Thursday, January 12, 2023

Retracing Old Paths


I decided today to walk an old route of mine. I took this route for years and many of you probably remember it. It went through an old, deserted gas station's parking lot to a path in the woods that took me to one entrance to a horse farm and then I'd retrace my steps and go back around the other part of the loop to a different entrance. I did this walk so many times that I could have probably done it blindfolded. My neighbor Abraham used to shake his head at me for doing that walk. He'd often park at the intersection of Main Street and Highway 59, just to watch the traffic, almost right across from the fally-down house and I'd stop on my way home sometimes to say hello. He didn't feel like it was safe for me to walk back there. He grew up here and I probably should have paid attention to him but no harm ever came to me. There are places I have walked that felt hinky to me but that isn't one of them. I always thought maybe I'd see a bear but I never did. Supposedly bears do roam in that area. But I think it may have been the two legged animals that Abraham worried about. That area is right off the interstate exit and who knows who comes and goes there? The old parking lot attached to the deserted gas station has been gated. I think someone bought it. So I don't walk through there anymore but I can get to the same route by going down Old Lloyd Road and then up Subdivision Road and I've done that many times. Ms. Shelly lives on that road which is how I met her. She spends a great deal of time raking her yard which is as tidy and tended as a beloved child, readied for school. She has spent her life working hard from the time she was a child and I have loved talking to her when I saw her out in her yard. We became friendly and she even walked with me once. She's about my age and has lived in Lloyd her entire life. 
But then because I needed a change, I decided to start walking on White House Road which was another beautiful walk although I had to drive a few miles to get there. 

But today I wanted to go visit that area and see what had changed because I knew that a lot had. The last time I walked it, there'd been a pond dug and woods cleared. Also, the woman that I met that time in front of No Man Lord's whom I immediately liked so much told me that she lived on that road and I sort of wanted to see if I could guess which house was hers. Unlike Shelly, this woman is young. Twenty-something. She's strong and beautiful and determined and I see something in her that I wish I had in me. An independence of soul, perhaps. I don't know. 

So I passed Shelly's house and then, on a piece of concrete next to a culvert I saw two animal watering tanks, both painted and planted with mustard greens. I felt like the next house up must be where she lived. And lo and behold, right after I'd passed that house, she pulled up in her car. She'd seen me walking. 
"Hey, Miss Mary," she said. I was so happy to see her. I saw her at the post office a few months ago and we'd had another good chat. I swear, sometimes I think I was put on earth to have deep and intense conversations with strangers that get straight to the heart of things, including my own heart. And that's how I'd felt about this woman. 
She charmed me. She absolutely charmed me. 
Sure enough, that was her house. And sure enough, she'd planted the greens. 

We talked for maybe ten minutes or so about how things have changed on that road. From where I was I could see that what was formerly scrub and woods was now cleared land.


Damn, I wish I'd known they were going to do that. There were the most beautiful wild azaleas growing there and I would have dug up as many as I could have. 
We also talked about chickens and dogs and what the freeze had done to our greens and then on to age and she asked me how old I was. I told her and then I said, "My body feels that age but my spirit sure doesn't. When I look in the mirror, I am so shocked."
She laughed in that low, chuckling way of hers and of course, I teared up because I cry at the drop of a hat. 
When it was time for me to walk on, she said, "Now don't you exercise too hard," and I said, "The chances of that are pretty low," and she laughed again, turned around and went home. 

I walked on back to the wood's path and part of that looked pretty much the same although when I ducked off the trail into the woods to pee where I always have, there was a line of barbed wire up where before there had been nothing. I suppose they'll be clearing that next. 




And then, again, I retraced my steps and walked back to Highway 59 and stopped at the post office and came on home. 

I planted another row of arugula and a row of lettuces. We shall see if anything at all comes of that. I picked greens and turnips to cook for our dinner and I have them simmering. It's drizzling a little bit and I hope my seeds get watered in. 

I hear that Levon had NO tummy pains last night or today and I've told Jessie that it was those four desserts he ate at Chow Time that cured him. 
I'm pretty sure that's not true but it is funny. 
Tomorrow I'll pick him and his brother up and spend some time with them. I'm looking forward to that. 

Here's a picture of what the sky looked like today. 


In the last few pages of "The Morning Star" by Karl Ove Knausgard, I read a passage that knocked me on my ass. I'm going to post it here and I'd like for you to tell me what you think about it if you want to. I have thoughts. Sorry I cut off a few letters. I feel certain you can read it anyway. 


It's not the part about miracles that struck me, but the part about how if our senses cannot perceive a thing, we cannot know it exists, which does not mean that it doesn't. 

Discuss. 

