On the bad days I can feel it in my eyes.
How odd is that?
Black dog sniffing at the door, whining and pawing at it, growling under his breath.
He knows how to get in. That bastard. That bloodymouthed bastard.
When I took my walk this morning, I saw the sweetest, prettiest fox. They are almost magical creatures, a cross between a dog and a cat. As soon as I saw him, he melted away into the woods and I had nothing but the picture my eyes had taken of him to reassure me that I'd actually seen him.
My odd-feeling eyes. They still work.
The fox is magic. I believe he signals a sea change for you. Check yr mail! love,
ReplyDeleteRebecca
Knowing that bastard of a black dog is outside your door and not being able to do anything about it has to be one of the worst things about depression. I think that is why I have given up trying so hard. And strangely, though I don't feel any better or worse I am OK with where I am. The other day I was thinking about how cold is not a real thing. It is just the absence of heat. I got to thinking that maybe happiness is not real but just an absence of sadness, grief and depression. I am not sure that makes any sense to you but I find it comforting to think that maybe this dark place is normal and we get reprieves that make it bearable.
ReplyDeletetoss a couple of firecrackers at the bastard.
ReplyDeleteRebecca- Oh. I hope so. Nothing in the mail yet but I sent you something today.
ReplyDeleteBirdie- That is good advice. I need to keep rereading it. Thank you.
Ellen Abbott- If I thought it would work, I would.
I think it's a sign. You know me and the signs. For all good things. Relief. Your eyes bathed in some sweet water.
ReplyDeleteThe brain is still such a mystery. And not in a good way, a lot of the time.
ReplyDeleteI hope things turn around for you soon.
I'm with the others. I think that fox is a good omen.
ReplyDeleteI feel it in where I imagine my kidneys are.
ReplyDelete