Tuesday, September 13, 2022

Meaning, Magic, Memory


 Damn, y'all. I'm in a funky slump when it comes to having anything interesting to write about. I mean- my life is so uneventful right now that I had a dream last night wherein I decided to get a job. I do not know what sort of a job it was that I was going to get but hopefully something like a librarian whose sole duties are checking out books, shelving books, and reading to small children because I am way too old to be contemplating anything like truck stop waitress or exotic dancer and besides, they tore down the truck stop so forget that. 

Now I realize, having said that, that the universe is probably going to have heard what I said via that Universe Magic and create some sort of disturbance in my peaceful little life which will create chaos and problems. I hope not. And actually, I no more believe in Universe Magic than I believe in The Power of Prayer but I do have my own weird and unexplainable superstitions, just like most of us. My theory is that in order not to feel like complete victims of fate, we humans devise ways with our busy brains to attempt to control something, anything, that is normally beyond our power to control and so we come up with religions where we can petition our gods with prayer, or placate them (gods are always in need of placating, aren't they?) with sacrifices or constant worship and praise or following the rules of whatever god we choose to believe in even if they make no sense and are, in fact, harmful to our souls and minds and so forth. And even if we aren't religious we often say things like, "I'm sending you good energy or good ju-ju or positive thoughts" and I just don't quite understand that either. And there are also those of us who believe that we can visualize positive things and thus create successful outcomes for ourselves and others and honestly, I don't see humans having that sort of ability and power. 
About the best I can do is to tell someone that I am thinking of them with love because I know I can do that and if there is anything that's holy and magic, love is definitely part of it. 

And all of this is not to say that I am not superstitious although when I catch myself being superstitious I laugh at myself and try to convince myself that I'm not, not really. And truly, for the most part I am quite happy with the sort of magic that comes from the everyday and prosaic things around me like sunrise, sunset, rain, trees, babies, the minds of children, sea monsters, and Keith Richards. 

Speaking of the minds of children, when we went to have lunch with Maggie the other day she said to me, as we were eating, "The thing I wonder about is where humans come from. They haven't taught us that yet in school."
Hoo-boy!
"Do you mean how humans came to be on this planet?" I asked her.
"Yes," she said. "Where did they come from?"
Well, since we only had about twenty more minutes I tried desperately to figure out how to explain evolution and how apes and humanoids split off from each other and so forth and so on in a way she would understand in a hundred words or less.
I do not think I was successful and she probably has some truly weird ideas now but I did emphasize that ultimately, we all came from Africa. 

Now if she had asked her other grandmother, I'm pretty sure she would have heard about Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden which is a hell of a lot easier to explain and, for a child to accept and understand because it's such a neat and tidy story IF you don't start asking questions. 

Oh well. If there is one thing I know about Magnolia June, it is that she will question everything and that whatever she ends up believing, she will believe in it with certainty. This is the way she is. 

So I went to town today and had lunch with Jessie which was a joy, of course, and we did a short Costco run and then I went to the library and to Publix and then I stopped at the Bad Girls Get Saved By Jesus Thrift Store where I bought nothing, not so much as a saucer. And that was my big day. I drove home a back way down a road where I used to live with my first husband when Hank was a baby. We lived in a house that rented for $75 dollars a year (no shit) and it had primitive electricity but no running water. We had a pump out back and I washed dishes outside and we had an outhouse and as I have said many times, I am very glad I had the experience of living there because there were some things about it that were wonderful and beyond that, I will never, ever take running water or floors and walls that you can't see through for granted. That house burned down a long time ago when some asshole tried to run an AC in the bedroom which of course caused some major electrical problems. Somehow, no one died. 
But it was a trip down memory lane for me to drive that backroad. Some things have changed, some are still the same. Trailers have replaced some of the shacks, some of the land alongside the road has been cleared. But as I drove I remembered things and times and people from over forty years ago and some of that was good and some of it is still painful. 

