I'm A Tired Old Woman Tonight

I would like to thank all of you who told your stories of grief in the comments from yesterday's post. I was beyond moved. I think if I learned anything from all of you it's that we all grieve differently, we all grieve for different reasons, and we all express our grief differently. And that in different circumstances the same person can react in completely different ways to different losses. I know that I have. And your experiences helped me to see that, recognize that. The way I grieved Sue or Lynn or Kathleen was completely different from the way I grieved for my mother, if indeed what I felt then could be called grief.  Part of me feels guilty about that but not very much. I reacted the way I reacted for so many reasons and I am here to tell you that I wish it had all been different but it wasn't. 

Anyway, you have all given me much to ponder and I love all of you for your courage and honesty. I am humbled. And once again, I am reminded that there are things which all of us must go through in this life and that none of us are strangers to loss. 

It felt a bit cooler this morning. And drier, too. So I took a little walk but by the time I got home, I realized it wasn't that much cooler or less humid. I was soaked through with sweat. 

I saw some of the damage that the hurricane left behind in its wake. Some big trees down, ditches filled with water. Branches broken and snapped. But no houses toppled or roofs torn off. I walked by the GDDG and it looked perfectly fine. The filling-in of that particular low spot was done well, I suppose, and it was nowhere near washed away. The fally-down house is still falling, but not flattened yet. I realize that may not happen in my lifetime. I like that idea. 

I passed a huge tree whose top had broken off, it seemed. It was hollow and beautiful in its way. 

It's very hard to tell from a picture how massive that gaping hollowed out part is but it's taller than I am. 

I wonder how many critters have found homes in that tree over the years. 
Speaking of critters, the squirrels here are fat and sassy now. There has been a pretty good acorn mast from the oak trees and now they are eating pecans as fast as they can get their sharp little teeth on them. They are scurrying around trees, hot on each others' tails. I don't think this is their mating season so perhaps they are defending their stashes of nuts or perhaps they are simply playing, which the juveniles frequently do. A lot of people dislike squirrels, calling them tree rats and other derogatory names. And yes, they eat the birdseed if they can get at it and they eat the pecans and they...well, what DO they do besides those things that get people so upset? I've lived around squirrels all my life and they are just part of our scenery. They chitter and they run around the trees, their toenails making a scittery sound as they grab on to the bark. They sit up and eat with their front paws like little trained bears. They are natural acrobats, leaping from branch to branch and a mother squirrel will defend her babies with the ferocity of a lioness against snakes and hawks and owls. 
I rather like the furry little things and would miss them terribly if they were gone. 

I wanted to try and get a little work in the garden done today and I guess I did. Not much. Every person I know who is over the age of sixty-something complains about the same thing, it seems to me. 
"I just can't take the heat anymore," they all say. 
Good Lord. Me either. So I doubt I worked out there more than forty-five minutes but that was all I had in me. I'm trying to clear it out to make room for the fall and winter garden and this involves not only weeding and pulling of spent plants but also the pulling of sweet potato vines which I have allowed to take over. 
Mr. Moon did indeed warn me about this. 
"Oh, honey," I said. "Let them grow."

Yes. Well. The vines stretch out in long, strong tendrils and the sweet potatoes themselves are only to be found in certain rooted parts of the vines. I pulled and cut some of the vines today and I dug up one nice little patch of the potatoes. They are small and slender and many would say that it's too early to pull them but let's get real- we need some room here for the greens! I should have taken a picture of them but I didn't. When I garden, I put my phone in a ziplock because no matter how deep my overall pockets, dirt is gonna get in there and mess with the charging ports and so forth. I wouldn't take it to the garden at all but it is completely necessary for me to be able to listen to my books and podcasts as I work. But some days (like today) the very idea of expending enough energy to wipe my hands off and get my phone out of its protective baggie to take a picture is just overwhelming. 

By the time I knew I was done, my knees were hurting, my hips were hurting, and I was frustrated and very unhappy that I am in no way, shape, or form capable of doing what I used to be able to do. 

So I came in the house and made soup with some leftover chicken and some celery and the rest of the vegetables that did not get eaten last night while the football game was on. In other words, I used my super power (souper power?) to take leftovers and create even more leftovers. 

Some of this will be going in the freezer without a doubt. 

So that's been my day here in Lloyd. Mr. Moon spent most of the day in town, first at the gym and then going on various missions to get things he needed for his various projects AND things that a neighbor needed for some engine repair and so forth. And because he is such a sweetheart, he brought me home a present. 

My very own stick-picker-upper! 

And I did actually ask for one. 
"Happy birthday," he said, as he slapped it down on the counter. 
"Thank you!" I said. "Just what I wanted."

I'm a lucky woman. 

Love...Ms. Moon