Monday, September 28, 2009

Home Coming


Aunty May finally got to see Owen today. She came up to the hospital while I was there and she held him and she cried.

And then Owen pooped while she was holding him. Lily was just saying he hadn't pooped in a long time and it was worrying her a bit and then, as if he was trying to be a good boy, he let loose. His face got all red the way baby's faces do when they poop and he had a look on his face like, "WHAT?!! Are you freaking KIDDING ME? I have to poop TOO?! GOD, life is so hard!"

And Lily changed his diaper and he settled right back down into a snooze. It's hard work, pooping. Everything is hard work when you're a newborn. Back in the womb there was no work at all. Just being was enough. Sort of like going on a cruise. All you have to do is let them pump the second dinner seating into your umbilical cord and you're good to go. "More lobster, Mr. Hartmann? Here, let me magically make it appear in your belly. Caviar to go with that? Shot of icy vodka? No problem. The temperature okay for you? Oh. It's always perfect. That's right. Comfy? Good. We aim to please."

But he's living on planet earth now and he has to work for his dinners (which is the name Mr. Moon's mama called nursey titties- "dinners" - and how much do we love that?) and work to poop and it feels so disturbing when someone tries to change his clothes or wipe his precious little ass or put socks on him. ARRRGGGHHHH! They're doing stuff to me again!

Anyway, so it goes for each and every baby born. They know what to do to make the milk come, they do know how to pee and poop and cry when necessary. Owen cries like this: "Nanananananana!" Like a goat, sort of. He's my precious little billy goat. He's easily comforted, though, and mostly what comforts him is ninny, also known as nurnies or nursies, also known as dinners, also known as chi-chi's, also know as the tit. Whatever you call it, he likes it, he loves it, he wants some more of it.

I went over to Lily and Jason's house after I visited them at the hospital and made up their bed and fed their cats and cleaned out the litter box and ran a few loads of laundry and went to the store and bought them food so they won't starve. And juice. Gotta have lots of juice when you're nursing. I remember when Hank was born and they sold giant cans of concentrated grape juice at the Co-op and I would make a gallon of grape juice a day and drink it. My favorite thing to eat was a patty melt. And I had been a vegetarian before I got pregnant. I'd fry that meat up and put cheese on it and eat that between two slices of grilled rye bread. Oh my god. That was food of the gods. And fruit salad. Patty melts, grape juice, fruit salad. With raw cashews in it. And I was 21 and nursing my hungry newborn and I was back in a bikini before the summer was half over. Ah yeah, those were the days.

Anyway, Jason and Lily came home with Owen and I took pictures



and I told them what I'd done and then I left. It was mighty hard to leave. Not because I don't think they can handle things on their own. I know damn well they can. It was hard to leave because watching them brings back so many memories of my new-mothering days. I remember when Hank was just a few days old and had such a fussy time and I felt so inadequate but something told me to get into the bathtub with him and I did. I held him in my hands and let his body float in the warm water and he quit fussing and his eyes opened up as big as saucers and I know he was thinking, "This feels so familiar. This feels so good." And he was happy. My baby, my instincts.

I told Lily and Jason today what I always used to tell my new mommies and daddies at the Birth Center when I worked there, which was that no one on earth has ever raised this particular child before. I would say, "Look at this perfect baby your body knew how to create. And you know how to take care of him, too. Listen to your gut."
And that's what I told Lily and Jason. That if someone gave them advice or told them something that their gut disagreed with, they should ignore that advice and do what their gut says. Even if I say it. And if they need to tell me to shut up and butt out, to do it. I may have raised four kids, but I have never raised Owen.

And that's the damn truth.

So I left. Owen had on a cotton diaper and nothing else and he had no heplock on his tiny arm, no monitoring device or clamp on his navel. Just pure Owen and a white cotton diaper, soft from use by his Aunty Jessie.

And I left.

I'll go back tomorrow with my favorite Mama's Post-Partum Meal: Steak salad, homemade Challah bread and prune cake. Don't you laugh about prune cake. That is some good cake.

What a great day. Owen came home. He is healthy and strong. His mama and daddy are fine, smart, and capable and they love him to pieces. Lily doesn't even look like she missed two nights of sleep, much less just had a baby. She is glowing like a sunrise.

And it's Billy's birthday, too. Happy birthday Billy.

Happy homecoming, Owen.

All is well and all is well and all is very, very, very well.
At least in my world. I have no idea what is happening anywhere else and for this moment, that is fine with me.

I hope all is well with you, too. I shall get back to reading blogs and answering comments soon.
Until then, know how much I appreciate you.

Love...Ms. Moon

27 comments:

  1. You should put this sage advice into a book: Being a Grandma for Dummies, or the Common Sense Guide to Raising a Child. You said everything I wish someone had said to me (or the Grammies) when I brought my first baby home. I have to remind myself still, in the teen years, to listen to my gut. There are no right answers, are there?
    And you sure know how to take care of your family just right, all that love and support and shopping and cat poop scooping just makes me feel warm and cozy inside.
    This is the warmest, coziest, happiest place in the internet, if you ask me. I'm grateful to watch from afar and share in the joy.
    Bless all our hearts.

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  2. You just have to look at Lily and Jason's face to know that everything in their world is right and loving.
    Now, you are not my Owen but you need some rest Ms.Moon. All this excitement and wondrous things are usually as you know a high of adrenaline, so got sit with Mr Moon in that gorgeous porch of you and toast each other and the wonderful family you are all blessed with. If I could, I would have a drink with you as well. Bless all of yours and the rest of us that share this miracle.

