It's Always Chow Time, Isn't It?

 It was another weeping day today. I don't know why. The amount of uselessness I feel lately has been overwhelming. I don't feel like I'm being there as a wife or as a mother or as a grandmother and as I become more and more reclusive, these feelings become more intense because honestly- they are true. 
It is a dreadful ring-around-the-rosy battle, a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, I suppose. I feel as if I have no connection at all with the busy, traveling, laughing woman I used to be but then I stop and remember- I had depression then too. I had anxiety then too. I just couldn't give in to it to the degree I can now when very little forces me out of my house. 
I will be talking to my doctor about possible changes in my medications next week. 
Meanwhile, I had just finally gotten motivated enough today to get out and work in the yard when Glen got home from doing a chore at one of the places he hunts and said that he was going to pick up Lily's kids to take them to lunch and to get frozen yogurt. At first I could not even fathom going with them but when he asked me if I was, I knew I had to go. I really did. And so I changed out of my overalls and into a dress and slipped hoop earrings on and we went and picked up the kidlings. Maggie was so dressed up and pretty with very well-done make-up and clasp earrings and a hairband with a butterfly pinned to the top. The silver shoes were the icing on the cake. The boys were ready to go, Owen had just gotten off work. 
We went to Chow Time because it's so easy. Everybody gets what they want, no hassles with a menu. Maggie always gets miso soup and sushi and chicken on a stick and Gibson likes the sushi too. Owen gets a variety of things. I love the soup and the green beans and the cabbage and a few bites of different types of stir fry, shrimp and an egg roll. The kids told us about things going on in their lives. Owen has taken his driver's ed test online and can go get his learner's permit as soon as he turns fifteen which will be on Thursday. 
Yes. I swear to you- he turns fifteen on Thursday. I do realize this is impossible and yet, here we are. 
He is going to take a drone piloting class soon and is excited about that. His grades are very, very good. He's in all the advanced classes, already getting credits for college. Plus of course, he's working. He is the best big brother imaginable, always keeping his eye on Maggie and Gibson, too. He is six feet tall now. He is purely grand. 

Gibson reports that he is doing well in school, has friends, and is happy. He loves his cat Nico and Nico loves him. I saw the little black kitty jump from their couch onto his shoulder when I was hugging them goodbye after our outing. 

And Magnolia? Well, she is the queen of the universe, still and always. Her conversations include the word, "...basically..." in a most generous manner. She is already feeling better after being on her antibiotic for a day and had no complaints in that area.

Although Chow Time has a large selection of desserts, Maggie had been promised a trip to Nuberri, a very fun frozen yogurt and ice cream place, if she'd had a good week in certain behavioral areas which she had, and so rather than get dessert at the restaurant, we took them to Nuberri. The place sells soft serve frozen yogurt and ice cream and sorbet which you yourself dispense in a cup and then there are a great number of choices of toppings you can add on. The cup is weighed at the cash register and you pay by the ounce. Children, of course, love this. So does Mr. Moon. I was way too full to even contemplate that sort of foolishness. 

And then we took them home and they must have said "thank-you" ten times apiece and I was so happy to tell Lily how sweet her babies had been. 

I had been more cheerful during our time with the kids, of course. That is how it works. I quit thinking for a few hours about me and my pathetic life and concentrated on them and their lives. When we got home, my spirit sank again but I put my overalls back on and went out and cleared at least another six square inches in the area I was working on a few days ago. It's so dense with plants that I do not want in there. And there are a few plants that I do want- mostly ferns. I love ferns. They have my full-hearted encouragement to grow wherever they want but it's hard to dig up the bulbs of the crocosmia and the roots of the many other invasive plants without disturbing the ferns, that I wonder if it's worth it to even try to save them. 
At one point, as I was searching around in the dirt to locate the crocosmia bulbs, it suddenly appeared as if a small clod of dirt had become animate, hopping a few inches away from my hand and stopping still. It was the sweetest little toad you ever saw, his camouflage almost perfect. I moved to a different area to let him feel less threatened. 

And Mr. Moon has done a very fine thing. When we moved here, the water supply came from a well that was pumped from the ground via a...pump. It was fine except that if the pump had a problem or if we lost power, we had no water which is worse than having no electricity. When Jefferson County put in a water system, we signed up and got hooked up. It has been quite satisfactory. We have thought our pump was broken all this time but a guy who had come to fix our across-the-street neighbors' pump came over and gave it a look and said all it needed was to have the air in it leaked out and he did that and now it works again. So Glen dug down and reattached the line to the garden from the pump and so we are, as we speak, watering with well water. 

And I guess, aside from the crying, it's been a good day. 

Pine cone lilies. Those cones are heavy with the liquid they contain but I have not tried it as to its ability to wash hair yet. The arrangement of them in the house reminds me of bark cloth, which of course I love. 

Off to cook more fish. 

Love...Ms. Moon