Love...Ms. Moon





 

50 comments:

  1. Your request has hurt my brain. Far too deep for me as we approach the midnight hour in South Yorkshire. I would rather comment on the word "hinky" that I have never come across before. I rather like it and according to UrbanDictionary, it describes “something as yet undefinable that is wrong, out of place; not quite right.” Glad to hear that Levon's tummy pains have retreated.

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    1. "Hinky" is a good word and one I have heard most of my life. Another word I like that you'd probably have to look up in the Urban Dictionary is "janky."

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  2. Wow. I think I'd need to smoke a big one (haven't done it in years and won't start again now) or have a few cocktails before delving into *that* writing! Hurts my brain too! Love hearing of your neighborly chats....and your life in words and pics. Well, sad to see cleared out lots yet again.......I guess they won't be building another FDG, but what? Ugh. Glad Levon is improving! That (having worked in the med. field my whole life) is a *mystery diagnosis* yet to be/ or never to be revealed. But he's better, that is what counts.
    Susan M

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    1. I feel certain that the lots will have houses on them eventually. I'll never get over those wild azaleas though.
      I remember when Jessie used to get FUO's, which I'm sure you know about. I wonder now if they had anything to do with her auto-immune problems.

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  3. And as our ancestors started to perceive things they didn't understand they invented religion.
    Your walks sound wonderful. I would love to live in the country but that really isn't an option here. The majority of us are congregated around the major cities on the edge of the country cos the middle is a vast expanse of nothing.
    I am pleased to hear Levon is better. Desserts cure everything. Or they should.

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    1. Yes. I believe you are right about religion.
      I had never really thought about the situation in Australia with people living clustered relatively together. We're always seeing movies with people living isolated in the "outback." I wonder why.
      Desserts can cure a lot of things.

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  4. FRESCA here. Yes, I love that passage too!
    I love thinking about brain/perception stuff. It blew me away in a Physics for Non-Science majors class to learn, for instance, that we humans can only see about 10% of the light spectrum! And yet the waves are right in front of (or going through) us, and some animals can see different parts of the spectrum…
    It makes me happy to think of this—you too?
    It’s sort of liberating—a reminder not to be so attached to my perception as if it is solid and complete.

    Also, I went for a walk one night with a friend who’d taken LSD, and she gestured to the ground and said,
    “Tiny dinosaurs everywhere.”
    (Friendly ones.)
    Who knew? 😂

    But of course we have invented machines that can perceive what we cannot—including to show us there’s stuff we cannot perceive, like dark matter and black holes.
    Still, as this passage says, there’s
    —um, as … who was it, Dick Cheney? said, there are things “we don’t know we don’t know”! And thereof, we cannot speak.

    I enjoyed seeing your walk—-I can perceive through you things I cannot see.

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    1. PS Fresca again. I should add, I was a huge fan of Star Trek (reruns in the mid-1970s)—I am not in general a sci-fi fan, but I love the show showing how very limited we are in our tiny fraction of the infinite universe…
      I hope you will write your ideas that the passage sparked!

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    2. I agree, Fresca. That quote covers a lot of ground, doesn't it? And it is a very good thing to remember whether we are talking about light and colors or perhaps different universes. Interestingly, I feel certain that the psychedelic drugs do allow us, for a short period of time at least, to perceive things we are not normally aware of. And not just tiny dinosaurs. Never saw those. Mostly for me, how the entire universe is connected, how "all is one" is not just a hippie thing to say but an absolute truth. I have heard many, many people report the same exact epiphany gotten while tripping.
      And no, we DO not know what we do not know. Exactly.

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  5. Fresca, have you had a cocktail or two tonight? LOL! Your brain is functioning well on overtime! Hugs to you......Susan M

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    1. FRESCA here: 😂 lol, no this is just me on an ordinary day. (But perception is something of an interest of mine, so I’ve come prepared 😄).

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    2. Yes. I was going to say that I think Fresca's brain just works that way which is why she's so interesting.

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  6. I love hearing about your walks and the friends yiu make on them. Even when you find land cleared off lovely wild shrubs.

    That writing is, um, a bit pretentious to my way of thinking, trying hard to seem deep, a modern Golden Bough. But that's my cynical soul!.

    The idea that there are perceptions we can't penetrate and they still exist is ancient. The early Christian mystics went on about this, like Julian of Norwich. Nothing new under the sun!

    Interesting to discuss though.

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    1. I agree- this is nothing new. But for some reason, it just hit me hard the other night. Perhaps because of the lens I was reading it through at that moment. Or perhaps because of the comparison to the animals' perception of our surroundings. Such an excellent illustration! You are definitely right about the writing.

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  7. reality is an imaginary construct since it's not the same for everyone. xxalainaxx

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  8. Oh, I am certain that people perceive that things don't exist simply because they cannot conceive that they do, whether it be their senses that limit them, or their closed shut minds that limit them, or their emotions will not allow them to conceive of such a thing. People do have their own perceptions of what is real and what is not. There are people, for instance who do not believe that racism is real. You may see it. I may see it. They can't. And they will tell you, with no doubt in their minds that racism is not real. Shoot. There are people who still believe tRUMP is a great man.

