Friday, September 16, 2022

Midwives, Soybeans, And Other Important Topics


 Here you are- proof that yes indeed, Florida does have seasonal changes. The banana leaves are turning golden. People come from all over the world to see this phenomena! 
Okay. Not really. But the banana leaves ARE turning golden. Or yellow. Or whatever color you call that. I think they are lovely. 

So. Another day in paradise. 
When I got up, my man was already gone to work in the woods. I got the sheets washed and out on the line and decided to go to town. A minor miracle occurred this past week when Mr. Moon actually came up with an idea for a meal he would like that we haven't had in a long time. 
Soybeans! 
Yes, indeedy. 
I cook the dried ones until they are tender and then serve them over rice with a sauce that I sort of stole from a cookbook sold in the seventies and published by The Farm which was the big commune in Tennessee started by Stephen Gaskin and his followers. Some of you may have heard of the place, and some of you probably have not. Ina May Gaskin, Stephen's wife, is one of my true and real heroes as she was one of the main pioneers of modern midwifery and has had a huge influence on my life and the lives of my children, not to mention women and childbirth all over the world. 
Wow. I sure can go from one subject to another in record time, can't I? 
The very appropriate name of the cookbook was (is) the "The Farm Vegetarian Cookbook." The Farm folk believed staunchly in vegetarianism and were vegans too, for the most part. Now one time when I worked at a local free standing birth center, we were gifted with a visit from Ina May and the thing I remember most about her was that she ate a salad with tuna in it and I loved her even more. 
But this sauce for the soybeans is made from mayonnaise, soy sauce (or Tamari), garlic powder, and vinegar. The cookbook calls for vegan mayonnaise but to hell with that- I use Duke's. 
It may sound weird but honestly- my mouth is watering, just thinking about that meal. 
Good LORD, I have made a simple fact into a entire essay but I had no soybeans to cook for Mr. Moon's requested meal and so I went to town to the Coop to get some in their bulk department. Which I did. I also bought some locally milled grits there which are delicious and large-grained and take at least an hour to cook and are worth every minute of cook time. When I make grits to eat for breakfast on a Sunday, I use the regular "old fashioned" grits that are easily available in grocery stores but when I make something like shrimp and grits, I want to use the good ones. 

But before I went to the coop, I bought myself lunch at a place called the Piteria which is, of course, a Greek influenced cafe. I got what I always get which is the vegetarian platter. It is so good! Hummus, falafel, cucumbers, tomatoes, dolmades, tabouli, Kalamata olives, pepperoncinis, and two beautiful, gorgeous warm pitas. I took a New Yorker magazine with me and it was a fine little party for one, right there on Apalachee Parkway in Tallahassee, Florida. 
I brought home over half the food and tomorrow will be able to enjoy it all over again. 

I went to Goodwill, too. I know. I was crazy. And I actually bought two dresses, one of which is definitely a wear-around-the-house sort of thing but it has pockets, and one which caught my eye because of the beautiful fabric. It doesn't have pockets but by golly, I'll put some in or on it. 

And there's more! I went to Publix, the one where Lily works, and I got to see her interact with a customer which is not unusual but somehow, it literally made me cry. She is the kindest, most attentive, hardworking woman and she is my daughter. I am so proud to say that. She is going through some rough times in many ways but she is carrying on, taking care of three children, maintaining a healthy and loving relationship, working full time in a physically demanding job, doing all of the things that women do. I look at her, so tall and so beautiful, and I am simply amazed that she came from me. 
And of course I'm crying again. I am ridiculously emotional. 

I started watching a documentary this morning and although I haven't finished it, I have to say that it is profoundly moving me. It is about a 90-year old midwife who lives in a small, remote village in the Yucatan and the life she and her family and their fellow villagers live there. 


You can watch it HERE if you want. 


I have to tell you that I consider midwifery to be a holy calling. To be a midwife is to live a life of utter sacrifice, eternal vigilance, never-ending learning, courage, and complete dedication. A midwife's days and nights are not her own. And a midwife in a primitive and remote place like the village in this documentary has to be a doctor, a nurse, an herbalist, a therapist, and a mother and grandmother to all. 



At one point in my life I thought I wanted to be a midwife. I was involved for years with birth, first at home births, and then at the birth center where I met Ina May. That interest in midwifery is what took me to nursing school. But I did not have the stamina nor the dedication and I did not have the courage. I just did not. But I am glad that I got to help the women that I did help in childbirth and I am eternally grateful that I was able to have most of my children at home, attended by midwives. To have been at the home births of my grandchildren will always be one of the biggest honors of my life. 

Well. Once again that is not what I came here to talk about. Funny how this always happens. 

