Sunday, December 1, 2019

A Movie


In November of 1998 my copy of Esquire slid through the mail slot in the green front door of the house we lived in at the time in Tallahassee on Short Street. I'd been getting Esquire for a long time simply because the writing in it was so far superior to the writing in the "women's" magazines. However, I was not expecting to see Mr. Rogers, of all people, on the cover.
That just wasn't Esquire's style. No pun intended.
But I read the article by Tom Junod and it was the most powerful thing I'd ever read in Esquire and one of the most powerful things I'd ever read anywhere. It made me weep. Junod had captured the very essence and soul of a man I'd seen on TV hundreds of times while my children watched his show and although I had always thought his persona was sweet and I had defended him when friends (always male) ridiculed the man for his slow and gentle ways, I had never known the extent of his...goodness.
"He likes me just the way I am," I would tell the men who made fun of him, only half joking. Some of those days were hard, very hard. I was finding myself being forced into making decisions about my future and that of my children which would have consequences for the rest of our lives. And I did not feel confident in any way that I was strong enough or brave enough to make the hard choices I knew I had to make and by god, if the only positive feedback I got in those days was from a man who changed into a sweater and sneakers every day on his show, well then- that was at least something.
I mean, there was a part of my child-heart that felt as if he did like me, just the way I was, even though I knew that was ridiculous.
I loved that article. I fell in love with Mr. Rogers through that article. Somehow Junod captured the true grace he lived his life in, his genuine love for children and for the children all of us have been. I read and reread the article. I did not throw the magazine away. I kept it and took it with me to the house we moved into a year or so later. By the time we moved to Lloyd, I finally let that issue go because I knew I could find the article anytime I wanted online.
And here is the link to it. 

So I suppose you know where this is headed. When I heard that a movie was being made, based on the Junod Esquire article, I knew I wanted to see it. But me and movies? Well, that doesn't happen very often. When Mr. Moon and I went to see Zombieland 2, Double Tap a month or so ago, it was the first time we'd gone to a movie together in probably a decade. But a few weeks ago my husband must have seen a trailer for A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood because he asked me if I'd go with him to see it. I'm not sure why because I doubt I'd ever heard him say one word about Fred Rogers but somehow, he was interested and today we decided to go see it. It was rainy and windy and going to the movies sounded fun and so we did.
I bought our tickets online, reserved seats and all. We drove to the theater and went in and bought our popcorn and found our seats. We sat through all of the previews. The only one that interested me was for the newest version of Little Women which made me cry because that book was just about the foundation of anything true and healthy in my life growing up and all of my kids have loved it too.

And then the movie came on and we kicked back in the super-recliner comfy chairs and ate our popcorn and watched as Tom Hanks attempted to become the man Tom Junod had written about twenty-one years ago and as much I love Tom (I mean, who doesn't?) the magic never worked for me. And DAMMIT! I wanted it to. I wanted to sniffle and cry and be touched and transported to a higher, better place but it just didn't happen.
I mean, it was fine. And honestly, I felt like a monster of sorts because everyone says that it's a two-hankie film and I didn't even tear up once.
Here's what I think the problem was for me- Mr. Roger's persona was, according to Junod, no more or less than Fred Rogers himself. And believe it or not, he was as genuine and caring and gentle and sweet as the man who sang the corny songs about feelings and voiced the puppets he used to try to alleviate the fears and worries of children. To help them to learn to talk about feelings, rather than to just act them out. And when Hanks, or anyone, tries to emulate that by acting, it's as if the act crosses out, nullifies, the real man.
Sadly, it just didn't work for me.

I asked Mr. Moon what he'd thought about it. The first thing he said was, "The chairs weren't long enough for my legs."
And then he said that he felt pretty much the same way I did. That it was a bit of a disappointment.

When we got home, I opened up my laptop and reread the original article by Junod and just now I've reread an article in The Atlantic entitled My Friend Mister Rogers. Junod does like the movie and I'm glad of that. And I didn't dislike it. It's just that it does not seem to me to translate his article successfully. That may not even be possible. Even with Tom Hanks as the star.

So. That's what I did today. Mostly. Went to the movies with my sweetheart.
As he said, "Well, at least it was a fun date."
And it was.
I'm glad I came home and reread Junod's words because they gave me what I was seeking- some sort of hope for humanity, I suppose. Because if there are people like Mister Rogers who live or have lived on this planet, all cannot possibly be lost.
I'd like to add that Fred Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister and that his belief in his god informed everything he did or said. As we all know, I am generally disdainful of all things religious but there are a few people whom I have respected and even loved who seem to me to actually live the lessons that Jesus was said to have given us.
Jimmy Carter is one. Mister Rogers is another.
But in my heart I believe that even without religion, these people would have been as purely good if they'd never even heard of the Bible.