    It's been a long time since I heard the word 'hinky'! It delighted me for whatever reason.

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    1. Yes. I am finding it interesting how so many of the readers here are viewing this very same quote in so many different perspectives of their own. I just love that! And you know- I suppose there are people who simply cannot see racism but it is so hard for me to believe that. Still, I think that some of our sense-abilities are genetically influenced. I really do.

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  9. Loved going on a walk with you to places yet unseen. I just watched a "talk" by Vivienne Westwood , speaking about the Tao and poetrysays very little but encompasses everything unseen, everything untold- because we are a part of it, we understand, not through language but with knowing recognition. The FEELS. Like listening to Steven Hawking, just let the words wash over , do not try to understand ...understanding is already a given.
    Dennis perceives black and white and just the facts, Mam... That is his world , limiting, but that is the best way to function, for him- it works , he stays out of trouble. I, on the other hand, probably dropped too much acid to hold the reins. As this comment indicates....We balance one another but I do believe that because his perceptions are predictable and measured , joie de vivre keeps bonking him on the head but he will not remove his helmet. Perhaps it is a comfort. Perceptions are,I suppose,just that, comfort zone...

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    1. You know, I think that the things we learned while tripping are as true and real as anything and instead of disqualifying us from holding the reins, it should make us better at it.
      It definitely is harder for some people to to see more than one side of an issue or even a person. Which is mind-boggling for others of us. I have no idea if one way is better than another but the black-and-white seer may indeed be more comfortable.

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  10. That sort of reading confuses the heck out of me, which is why I stick to easy-to-read fiction. Your photos today are very lovely and I'm glad you met up with that woman again. Too bad about the azaleas though.

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    1. Very little of the book was like that. Mostly it was a report of three days through the lives of nine people.
      Maybe we will get some azaleas. I hope so.

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  11. Jakob von Uexkull was way ahead of his time. A few years ago I was privileged to attend a saw-whet owl banding evening, wherein a researcher shone a black light on the inner wings of an owl after it was banded, just before it was released. They were fluorescent pink! It literally blew my mind. Ed Yong explains in his wonderful "An Immense Journey" that most animals can perceive ultraviolet light. Only a few, like us humans, cannot. I am completely captivated by the idea that the world is ever so much more interesting than we can begin to imagine. One can take that biological reality and apply it to so many other areas of life.

    Coincidentally, our book club discussed "An Immense Journey" tonight, and we were not there because we were just exposed to Covid. This is one discussion I was really sorry to miss! (Maybe a good thing, or this comment might have turned into a novel).

    Lastly - what an interesting walk you took us on. Thank you!

    Chris from Boise

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    1. Your comment startled me, Chris! One of my favorite books is The Immense Journey, a series of essays, by Loren Eisley. Your discussion led me off to Ed Yong. Thanks for this. I need to order this book!

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    2. FRESCA here: omg! I googled to see a picture of those pink wings—you ain’t kidding when you say flourescent.
      Thanks!
      Anyone interested can see here: https://wildbirdresearch.org/adopted. (Scroll down a bit)

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    3. And oops - I meant "An Immense World" by Ed Yong - Debby, I must have been channeling Loren Eisley as I wrote.

      Chris from Boise

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    4. Oh, I figured it out! Thanks though.

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    5. Those pink wings...what an excellent example of what the passage was referring to.

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    6. Chris, thanks so much for that information about the owl wings. (And the pictures, Fresca!) I did not know that!

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    7. Yes to all of this! And it's not JUST that owl's wings can be fluorescent pink, but perhaps that there are creatures around us that we cannot see or feel, due to our lack of abilities to perceive them. This sounds crazy but why not?

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  12. Good to hear that Levon is painfree.
    Re the comment in previous post, I have also stood outside your house with Google street view. I find it fascinating that I can do that!!

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    1. It is SO fascinating that we can go just about anywhere in the world in seconds. At least in the virtual sense.
      I am so happy about Levon's tummy. He was really hurting.

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  13. It's a shame about the cleared land. I wonder what's going to happen there? And where all the critters that once lived on it (gopher tortoises, no doubt) will now go.

    It's cool that you met up with your "pal" again. I love her "Love" tub for her greens!

    The Knausgaard passage makes me think of Olga (of course). She does not perceive moving cars. It's like they're not even there. If she weren't on a leash she would gladly walk right in front of one, a tendency which terrifies me and yet I think it's common among dogs. It's like they just haven't evolved to perceive an object moving that fast and certainly not to detect any risk from it. (Then again, some dogs chase them, so who knows!)

