I hate cleaning. I just truly fucking hate it. I love to cook and I don't mind cleaning up the kitchen when I'm done. Laundry does not phase me. I have that shit DOWN. Of course there's only the two of us now. It's not like when I had a child or two in diapers and two older kids and a husband and myself to do laundry for. But I try to keep up with it all and use cloth napkins and lots of dishtowels instead of paper towels when I can and one pair of Mr. Moon's jeans is about enough to fill up the washing machine so there's a fair amount.
But when it comes to actual house cleaning, I just resent the hell out of it. Whether we're talking about scrubbing bathrooms or cleaning under beds or dusting furniture or washing windows or cleaning windowsills, or mopping, I just feel slightly berserk. Like there's a demon in me that's going to burst out of my chest or forehead, alien-like, leaving me writhing on the (dirty) floor. Listening to podcasts and audio books makes it far less tedious but I still get the demon feeling. I'm not as insane about it as I used to be. I've grown a bit more patient and tolerant of things as I've gotten older.
But when it comes to actual house cleaning, I just resent the hell out of it. Whether we're talking about scrubbing bathrooms or cleaning under beds or dusting furniture or washing windows or cleaning windowsills, or mopping, I just feel slightly berserk. Like there's a demon in me that's going to burst out of my chest or forehead, alien-like, leaving me writhing on the (dirty) floor. Listening to podcasts and audio books makes it far less tedious but I still get the demon feeling. I'm not as insane about it as I used to be. I've grown a bit more patient and tolerant of things as I've gotten older.
Some things. Certainly not all.
But let's face it- unless you want to live in filth, you gotta do some cleaning. And sometimes that cleaning has to involve more than a swipe and a wipe. Sometimes you have to get in there and start at one point and end at another.
Like cleaning the refrigerator.
This is one of my least favorite chores and why I decided to do that today is beyond me. I started out the day by taking everything out of the utensil drawer and doing an attempted reorganization.
Guys. I have about fifty knives. I have knives that belonged to my grandfather. Knives that you can cut through bone with. Knives to open oysters with (five, in fact), and knives that I literally only use to cut back banana stems with.
This is one of my least favorite chores and why I decided to do that today is beyond me. I started out the day by taking everything out of the utensil drawer and doing an attempted reorganization.
Guys. I have about fifty knives. I have knives that belonged to my grandfather. Knives that you can cut through bone with. Knives to open oysters with (five, in fact), and knives that I literally only use to cut back banana stems with.
I have crab-opening tools. I have can opening tools. I have peelers and graters. I have a cheese slicer. I have corkscrews. I have bottle openers even though we have a vintage Coke cap opener screwed to a cabinet. I have a shrimp de-veiner. I have two pairs of kitchen shears. I have knife sharpeners.
I also keep my list-making index cards in that drawer. Why? FUCK IF I KNOW!
I have a lot of shit. A lot of which I do not use and a lot I use almost daily.
Anyway, I started there today. When I got done with that project it still looked like a kitchen supply store had exploded in the drawer.
Anyway, I started there today. When I got done with that project it still looked like a kitchen supply store had exploded in the drawer.
Then I decided to take my own advice and dump out the old beauty berry jam. Which I did. And put the jars in the dishwasher. I cleaned some shelves that they'd been on and also dumped a few jars of mysterious pickles.
Better safe than sorry.
I was on such a roll by then that I decided to go ahead and clean the damn refrigerator which looked like that picture up top. And of course you can't see where sticky things had dripped down into bins and onto the bottom. So I got started with that. First the side bins where we put sauces and dressings and so forth. That is not a huge challenge. Then I moved on to the main body of the refrigerator, going from top to bottom as one does. I took out food, shelf-by-shelf, got rid of the iffy things and the regular science project things that prompt one to ask, "What WAS this?" I combined bottles of chili sauce and don't ask me why I had two open. I threw out as much as I possibly could in good conscience. And then I took out the shelves and bins and washed all of them and dried them off a bit and then let them air on towels I spread out in the kitchen and took out the giant piece of glass that the bottom shelf is covered with and carefully and gingerly cleaned that of pickle juice and jam spillage and so forth in the sink.
All of this took hours. My counters were filled with jars of homemade pickles and preserves and sauces and salsas. I was able to combine some and at least wipe down others. I cleaned the bottom of the refrigerator and wiped down the sides. And then it was time to put all of the bins and shelves back in.
The bottom bin on the right almost broke me. For whatever reason, I could NOT get that thing back in. I finally did but I may have broken something. At this point, I do not care. It's in. That's all that matters. I put the piece of glass back. And then I went to put the shelves in and that did truly break a piece of my soul. I finally realized I had to get the step stool to get high enough to put them in place. They are glass. They are heavy. I finally did it.
All of this took hours. My counters were filled with jars of homemade pickles and preserves and sauces and salsas. I was able to combine some and at least wipe down others. I cleaned the bottom of the refrigerator and wiped down the sides. And then it was time to put all of the bins and shelves back in.
