Sunday, January 15, 2023

Be Sweet If You Can, Be Fierce If You Can't


What do you see in that picture? There's a camellia way over to the right and two Spireas which I can only identify because I planted them. Soon they will be putting out their tiny bridal bouquets and little green leaves but for the moment they are still only very thin brown stems. There is also some border grass growing where it should not and some other assorted weed-like plants, a fence, and a gate. 
Do you know what you DON'T see there? 
CANARY ISLAND DATE PALMS! 
Between my evil wishes and the freeze and quite possibly some sort of disease or parasite, they are dead and gone. Mr. Moon got out there today and hacked at the roots and then chained them to his truck and pulled the fuckers out. 

GONE! 

Never again will I be pierced by one of their needles and never again will I curse myself for planting them. Haha! Now of course I need to try and figure out what to plant in their place. I'd love to plant more cabbage palms because to me, they are Florida. But I suppose a few more camellias wouldn't hurt. Or cedar trees, which I love. 
Oh dear. I suppose I shall have to go to the nursery and wander around to do research. That area does not get a whole lot of sun due to all of the oak trees in our yards here. Really, camellias are probably best suited as they do not mind being underlyers. In fact, they prefer that. 
I have discovered what the name of the camellia was that my former next-door neighbor cut down when he moved in. I loved that camellia. Anyway, it was a Purple Rose Dawn. Here's a picture of what they look like. 


I mean- how exquisite is that? 

Neither camellias or palms are fast growers, or as I always say, "Not an instant solution to your landscaping needs." I remember a former neighbor who would buy small plants and trees for her yard with the words, "I'm young. I can wait." I laughed because I was too.
Well, I ain't young anymore. 
The other night Mr. Moon and I were discussing this and he truly does not like the idea of planting cabbage palms because before they grow tall enough, the fronds can block pathways. As they very much have in the case of the two I've planted in front of the porch. I keep telling him that someday, they will be tall and stately and that will not be a problem as the fronds will be high up in the sky.
"Not in our lifetime," he said. 
"That's not the point," I replied. 
He laughed. 
But of course it is true. I mean, it's a cliche by now but we don't plant trees for ourselves. We plant them for the people who will come after us. 

I was so lazy today. I did not do one bit of yard work or house work either. I did go outside to admire what Mr. Moon had accomplished with the Canary Island date palms and also, clearing the saplings from underneath the fig tree. I took a picture looking up through the fig's bare branches to the oak trees and the bluest sky imaginable above. 


"I hope you feel better, Fig Tree," I told it. 
I think it does. 

And so it has been a Sunday and not a bad one at all. It's been a tiny bit warmer which is nice. I am nowhere near ready for hot weather but like many plants, I am not cold-tolerant. 

I did some more mending on Mr. Moon's jeans. He absolutely told me that he wanted me to patch a heart on the rip he made. My old man is not what you'd call a hippie so I was surprised but delighted. We do still surprise each other sometimes. 
We were talking today about how lucky we are to still love each other the way we do and I said, "I don't think it's that common."
"I don't either," he said. 
"We're nice to each other," I said, "And maybe that's the secret."
He laughed and said that may be true. "We're sweet," I told him. 
And generally, we are. It's really sort of amazing when I think about it but we truly do cherish each other and try to demonstrate that in our actions. But as when asked about child rearing, if I had to give my opinion on how to have a long-time happy marriage, I would have to admit that I only know how to have a happy marriage with the man I'm married to, just as I only know how to raise the four children I raised and even there, I do not pretend to know how to raise them best. I did what I could and loved them, loved them, loved them. However, mistakes were made. 
Many mistakes.
At least with marriage, you get a long period of time, if you're lucky, to figure things out, to learn what works and what definitely doesn't, to let time sand away the sharp bits and encourage the growth of the good ones. With kids- well, basically after they move out of the house, they are exactly who they are and although we all change and grow as we age, there's little that a mama can do to alter that process. 

And here we are again as I start talking about yanking palm trees out of the dirt and end up being all philosophical and shit about marriage and child rearing. 

Mr. Moon is going out to shut the door to the hen house for Moana. Last night I did it and here's a picture I took of her feathers. 


Talk about exquisite! And they are even softer than you would think. Moana is a sweet talker and we are enjoying having her here with her sweet hen ways. 

Maybe sweetness is the secret to it all. 
Who knows? 
Not me. 