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    1. I believe the lots will hold houses on them eventually. But yes- think of all the critters that were dehomed. SO many.
      I was glad to see Boss Lady, as I call her.
      I wonder if Olga can perceive the cars but just does not recognize the threat they hold while dogs who like to chase cars look at them with interest.

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  14. I like the passages, both the miracle one and the one about perception. I had bees for years, and I always marvelled that the paints I saw as white, were different colours to the bees. So that I could paint the hives in - for me - all white, but the bees with their different perception saw them as different colours, and never went into the wrong hive (where they would be killed). This proved at least to me, that things, I cannot see, still exist.

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    1. Color is a fantastic example of the truth of that quote. And so are bees who live in supposedly our same world but who have senses that we obviously do not which allows them to operate on completely different levels. So amazing.

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  15. Getting back to that bird that batters your window Mary, pretty sure it’s a cat bird, they’re very aggressive when defending their territory. They migrate here ( Southern Ontario) from there in the spring. And yes, their call sounds like a bird.

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    1. I think you may be right. Steve Reed also tentatively ID'ed the bird as a catbird.

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  16. There have been many things that we, as in human beings, could not perceive and therefore, in our arrogance, proclaim that such does not exist until we developed the tools that allowed us to see them. I'm sure there are still many parts of the universe and 'reality' that we cannot 'see' even though we are clever little monkeys with our big brains but limited senses and think we know everything.

    what a shame they cleared that land. The world needs wild spaces. I wonder why and for what reason the land was cleared. No good ones I'm sure. By the way, I don't know if I've mentioned this before or not but I live right off 59 too. A (more or less) straight line from my house to yours.

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    1. Yes- just because no one had ever seen a bacteria, it did not mean that they were not all around us and on us and in us. And affected us in so many ways. I am sure that more discoveries will be made all the time that will seem impossible but turn out to be completely real.
      I think they will build houses on that property.
      Really? We live on the same road, basically? This makes a weird sort of sense to me.

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  17. I think all we have to do....not just we, but animals and birds and all naturally occurring things with a beating heart is to look at what was not perceived a thousand years ago or four thousand or 800 or even 200 and we will know that things exist beyond our perception .... always. Even if eventually, humankind realizes everything, perception is still not done as some of those same things will change drastically or minutely and therefore not be properly perceived in 800 or four thousand years hence because they will have changed so much in order to survive that they will be completely different! (My chain of thought comment here hardly makes any sense to me in the re-reading of if but I hope you know what I mean.)

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    1. I think I grasp your meaning. The perception of reality is always shifting.

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  18. When you think of the fact that animals see colors differently than we do and hear and smell so much more than us it doesn't take much to realize that all us different creatures live in different worlds. When we do connect it's really kind of amazing.

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  19. No blog post to read this morning.....hope you are OK?

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    1. Yes! Me too - hope all is well, Mary 🙏🏻 Daily reader here - seldom comment, but I am also concerned 😊

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  20. Deep thoughts at the end there. I'm of the opinion that we are aware of only a fraction of what exists. And it's narrow-minded to think our awareness would be what defines the existence of something. Like that stupid question you hear about if a tree falls in the woods but nobody hears it does it's still make a sound - of course it does; that question always irritated me 😁

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    1. I agree with you, Jill. And how narcissistic it is of us to even ask the question about the tree falling in the forest.

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  21. I've had thoughts along those lines before....about how many things must exist in this universe that are beyond our ken. For instance, look at fish living in aquariums. As far as they know, the whole world is within that glass box and the little bit they can see on the outside of it. People must seem like strange gods that magically appear and give them food. To them, their whole world is contained in the happenings within a few square feet. They know nothing of outer space or the complexity of other living beings and what a forest is, for instance. Those things don't exist for them but that doesn't mean they don't exist. I imagine humans are, in some ways, just like fish living in an aquarium.

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    1. Such a good example, Jennifer! The fish definitely live in their own reality. Whenever I've gone snorkeling, I have been blown away by the reality of the fact that between that very thin demarcation of what defines life above water and below water, there is such a vast difference. An entire world that we would never see if we did not get into the water and look at it from the perspective of being under it. Such a simple thing but you could spend your entire life looking AT the sea or even a pond, and never have any idea of the world it holds below its surface.

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  22. What a lovely exchange you had with your neighbor, such serendipity running into each other again when she was on your heart, and doesn't it so often happen like that. That quote about anything outside our perception simply not existing for us sort of explains the whole quicksand of alternative truths we are struggling with here in America, it strikes me that we can talk till we are blue in the face, we will never convince another person of a reality they simply CANNOT perceive. It's a little depressing to think of it that way, but that's where my mind went. I think I love you so much, Mary, because your ability to perceive ever expanding realities, the elasticity of your consciousness, your understanding that we are all connected in the end, makes you a truly elevated soul. I know you think you live a simple life there in Lloyd. But honestly, you are a Bodhisattva.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.