Work In Progress

I got my hands on that boy today. I ran out to the car and grabbed him up and hugged him close and said, "Oh, there's my boy."
It was a fine reunion.
We went almost immediately to feed the chickens some apples I cut up. As soon as he gets here, he points that little finger towards the chicken house and makes his Elvis noise. Elvis comes running up and they communicate, boy-to-rooster. My neighbor, Ms. Liola, whom I talk to when I walk sometimes says that Elvis is trying to protect Owen. That he thinks of him as one of his flock.
This may be true and is a very interesting idea to me.

I am looking forward to fall and cooler weather so that Owen and I can spend more time outside. He is walking so well and I can't wait to see him walk about the yard. Or run. He can literally run in circles now, that little ten-month old man. He walked about the house today and went into rooms that we usually just walk through with him on my hip and he was delighted to be able to study things at his own pace. Everything is new with Owen and his new-eyes make everything new for me, too.
I can say to him now, "Do you want to play pat-a-cake?" and he grabs my hands and starts to clap them together. I can say, "Do you want a bottle?" and he laughs out loud. "Yes!" he is saying. "I DO want a bottle, and how did you know?"
He's such a delight. Such a delight.
We went into the library and he started pulling books out. He found one that he fancied and brought it to me to show it to him. Ten months old!
I gave him a bath (he needs one after traveling the floors and porches of this house) and he was tired and when I took him out and wrapped him in his towel, he laid himself upon me and didn't move. I thought I would die with the pleasure of that baby hug. He is kissing spontaneously now. He'll dart in and lay a big one right on my mouth and then run away.
He hides behind his Pop-Pop's big chair and peek-a-boo's from one side and then the other, chuckling like a little old man when I say, "There he is! There's Owen!"
My god, my god! I love that boy.
He's so strong. He's so sturdy. Look at the thighs on him.


And so it goes. This boy is growing up so fast that I can't catch my breath between one stage and the next. He has such a happy disposition and why shouldn't he? His parents adore him and are the very best parents a baby could have. When Jason was leaving today I said, "Thank-you so much for bringing him here and thank-you so much for being such a wonderful daddy."
And I meant it with all of my heart.
It's so amazing to watch your own baby become such a fine and attentive and gentle and loving and intuitive and nurturing mother. I can't begin to tell you the joy of that.

I got to meet Kathleen's nephew Christopher this afternoon and he is a fine young man too. So polite. He hugged me when he met me which tells me that he's had good raisin', as we say down here. I offered him graham crackers and juice and apologized because I didn't have cookies and fruit punch and he assured me that what I had was fine. He kept saying, "Yes, ma'am," to me and I finally said, "You're very polite, aren't you?"
And he said, "Yes, ma'am."
He stole my heart and I am so glad he's staying with his Aunt Kathleen. He told me that they're having a wonderful time together.
"I'll bet she's really fun, isn't she?"
"Yes, ma'am," he said. And he was being truthful. How special to have a grown-up love you the way Kathleen loves him and his brother. There is no law which says you have to love your nieces and nephews you know, so it's just a pure blessing to have an aunt who adores you and wants to have fun with you. Christopher is ten and so he already has a good sense of humor in place and that's such a great age. I didn't ask him what I like to ask kids his age when I meet them which is usually something along the lines of "So, are you married?" or "Do you have a job?"
It cracks the goods one up. Maybe I'll ask him those questions next time I see him. He'll probably look at me as if I'm crazy and then he'll realize that yes, I am a friend of his Aunt Kathleen's so of course I am. And then he'll most likely smile.
I hope so.
He and Kathleen left with muffins I made last night (for Kathleen) and some Pop Tarts that Hank left here (for Christopher) to go home to eat tacos (it's international night at Kathleen's place) and they were cheerful and happy.

And tomorrow Kathleen and Sweetie Judy and I are going to go see her oncologist for an appointment where we'll get the details of her chemo regime and that will be something. This whole cancer journey and its treatment is such a process. We learn new things every day, we will continue to learn new things. Because Judy has been through the process herself, she is such a great person to have on the team. She's been there, she's done that, she is strong and healthy and fights wildfires and now is the warrior for Kathleen. I think I will be the one who says, "Can I turn your pillow, darling?" and "Would you like a martini?"
No. I will not say that. Not until she's well. And then I'll say it every chance I get.
I am looking forward to the day when the treatment for cancer somehow focuses on the healthy cells being made so robust that they do not allow the rogue cancer cells to grow, instead of the way we do it now. I honestly think that this is the way we shall "cure" cancer eventually. Not with warfare, but with a reinforcement of health. But we aren't there yet and we must accept and follow what the doctor prescribes. It's going to be a hard time for Kathleen and I know that but I know also that she is up for the challenge. Judy and Denise and all of us who love her will do what we can but the bottom line is that the cancer is in her body and the drugs used to fight it will be administered to her. I just keep thinking about the way plants, when cut or frozen back, respond with added and more vigorous growth. I hold that image in my heart and it reassures me.

Ah lah. Life is something, isn't it?
There is so little we can do but take it as it comes, the glorious and the profane, the joyful and the painful. And it helps to share it all. And having these babies, these kids, to love on and hold tightly and kiss and feed tacos to, to laugh with and take care of- well, that makes it all so much better.

I'm going to go water my porch plants and then cook the tiny piece of wild salmon I bought for myself today at the store. I shall cook it with peppers and onions and mushrooms and spinach and edamame beans because that is the way I like it and Mr. Moon is out of town.
It's been a good day, this first day home. I've had some anxiety and I've dealt with it by accepting it as it has come and trying to accept it for what it is and not fight it.
That's all I can do. It's like the heat. It is what it is. And of course it has helped tremendously to have my grandson's arms around me, to catch his kisses as he ran by me, and to meet Christopher, a very polite young man.

Wash the dishes, do the laundry, kiss the babies, meet the young men, hug the friends and family, kiss them all, wish them safe travels and at the end of the day, go to bed with a good book.

Get up. Do it all again.

And so it goes, as Mr. Vonnegut would say, and he was a very wise man.