Happy Friday, y'all. 

Love...Ms. Moon


35 comments:

  1. It is such a shame that childbirth became medicalised by a patriarchal society. Surely women had been doing something right since time immemorial or we wouldn't be here. Yes, babies sometimes didn't make it but isn't that the way of things? The vast majority of women don't need to deliver in a cold hospital environment and if they are a high risk this is identified during the pregnancy. Of course, before someone disagrees with me, I will state that this a general view and there are always exceptions to every case.
    I am now off to google grits!

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    1. I agree with every single thing you said. And when you factor in the understaffing of nurses these days, having a baby at home with an attentive midwife and assistant can be safer than a hospital birth, not to mention the interventions that are done in hospitals that can and do cause more harm than good.

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  2. Long ago I was friendly with a woman who rented in the same building I lived in, in Manchester, uk. She was a home visiting midwife who told me stories exactly like the accounts now famous from Call the Midwife, but I knew them from Ceri. Including some heartbreaking stories of attempted self abortions. This was before abortion was legalized in Britain. Desperate women.

    Also some happy stories of births of loved and wanted babies.
    One of the chief dangers in British home births in winter was that newborns could and did die of cold in normal bedrooms which could be freezing. It's all coming back to mind with current legal upheavals here and the soaring costs of home heating in the UK.
    See what path you sent me on? I hadn't even remembered that till I read your post.

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    1. Wow! I am sure you did hear some wonderful stories! Call the Midwife is such an excellent show and they have featured stories about women who sought abortions and also about the process of legalizing them in Britain. And here we are...
      It is so horrible to think of newborns dying of the cold. The way things are going, people ARE going to be dying of the cold in their homes again if something doesn't change quickly.

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  3. Is the 90 year old midwife training a replacement? Or perhaps there are two or more midwives in the village. That would be good.

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    1. I haven't gotten to the end yet. I do not think there is a replacement and I don't know what they'll do. Her daughter was asked if she wanted to be a midwife and she said that no, she didn't. Her nerves could not handle it.

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  4. That little girl in the pale yellow T-shirt has the same look of attentive outward-directed enthusiasm that August often has.
    Twins separated at birth?

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    1. I absolutely see what you mean. Excellent observation!

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  5. Well Mary. It seems to let me publish on here. Amazing post. We had Ina May and Spiritual Midwifery here across the Pond in the 70s It's 3am here so won't go on. Be good if this works l miss posting on your blog. Love n gold rings on ya my sweet sister Maggi xxx

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    1. Yes. Ina May and her beautiful book have influenced and changed many, many lives for the better all over the world.
      I am so glad you could post!
      Gold rings on you, sweet sister!

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  6. My midwife literally saved my life. Not in childbirth--she was on vacation, and instead I had a woman who'd worked with a former student of mine, a midwife to the Amish and an amazing poet--but after my boy was born and I no longer could lie about the abuse at home.He called her once asking for me to be put on medication because I was crazy & wouldn't sleep with him, and she called me, scheduled an appointment, told me to bring the baby, and when I got there told me it wasn't a medical appointment but she needed to ask if I was safe, and told me that I wasn't crazy, and that it was okay to leave, that I needed to leave. I had also had all of her children as my students, and she went on to visit my women's studies class every year. It was so hard to move away from her, but I am eternally grateful for her care and worry for me.

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    1. Wow, what a special lady and yes, she did save your life!

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    2. And that is a beautiful story of how a midwife never, ever stops tending to and protecting the lives of women and children. I know a woman who had a similar story in that her midwife ended up probably saving her daughter's life when she was a baby. The father had kidnapped the child in Florida and fled with her to Washington where she'd been born. He ended up with the child at the midwife's house who had delivered her who had been alerted and she was ready and called the police and kept the baby until the mother could get there. That baby was still nursing. She is now grown and a wonderful mother to her own children. I think of that brave, strong midwife- like yours.

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  7. I didn't like obstetrics when I was a student. It seemed like there was so much pain and blood and I couldn't do anything to help. All three of my babies were big and hurt like hell. I wouldn't have been brave enough to have them at home. All that being said, I think midwives do a much better job of delivering babies than docs. Less interference. I've also noticed something lately, the docs seem to start talking about overdue babies at 38 weeks. Umm, it's supposed to be 40 weeks. Mother nature knows what she's doing.

    That 90 year old woman looks like she still enjoys her work.

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    1. I didn't like obstetrics much either but it was because I hated the way that hospital births were handled. But the subject itself was my favorite. And yes, doctors don't know nearly as much about regular and normal birth as midwives do. They are inducing women at 38 weeks here, too. For the life of me, I do not understand this.

