I am feeling all of the feelings tonight. Quite simply all of them.
I got to see and hold our little guy Gus today because Jessie went with me to go get Owen and then to our trip to the thrift store and my arms love that baby as much as my heart does.
Touch. Oh, how we crave good touch.
While it was just me and Gibson for a little while this afternoon, he was doing something that involved patting my head and my face as I laid on the couch. I think it had something to do with a robot but I have to tell you that the feel of his little hands, firmly but gently on my head felt like he was a faith-healer, rearranging the molecules of me, soothing me and calming me.
And when I came in after leaving my girls and my baby boys this evening, Maurice greeted me and jumped up on the kitchen island and I wrapped my arms around her and held her and I could feel her purr against my chest. Of course, that didn't last for long and she soon uttered a meow and I let her go immediately. But for those few seconds, it was sweetness.
We all need it. We need that touch.
We had a good time at the thrift store. The boys know the routine by now and in the furniture and electronics section they immediately go to the automatic shoe shiner (remember those?) and stick their crock-and-sneakered feet beneath the red and black plush rollers and turn it on. The guy who comes in when you enter the door and an electronic bell goes off said to them, "That's not a toy, boys!" which I found extremely funny because the damn thing has been there for a month at least and who in this world is going to buy an electronic shoe shiner?
We got Lily's baby girl some red velvet Chinese slippers with red ribbon ties and the boys picked out their toys and Jessie bought two brand-new fancypants Dr. Brown's baby bottles which were glass and she decided to get them just in case she ever decides to pump and give August a bottle, and we made our purchases and I wanted a metal plant stand but it cost a ridiculous amount for that particular thrift store so I left it there but I might go back and get it later. Who knows?
They had a Kitchen Aid food processor which didn't appear to ever have been used and I almost bought it because my beloved Cuisinart food processor which I've had for over twenty-five years is not going to last forever.
Or maybe it will.
Speaking of which, I still haven't found my Coobie bra so I ordered three off the internet, black, white, and beige and they arrived today and I feel as if I have made what might possibly be the last bra purchases of my life. If I am lucky. Jessie said today that eventually I'm just going to give up wearing a bra entirely. "I'm 90% there already," I told her.
And I am.
So here I am, feeling sweetness and bitterness, melancholy and yes, almost unholy anticipation about getting in my bed tonight with Cormoran Strike. I am at the part of the book where the danger is escalating, the simmering threats are about to break into a boil and the love story has taken yet another angle away from eventually certain sexy fulfillment. I am going to make a hash of leftover potatoes and carrots, chicken and onions with tomatoes and also kale and mustard from the garden. An egg may be involved.
This has been my day and tomorrow I have to go to town and TAKE CARE OF THINGS including the fact that my iPhone is eating data at a rate not even possible. I could be streaming porn 24 hours a day and it wouldn't be taking up this much data. Anyone got any ideas about that? I'm ready to pitch the damn thing into Lloyd creek where the twelve-foot alligator allegedly lives but of course I won't. It's supposed to get up to 89 degrees again tomorrow and I'm about to go turn the AC back on. The chickens are up and safe and the planet is amazingly still turning on its axis and the tides can still be predicted and there are reputedly places in this world where you can still see the stars and I'm going to hold on to that thought.