The bottom bin on the right almost broke me. For whatever reason, I could NOT get that thing back in. I finally did but I may have broken something. At this point, I do not care. It's in. That's all that matters. I put the piece of glass back. And then I went to put the shelves in and that did truly break a piece of my soul. I finally realized I had to get the step stool to get high enough to put them in place. They are glass. They are heavy. I finally did it.
And then back with all the food and I tried to keep things in groups like the barbecue sauces, the pickles and olives and capers, the jams and preserves, and so forth. I finally finished around 3:30 and it looked like this.
Not a whole lot of difference, right?
Oh well. At least I have a vague idea of what's in there and general locations.
And you know what? I should just be so grateful to have the problem of too much food for a huge refrigerator.
Although I must ask- are condiments food?
Oh well. At least I have a vague idea of what's in there and general locations.
And you know what? I should just be so grateful to have the problem of too much food for a huge refrigerator.
Although I must ask- are condiments food?
Have any of you seen the new Ron Howard film on Netflix, "Thirteen Lives"?
My god. We watched it over two nights. I have never seen a movie like it. Ever. There were parts I could not watch and yet, I could not bear not to see the ending, even though I know how the story ends because I heard an interview on NPR with some of the men who characters were based on. The movie is not for everyone, I am sure. But I can tell you this- if you watch it, you will never be quite the same.
I cannot really say I loved it but I can say that it is a magnificent achievement in film-making. And it is the story of what miracles humans can achieve when they come together as one people to do the impossible.
And I am glad I watched it.
See you tomorrow.
Love...Ms. Moon
I'm tired just reading about the fridge cleaning. I don't think I've ever done it all at once. Door one day, one shelf another etc. Couldn't face it all together.
ReplyDeleteThat's probably the best way to do it but I'm not sure I'd get to the end of it before I gave up.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYay - an honest fridge photo that I can relate to! I think I need a shrimp de-veiner in my life. Cleaning is the pits. At least the fridge will stay tidy for a while. But the house? It's never ending.
ReplyDeleteI almost never use the shrimp de-veiner but if I need it, it's there!
DeleteYou are so right about the house- never, ever ending.
I detest deep cleaning! I don't *enjoy* cleaning of any kind....but do it because it must be done. Your fridge looks wonderful and now you have found everything! I partially cleaned mine yesterday.....but didn't get to pulling the glass shelves out. another day........another *just kill me* task!
ReplyDeleteSusan M
Guck gets trapped under that glass and when I get everything out it is so apparent. Ugh. So. Might as well clean it, I guess. My "just kille me" task is the oven. Always.
DeleteI rolled down to the first picture and said OMG, the refrigerator is cleaned! I am way impressed.
ReplyDeleteI've seen the trailers for that documentary, and while I agree only Ron Howard could have made it, I don't have it in me to watch it. Thanks for saying it's a great film, though.
It was definitely not a film to be watched as entertainment. But my Lord, it was amazing. If Howard doesn't get Best Director I will not understand why.
Deletego to the pot store and get some that is happy speedy pot , light a doobie, crank up the music - The house will indeed sparkle. The only way I can clean house is when everyone is gone.
ReplyDeleteI saw Ron Howard being interviewed about the film. Fascinating how they made it look like the real deal and actually a couple of the actors had trouble with claustrophobia and near drowning.
I wish I liked getting stoned because if I did- I WOULD. Maybe I just haven't tried the right strains.
DeleteHoward did an amazing, unbelievable job directing the movie. There will be Oscars.
37paddington:
ReplyDeleteIn this way I guess we are not alike—I hate doing laundry, it gives me the demon feeling you describe so well, but I can happily clean a fridge from stem to stern and feel a great sense of accomplishment to see it gleam afterward. I want to see that movie. My husband says he won’t watch, that just thinking about it makes him claustrophobic.
Well my darling, we can't be exactly the same can we?
DeleteYou should watch the movie. Glen is very claustrophobic and he handled it fine. For me, the hardest parts were what they have to do to carry the boys out of the cave. I can't even talk about it without choking up. I can't believe they did it and it worked.
Dammit, I copied my comment and fixed the spelling error and then deleted the original comment and now there is no comment except this one. Bloody hell.
ReplyDeleteI hate cleaning bathrooms the most. I hate clutter. I hate animal hair. I dislike dirty fridge but also dislike cleaning them. A dilemma, which is caused this problem in the first place. I didn't spell dilemma correctly.
The movie, I won't watch, too stressful, even though I know they all survived. I already have enough stress in my life:)
Just because we don't like dirt and clutter and dust and animal hair does not, in my opinion, mean that we have to be the ones who clean it! One of these days I'm going to get a cleaner. I mean it.
DeleteI completely understand why you would not want to watch the movie.
I need to clean and reorganize my two chest freezers.... I could just pull out all my hair, thinking abut it. The newly processed meatbirds are all sitting on top in there. My son always helps me 'toss the freezers', as we call it. It's actually relatively painless. I have no idea why we have such hate of housecleaning, but it's sure real... Cheers from Vermont!