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  8. Funny you should mention shrimp today. We call them prawns and I've been thinking about them for three days now. I haven't had any for years but find myself thinking about barbecued prawns, prawn curry and rice. Which is odd, because I don't often like curry.
    That documentary sounds amazing. I'm glad you had a wonderful day in town. I always check for pockets when buying clothes too. They need to be big enough to hold more than a single tissue.

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    1. Exactly! My pockets need to be able to hold a lot of stuff!
      The doc is terrific.
      You should buy some prawns/shrimp! And then eat them any way you want.

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  9. I don’t know if i knew that you actually met Ina May, but I can assume you probably told me when you were sharing your midwifery doula childbirth attending stories with me so many many moons ago. 😉 You we’re an angel to me then and still to this day, I hold you in a deep, most exclusive place in my heart. As you know, your stories always moved me. I knew at that time, you entering my life would have a lasting impact and that I would be writing this exact message to you decades later, which of course, was entirely accurate! I just knew… ☺️❤️. I’ve taught Prenatal & postnatal yoga now for over 18 years, attended several births, developed and taught a comfort measures workshop for couples and birth partners for over 5 years now and as a result, I’ve held space and supported thousands of women and birth partners on their personal journeys in bringing new little humans into the world. The love and care you gave me and my crazy little tribe of college coming of age friends was something I will be forever grateful for and completely in awe of for the rest of my life. Indeed, you have raised beautiful, thoughtful, conscientious children who I also love dearly, but don’t ever forget the thousands of lives (literally) you’ve touched indirectly though the radiant love, humor, generosity and grace you’ve shared with so many over the years of your life. Countless meals, wonderful words both written and spoken, a harbor in the storm. I am who I am today, helping others in the way that I do, in great part because of you! (…and maybe also a little because of who Ina May was to you!) I love you Mary Moon thank you for a lifetime of love, support and inspiration ❤️❤️❤️

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    1. Lisa-Lisa- you have no idea how much those words mean to me. You live in a special place in my heart too, and it is so beautiful to see how you are helping women and their partners to birth their babies in a way that allows for gentle flow and conscious breath with strong bodies. I admire you so much and if I had one thing to do with that, I am happy.
      Despite the almost-tragedy that brought us together, the fact that we were brought together is something I will always be so glad of. You know that. You know how much I love you, Lisa-Lisa, our Redheaded Lisa Whom We Adore.

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    2. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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  10. good mayo can make anything taste good. i call it the 'other butter'. <3 to lily and may this storm pass soon for her <3

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    1. Thanks, darling! You're right about good mayonnaise. And life is too short not to use the best.

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  11. I once began training with two midwives. I showed up with a Dukakis bumper sticker on my car. They were very offended. I wasted a lot of money on books before they decided I was not suitable.

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    1. The political divisions were beginning, even then. In their mind, Democrats were baby killers. I tried to reason, but there was no reasoning to be had.

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  12. I like how your posts meander in a stream-of-consciousness fashion, and yet always seem topical and focused. Writing like that is a skill!

    I'm glad you found time to pop into a Goodwill.

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    1. Thank you, Steve. I appreciate those words, especially from you.

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  13. That picture of the Mexican midwife and children is just stunning! You really have had the most perfect day, haven't you!

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  14. Whether you intend to or not, what you wrote always touches my heart. I’ll never forget the midwife that kept me from having to endure a c section when I wasn’t dilating enough after 26 hours of induced labor (water broke). She stayed at my side encouraging me when I was delirious enough to say I had changed my mind and wasn’t giving birth that day. Another hour was all it took. They are indeed in a holy profession. To this day it’s the midwife I remember, no memory of the dr at all.
    Enjoy your soybeans!
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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    1. Oh, honey! I think all of us who have given birth have reached that point in their labor. "Nope. That's enough for today." And it is usually near the end but it is so important to have someone there that you trust who can assure you of that. I am so glad you had that midwife.

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  15. If only I had had my children a few years later than I did I might have had them at home. I don't know if there even were any midwives in the city when I had my children. It was frowned on by the establishment and I had to convince my obgyn that yes I really did want a natural childbirth with no drugs.

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    1. The midwives I worked with in the seventies were "illegal". No one was licensed. There was no avenue for that to happen. It was an underground thing for sure and we all could have been arrested. And all three of my home births were done by my friend whom I went to homebirths with. She did go to nursing school but never studied midwifery but I asked her to deliver each of mine and she did. One of the other women I worked with did go on to study midwifery and ended up teaching it after many years of practicing. And the last I heard- she had gone back to catching babies. She missed that too much.

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  16. What a wonderful film! I enjoyed every sweet moment of it. Many thanks for sharing it.

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