Today has been an odd and uncomfortable day for me. I woke up from the most horrific dreams of blood and murder and viewed from a distance, it's almost as if I translated the slaughter of my chickens to a human tale with a human fox who murdered over and over and over with no one to stop him. Not a good way to wake up at all.
And I was anxious and feeling as if perhaps reality was far less tangible than usual which is frightening in itself.
Not good, not good, not good.
I thought about the post I published last night and I felt as if I should delete it. Was it braggy? Oh, look at me, I used to be a regular Mother Theresa or something. But the fact of the matter is, I did those things. But haven't we all done things like that? To take care of dear ones who need tending is not a holy thing, it is a human thing.
And I am so very, very human. Nothing else. And as I said, I can't imagine doing things like that now whereas I know people who have spent their entire lives doing for others and I'm not talking about people who are trying to pile up gold in heaven, either. People who are just plain good.
Which I am not. Not really.
Anyway, I had my breakfast and then went to take my medications. I'm on a few for depression and anxiety and blood pressure- you know, the regular, I guess, and I realized that I had not taken my meds yesterday. Which explained a whole lot. It was comforting in a way. Chemicals. It's all chemicals.
And scary in another way. What if I got cut off from my chemicals?
It would not be pretty.
I took a walk. Far off in the distance in front of me, I saw someone who was also walking the sidewalk. I thought maybe it was No Man Lord who would reach his property before I caught up with him. But as I drew closer, I could see that it was someone I didn't know and it appeared that he may have started his Labor Day celebrations early. His gait was off but after a certain age, whose isn't? It looked like perhaps his pants were falling down but surely that couldn't be. I mean, yes, there is that style with waistbands down below jockey shorted butts, but this didn't seem like that. And then he fumbled for the back of his britches, trying to pull them up and I decided that whatever was going on there wasn't something I wanted to deal with so I turned around and walked down to the nearby bridge over what is probably a small offshoot of Lloyd Creek (why don't I know?) which is where I took the picture above. I crossed to the other side and there I saw turtles sunning on a log in the way they do and I took their picture.