!
BTW just now I was scoping out airfare to Haiti, wondering if it would be cost-effective to drive to Miami and fly directly from there, and I thought, "I could stop by and visit Ms. Moon and we could talk face to face instead of me hijacking her comments with my rants!" Well, it is not financially prudent to drive to Miami and park there, but I still think we would have much more fun in person!
Well, I don't know how I could follow with a comment after Nola. Her rants sound pretty interesting to me. Can I just say that I am fascinated by religion? I'm a sucker for tradition.
ReplyDeleteI must say, MM, that little Owen is looking like he is starting to get that 'around 6 month' pudge going on!!! His face is filling out a bit. My own Baby C has A LOT of the 6 month pudge going on - he's a little porker :D
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree about Lent and Angelina.
"I'm giving up guilt for Lent." Genius.
ReplyDeleteLent is just another ritual. Rituals in their purest form merely symbolize an engagement with God, a willingness to think in spiritual terms. Unfortunately the Catholic Church has so perverted everything with its focus on sin, suffering and guilt that there is very little space left for love and joy, without which life is pretty pointless.
10 minutes cooing over your grandson has more spiritual meaning than all the Lent in creation.
It's so odd that people search for God everywhere but right in front of their faces.
I kept up with Lent for a lot longer than I did with Catholicism. I always felt it was a lovely, purifying thing to do. My uncle has been something of a Buddhist for years, and he still does Lent. (I have given it up for a while now.)
ReplyDelete