And that's life. 
How did humans get here? Hell, don't ask me. I can barely tell you how I got here, living this life I lead now. 

Every day fall feels a little closer. And of course it is. I noticed yesterday that the Confederate Rose is putting out buds for its autumn glory blossoms, which is related to okra, hibiscus, swamp mallow, and a bush we call Rose of Sharon. There was one planted at Maggie's school and I pointed it out to her when we were walking to the cafeteria and I told her its name. 
"How do you know that?" she asked. 
"Well, I know a few things," I said. 
And I do. I've probably forgotten more than I remember but I do remember when I lived in that old house, a friend came out for lunch with her daughter who was about Hank's age and she brought me a Rose of Sharon in a pot to plant in the yard. I had made a tuna and pasta salad with whole wheat macaroni in it for us to eat. 
And for whatever reason that is something I will probably never forget. 

Humans are weird. And yet...here we are. 

Love...Ms. Moon



33 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post, Mary. You put into words what I feel and believe about religion and superstition so well. It's something I think about often and you nailed it. I am glad you got to explain to Maggie where humans come from. The garden of eden might be easier but those stories can screw you up for life. Africa and apes is much better.
    Those dolls will come to no harm with trusty Jack on watch duty.

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    1. And quite frankly, I find the idea of evolution, apes, and Africa far more miraculous than a garden and a snake and a woman blamed for everything.
      Nope. Nothing's going to get Lucy and Dorothy Anne when Jack's around!

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  2. I think I am more inclined to believe we ALL came from the Star People anymore! It's about as believeable as evolution and the Eden thing ... damn!
    I consider myself a Christian but at 79 I am questioning some of what I have always believed! I watch too much Ancient Aliens!

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    1. Well, we ARE literally made from stardust, so...

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    2. Exactly, Jennifer! And Marcia- I've always had a little pet theory that humans are a genetic experiment between apes and aliens but probably not. Seventy nine is quite an age to start questioning things like Christianity! I admire your open-mindedness!

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  3. Mary, your posts about not knowing what to write about are just fine. I have my own thoughts about Jesus and all the people who wrote about him, but i try not to bring it up.

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    1. I am perfectly okay with Jesus but I don't think he was a deity. Just my opinion. We humans do so love to deify what we love. Or don't understand.

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  4. Dorothy Anne is so dear, she plops just right- her legs apart just right, a perfect child shape! Nice to see everyone getting along. When i was a child and polio was the thing, I made my mother absolutely promise to take me to Oral Roberts if I got polio, she tsk-tsked sweetly ( oh you idiot child!) and then promised...we were not Christian but that did not stop me from believing what I saw that man do in black and white on the television at our neighbor's house! WOW! Bonk on the forehead and scream at them "HEAL, in the name of Jayyyysuz! HEAL" People without legs got up and bloody well walked! No one could change my mind for long time- I know what I saw!! So that was good training- I have questioned every single thing since and usually come up with - science, the only evidence seeker there is.
    Oh and yes, I do love a good outhouse- I love the fresh cold air and pooping outside. It feels like an accomplishment.

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    1. I adore Dorothy Anne. However, she does sometimes leave cracker crumbs in the bed. At least that's what I tell Glen.
      You precious child- Oral Roberts. What a shithead he is. He's been scamming people our whole lives. It was Billy Graham on TV that got me on my knees. I prayed and prayed and Jayyysuz never answered. I finally got up and gave those knees a break.
      As to outhouses- that doesn't sound so bad. However, ours broke me one time when I was using it and at the same second a wasp stung me I saw a snake by my feet. Okay. That was enough of that.

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  5. Oh dear lord, I wonder how much Maggie's teacher is allowed to say to her without being sent packing (the teacher, not Maggie)! It could be a fascinating academic year.

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    1. Her teacher, although she appears to be about fourteen years old, looks to me like she is capable of handling any and all of it. She's a force!