That's just me, though.

Love...Ms. Moon


19 comments:

  1. Have you ever read Tom Junod's book about his friendship with Fred Rogers? You also might enjoy the biography of Rogers by Maxwell King.

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    1. I have not. Have you read both of these?

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    2. Yes...I was exposed to Mr. Rogers because I sat for young children who watched him and I watched carefully his effect on them and grew to respect him. Much better than what I grew up watching. Mr. Rogers was a one of a kind...

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    3. Yes. I think that the more I watched Mister Rogers, the more I understood what he was doing and that led to so much respect.
      He was the very definition of a gentleman.

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  2. Mr. Rogers belonged to my children.So I blessed him in my heart for all the good I read of him doing children, I didn't see his show. That had something to do with being a working mom, too.
    Those lounger movie chairs, though. How about those additions to movie houses!

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    1. When Hank and May were little the only weekday children's programming was Sesame St. and Mr. Rogers. Maybe Reading Rainbow. And I let them watch both of the programs and so as I'd drift through the living room doing chores, I'd see him.
      Movie theaters are completely different. I noted yesterday that this theater has Cuban sandwiches on the menu. WHAT??!! Plus there's a full bar and a cafe. Or restaurant. I don't know. We just got popcorn.

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  3. Mr. Rogers was especially important to my youngest who was anxious. He offered such a nice calm space. I will admit that it took me a while to understand why she loved him so but I eventually got it.

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    1. And that's exactly why some children needed him so much. That calm, calm, peaceful space for them to be.

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  4. Being good is about believing in people - not about believing in God. We don't need excuses for being good. I am sorry that the film did not hit the spot for you but I can understand why. I chuckled about Mr Moon's reaction. I guess when you have the long body of a former basketball star you will often find it difficult to live in The World of The Little People. Rather like Gulliver.

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    1. You're right. Religion doesn't seem to have a damn thing to do with how good people are or are not. I think that some genuinely good people are drawn to it though. Not nearly as many as there should be.
      Yep. Mr. Moon does have difficulty in The World of the Little People. For instance- there are cars he simply cannot drive because his legs don't fit. And when he flies, if he doesn't get an exit row seat he is truly in agony. In a way it's like a disability but also, a very positive thing at the same time. He loves being tall.

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  5. I haven't read that article but I will certainly do so now. I remember how people used to mock Mr. Rogers back in the '80s. (I think there was a Saturday Night Live skit, wasn't there? Or a series of them?) I admire anyone who can remain free of the snark and sarcasm of the modern age -- to which I am certainly prone, even though I know it often kills honest communication. Well, let's be honest, it's a defense. I guess Mr. Rogers just didn't feel a need to defend himself. Again, admirable.

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    1. Oh yes. Doing a parody of Mister Rogers was about the easiest thing in the world. And maybe that's part of the reason I didn't like the movie that much. The thin line between tribute and parody is too thin in some cases. I love your observation that maybe he didn't feel a need to defend himself. I think that's absolutely true and absolutely rare.

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  6. I agree with you, good people are good and religion has nothing to do with it. I've never been a big fan of Mr. Rogers. I was exposed to his show as was anyone with kids during that time but he never drew me in. I doubt I will ever see the movie. but I did hear an interview on NPR about Tom Hanks and his acceptance of the role. he was really very nervous about it. there was something about an award Fred Rogers was receiving and his acceptance speech of it that struck Hanks (can't remember exactly) and that it helped inform Hanks portrayal of Rogers.

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  7. Well, I think Hanks did his best and I think he truly wanted to get it right but his performance just didn't ring the bell for me. Something...was missing. Perhaps it was just the ineffable spirit of Mister Rogers.

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  8. We didn't get Mr. Rogers here in this part of Canada, but of course I've heard of him.

    As for goodness, my dad was one of those people who was innately good. He always thought the best of people, and though I'm sure he was disappointed (more than once), he always kept that philosophy. His religion was nature, he had no need or want for formal religion.

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    1. Your father sounds like someone I wish I had known. I am certain he was beloved.
      I suppose nature is my religion too.

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  9. I never cared for Mr. Rogers very much. He was too vulnerable for me, too kind. I was teased and bullied as a child and a part of me knew that bullies targeted those who were vulnerable. When I saw him it reminded me of being bullied. It's only as an adult do I understand how strong he was, strong enough to be vulnerable for children.

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    1. Yes! Exactly! He talked about being bullied as a child. He was chubby, I guess. I bet he never forgot that and it probably informed a lot of who he became and what he wanted to give to children.

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  10. I've never read that article on Fred Rogers. Thank you for linking it.

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