Love...Ms. Moon




34 comments:

  1. Lovely thoughts on marriage, if you're lucky in your partner. And if he's a person who yanks out unwanted roots and seriously discusses what to put in their place. Man, that's a nice marriage.

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    1. I agree! Although when it comes to discussing what to put in the place of the palms, we do not agree. He sort of lets me make the yard decisions though.

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    2. I agree Boud and sadly I actually don't think a happy marriage is all that common either. Mine certainly wasn't, but I've also had many married women tell me how much they envy my single status. Sad isn't it!

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  2. That camellia is GORGEOUS!!! You should plant more camellias in different colors!

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  3. I bet we all agree, Mr. M is one of a kind. A keeper.

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    1. I'm sort of thinking the marriage might last.

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  4. I think the secret is love. Despite everything you've been through, you still love. Nobody could take that away from you, and your family is the better for it.

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    1. We definitely have love. No doubt about that.

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  6. you hit the nail on the head with marriage.....long term love, and the secret to it all.....sweetness and (imo trust) and acceptance as it evolves. Tis a thing to always be cherished.
    Susan M

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    1. Trust and acceptance are huge. For some of us, trust is almost impossible but if we are lucky, we learn to believe in it.

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  7. I'm not so good with marriage, and perhaps that's because I'm just not sweet in nature. Or maybe I've lost my sweetness. In any case, I recognize sweet and you and Mr. Moon are both.

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    1. Well, when I say "sweet" I suppose what I mean is mostly being nice to each other. Which sounds ridiculously oversimplified. And yet, to me, it is huge.
      And you know what? You are too sweet.

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  8. 33 years in and still trying to figure it out. I appreciate the example you and Mr. Moon set, just by being who you are, together.

    Chris from Boise

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    1. I don't think we're ever done figuring it out.

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  9. Sweetness, tolerance and forgiveness are big things in any marriage.
    The purple rose dawn camellia is just perfect! I think you should buy two of those and put them in place of the date palms. Maybe you can get some that are already a couple of years old so they will flower?

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    1. TOLERANCE! So damn important. So is forgiveness. For sure.
      You're right- whatever I get to plant there needs to have a little growth to it at least.

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  10. I love the Camellia photos when you post them . They don't grow in our area as the natural soil isn't the right stuff for them!

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  11. Maybe you are right...if only more people felt like you do...

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    1. Honestly, I think that people forget to be as nice to the people they live with as they are to friends and acquaintances.

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  12. We could all benefit from more sweetness in our lives, I'm sure! You must be so relieved to have those palms gone, and to have some new space in the yard to work with. You MUST plant one of those camellias, if you can get one. That flower is astonishing.

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    1. I am relieved to have those palms gone. They were looking really horrible. I'm going to go to a nursery tomorrow and if they have one of those camellias I'm buying it. You can now see why I never forgave that neighbor for cutting that camellia down.

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  13. Fresca here.
    Do you think your marriage is happy because of something you and Mr Moon DO, or (and) because you're lucky enough to really LIKE each other?
    (I've been in relationships where we were considerate and kind to each other, but it just wasn't a great match, no matter what we did.)

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    1. I think it's AND. We do a lot of nice things for each other and we try to please each other but yes, we do really like each other too. And it's odd because we are so very, very different.

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  14. Definitely get that camellia, purple rose dowan, gorgeous. In fact maybe I'll get one too. I want another camellia. Mine one camellia lost nearly all its foliage during this latest arctic blast. Maybe a good thing as I have not been able to get rid of the white fly.

    Marc and I are going to have our 47th anniversary this year. I don't feel 'in love' anymore, just comfortable. He's been here for nearly 2/3rds of my life. I don't really miss that feeling, too much angst. Comfortable and content is better.

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    1. Forty-seven years is a big accomplishment. Glen and I have only been married 38. I do still feel in love. That's weird, I guess, but I do. I think he does too. But yes, we are definitely comfortable and content and that is such a fine thing.
      I'm looking for a purple rose dawn camellia tomorrow.

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  15. I was going to say you and Mr. Moon are so lucky to have each other but it isn't really luck at all. Whatever it is, I am glad you two have it!

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    1. Well, we are actually incredibly lucky in a whole lot of ways.

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  16. You both rest easy in each other's gaze, which is a beautiful and precious thing. Do bougainvilleas grow in your part of Florida?

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  17. We do. And our hearts rest easy too.
    We can grow bougainvillea here but it freezes in winter. I wish we could. It is so beautiful. Although thorny as hell!

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.