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  6. That Maggie is one smart human, wherever she came from!

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  7. I remember being in catechism class as a kid. When the nun got through with her dribble, I raised my hand and actually asked, "do you really believe that crap?' That nun nearly broke her leg getting to a phone to call my mother. Poor Mom. She defended me by saying I hadn't been feeling well that day. LOL! She was a saint, truly. I think she (if brave enough) would have asked the same question I did.
    I think Jack has a spiritual connection to those dolls. The picture was so sweet.
    Your 'nothing to write about' is sure a hell of a lot more interesting than most of my days. Thank you!
    Paranormal John

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    1. Ha ha, that's brilliant John!

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    2. Oh, John- that was indeed brilliant, like Treaders said. I will think about you as a little boy asking that question and laugh for years to come.
      Honestly, I think Jack just really likes to sleep on the bed.

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  8. Humans ARE weird and wonderful too, and now I have to google Rose of Sharon because the name is familiar but I can't recall the plant. I love the blue pot in that first picture, I have several pots in just that colour because I love it so much.

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    1. Lily gave me the cutting that I planted in the blue pot. It pleases me greatly.

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  9. Rose of Sharon = Hibiscus, which I should have remembered but didn't.

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  10. It IS funny what memories stick. I remember your stories about that cabin where you lived with no running water. There was a time when I would have found such an existence incredibly romantic and exciting but no longer! Now I need plumbing!

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    1. I'm right there with you on plumbing- greatest invention of the human race as far as I'm concerned.

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  11. I went through Catholic schools from elementary through college and it angers me the fairy tales, folk lore and foolish rules I followed for so long. I stopped believing when my Dad died. All of a sudden, none of it made any sense to me anymore. I can't imagine why I ever fell for all that b.s...

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    1. It's funny isn't it, that some of us just absolutely can't accept all of those stories and rules? I guess we're the ones without the religion gene.

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  12. I wonder if cats have always slept on beds, as long as humans have been using beds.

    I'm in a boredom funk, even though I have things to do, I'm grounded as my husband puts it. I finished one quilt yesterday, from the reclaimed quilt and will work on the other one today. The second quilt has embroidered panels which remind me of you for some reason. I've also started a counted cross stitch Christmas stocking for Jack. The last time I did much cross stitch was around thirty years ago. They've made the holes smaller I realize now:)

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    1. I feel certain that cats have indeed always slept in the same spaces and places as humans.
      Well, you may be bored but you're doing things and being creative and that's good. I, too, have noticed how everything is smaller these days than they used to be.

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  13. We have Rose of Sharon here where I live in NY. They grow to be quite a large bushy kind of plant with white or pink flowers, often growing wild. They are a beautiful old fashioned plant. I wonder if they are the same one you’re thinking of.
    June

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    1. I imagine it is the same plant. They can get quite large here. We also have lavender ones.

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  14. We do create our own reality, thought is energy and the more thought/energy we put into an idea the more likely it is to manifest. This isn't religious woo woo stuff but physics. This planet (our reality) is as it is because all the souls working out their karmas here agree that this is the stage on which we work out our plays. And with that in mind it's never a good idea to invoke the gods. You won't like it.

    I noticed my confederate rose is putting on buds too. I don't know what variety I have but they get 10' tall, at least. I'd rather they were short shrubby things so I could enjoy the flowers better.

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    1. I'm with you up to a point. Obviously, the more you think about something and give your mind time to work it out, the better the outcome. I am not sure at all about karma. Maybe, maybe not.
      My confederate rose is really tall too, even though Glen cuts it back hard. It has to grow tall to get some sun in this yard.

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  15. love your first paragraph, Ellen........ thought *is* energy.....and we can open pathways to many things if we are open to it and *feel* it. Nicely written ;-).
    Susan M

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    1. I think most of us can agree on many things if we just disregard certain terms that we use for them.

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  16. That last picture is perfection

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.