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  3. Mel- Oh Mel. Damn. Thank-you.

    Allegra- Mr. Moon is on his weekly business trip so I am all alone and really? it is a bit of heaven although I miss him. And yes, it's funny how long it is taking me to catch up on one night's lost sleep. May and I were talking about this today and how it's like trying to become "normal" again after tripping all night. I would love to sit and have a drink with you on my porch. I feel like I am sort of doing that. Thank-you.

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  4. My God! Having babies really agrees with lily!! She looks so beautiful and radiant! More than usual even!!

    I'm so happy to hear the updates and see the pretty pictures. Their happiness and relief to be home is palpable.

    Love U,
    Love, me

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  5. PF is right- Lil does look extra radiant!
    Mama, I think you might have to win the award for best grandma. You've already won the best mom award, so I guess I'm going to have to find you some mugs at Goodwill stating the fact.
    Now take your own advice for me, and get some damn sleep!

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  6. Ms. Fleur- Isn't she beautiful?

    HoneyLuna- As soon as I eat my omega-three rich salmon I am going to bed. I promise. Now you get some sleep, too!
    P.S. I would totally love one of those mugs. Damn. I can't believe I just said that.

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  7. I was crying in that picture but damn, doesn't my hair look nice?
    But seriously, Lily is glowing like a sunrise. I think I got high off the three of them today, I was just singing and floating. What a gorgeous family. And they are my family! We are so blessed.

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  8. Your hair is great May! I seriously was thinking that when I saw the picture...mine wouldn't do that if I bribed it with booze :)

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  9. May- All of my children have no fear of holding a baby. "Give him to me!" you all say and that baby knows he's in capable hands. Safe enough to poop. Safe enough to go right back to sleep. "You have such beautiful hair, Aunty May," he will say. "Give it to me, let me play with it in my long, perfect fingers."
    And he will learn to braid, just by knowing your hair in his hands.

    SJ- Isn't it? Beautiful?

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  10. While you were out of the room I told him that when he gets big he can come to my house and we can watch movies and then draw on my floor, that's right! Right on the floor! with sidewalk chalk and then mop it up and then skate around in the mopping and then have a bath. And then we will each make our own pizza and we will read books in a tent for sleeping. I forgot to tell him that he can have his own toothbrush at my house, and maybe I will put his shampoo in a honey bear so we can pretend we are bears in a bath tub. ...maybe I will let him have a scoop of ice cream on his pancake, heh heh heh....

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  11. May- And Jason got a bit perturbed at me for telling him he can come and play with my chickens! Dammit! There's not enough boy to go around! Ice cream on his pancakes? THAT IS NOT FAIR! I'll give him ice cream on his chicken nuggets. I'll give him ice cream on his ice cream! In his bath! You bet!
    Oh. What fun we are going to have with Owen.

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  12. That was excellent advice! Perfect in fact!

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  13. Well Ms. Moon, I've missed so much the last few days. Congrats to you and Lily and Owen and the whole family. Good looking guy!!

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  14. The best advice you could possibly give. And we appreciate you right back.

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  15. May is not fair! She's going to be the fun Aunt for sure. Oh well, I guess I'll have to be the rich aunt who buys him his favorite toys, and then when he gets older I will take him to Paris. Haha, just kidding. The rich aunt is nice, but I want to be a fun aunt too.

    And I do love that new header. My phone is now wallpapered with his pretty little face and it just about makes me cry every time I see it.

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  16. I'm so glad they're at home and cozy. I hated being in the hospital with the nurses taking my baby from me every ten minutes.

    I drank gallons of lemon water when I was first nursing. I just couldn't get enough...just water with giant chunks of lemon and ICE! Tons and tons of ice.
    I'd eat cottage cheese and fresh peaches every day for lunch, and chick peas all the time. Those first few days are like bliss. Holding the baby all the time, nursing him, watching him sleep, *sigh*.

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  17. Wonderful advice! What a beautiful little family too. I laughed when I read the word ninny because that's what we used to call them when I was little.

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  18. How adorable is that lil baby! Congratulations!

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  19. I love that picture of dad holding Owen. He's more and more like Pawpaw. You should buy him some coveralls.

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  20. This happy post and that photo of May, holding the baby finally, make my whole damn day. I DO NOT KID. And it's ugly and cold here in Ohio, so that says a lot.

    Obviously Owen is already very comfortable with May since he pooped while in her arms. Surely if you can poop while someone is holding you, then you feel GREAT comfort in their presence.

    Love, SB.

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  21. Owen knows already that you're his best friend.... see, he's calling your name "Nanananana"! Lily is so lucky to have you as her Mama, with your love, support and advice. You are a wonderful woman Ms Moon... always remember that. So much love x

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  23. Owen knows already that you're his best friend.... see, he's calling your name "Nanananana"! Lily is so lucky to have you as her Mama, with your love, support and advice. You are a wonderful woman Ms Moon... always remember that. So much love x

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  24. To Ms. Moon and Honeyluna and Miss Maybelle-

    I'm up for adoption.
    Just sayin'

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  25. Michelle- Didn't we sign the paperwork already on that one?

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  26. Your advice to them is so very right on. My mom has always said the same to me and I give the same advice to my friends when they have babies. It's such a relief when you realize that your gut will tell you what to do -- you don't need to have read a bajillion books or taken 50 classes.

    I'm just so excited and happy for you all. Hooray!

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