ReplyDeleteI sort of make my husband clean out the garage freezers. His arms are way longer than mine and its mostly his stuff in them. Venison and fish, etc.
DeleteI've tried to figure out why I hate it so much and the best reason I can come up with is that it's just so endless.
Yes, that is a major problem, that unrelenting endlessness...
DeletePS My fridge is a disgrace...
ReplyDeleteFor the moment, mine is not. Won't take long though...
DeleteI'm reminded of the times I cleaned the kids fridge when I was cleaning there twice weekly while they worked. I didn't clean it each time, maybe just every couple of months or so, I'd open jars and throw out whichever ones were growing mould, I'd empty what appeared to be sour milk only to find watery liquid surrounding a solid lump of (yoghurt?) and the slimy remains of whatever vegetables had been in the crisper. It's been a few years since I did that now and I think the fridge there isn't so bad now, but I have to leave it to them. my own fridge is a wasteland of empty spaces with a few condiments in baskets on the bottom shelf, eggs on the middle shelf and milk on the top shelf. There's a ton of vegetables in the freezer section. I used to love cleaning when I had a house. I'd vacuum from one end to the other, then polish the furniture, scrub out the bathroom and the "corners" of the kitchen that didn't get done nightly when I was washing up, things like under and behind the microwave, under and behind the fridge. Floors got mopped twice a week. NOW, here in this little three roomed box, I don't care anymore. I vacuumed this morning for the first time in probably two years, swiped a bunch of cat hair off the windowsill and said "that's enough".
ReplyDeletePhew! Thank goodness you relaxed a little on the cleaning! There was one point in my life when I cleaned like a crazy woman because I WAS a crazy woman. My life was completely out of control but I could get my house as clean as it could possibly be and I sure did. Also, I loved that house.
DeleteI would hate to clean someone else's refrigerator. Even my child's.
That is one very full fridge! I was looking at mine yesterday and thinking I must clean the shelves. My fridge is right up against a wall, so the door only opens so far and the shelves don't come out very easily so have to be cleaned in situ..not perfect. Will wait until Sunday , just before I go food shopping again when it will be emptier!
ReplyDeleteAnd there lies the rub! Literally! But cleaning "in situ" as you said which is awesome, is good enough, I think. And yes, I do have a very full refrigerator but I swear to you- at least 2/3's of that is condiments and sauces.
DeleteWhen the kids were little and I was still married, I did have to clean a lot! 4 sons and 1 daughter just make a mess!
ReplyDeleteBut now we are down to my oldest son and me, and it just doesn't get very dirty. Thank goodness because I don't like to clean much either.
My fridge never has as much food in it as yours does so, I don't mind when I have to check for expiration dates and clean it. Doesn't happen often, tho, I don't want to give you the wrong idea about me! :)
I remember those days of trying to keep house for an entire family. You had one more child than I did but we both had plenty to clean up after. I am so glad that those days are behind me, honestly.
DeleteI know my husband would like the house to be cleaner now than it is but he never complains. I think his mother and his sisters cleaned all the time and he grew up in a spotless house.
I hardly ever check expiration dates. Things get eaten pretty quickly.
OH god, my refrigerator hasn't been cleaned in five years. Everytime I open it I think I need to do just that but the door won't open quite far enough to get the drawers out because it's against the wall on one side so it has to be pulled out but it won't roll smoothly over the soft vinyl flooring. I've already got two torn spots from the last time we pulled it out for whatever reason I can't remember. Should have cleaned it then. But yeah, hate house cleaning. The dust is getting to the point where I'll have to tackle that soon. And the utensil drawer, yep, full and stuff I never use like the bulb baster. Why do I even have that?
ReplyDeleteYou have a great excuse, Ellen! I love that you hate housecleaning as much as I do. Luckily the light in my house is fairly dim so the dust doesn't show as badly. Thank goodness.
DeleteMy husband keeps giving me kitchen utensils as gifts that he thinks I'll like. Straight into the drawer they go and I rarely use them. But he's trying to be sweet.
Maybe I'm getting brainwashed by aliens or something but in the last year or two I've started to almost like cleaning instead of feeling like you. It gives me some kind of pathetic confidence that I am in control or something. Well at least I am in control of not living in such a filthy mess as before. And getting rid of those poor dear jars of jam, that kills me when I think of the labour that went into them but I feel so much better having done it. I think your fridge looks much better after the clear out!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jenny! Could you please send those aliens over to see me? I could use some of that sort of brainwashing.
DeleteI completely understand the sense of control thing. I went through a phase of that in my young life. I sure had a clean and shiny house but I have to say I was as crazy as a rabid coon.
I actually like cleaning, usually, but cleaning a refrigerator CAN be quite tedious. Especially if you've got a lot of stuff stored in it. (And if you didn't, would you really need to clean it?!)
ReplyDelete